The night before our ill fated wedding MIL is overheard saying-
"I hope you aren't going to change your will and make HER the beneficiary..."
That was just the tip of the iceberg and it only got worse from there.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Pp here. Accidentally embedded my post in the quote. Damn iphone.

I am the PP to whom you responded. The MIL said she would buy a glider, and said the one that was chosen was too expensive. So, the choices are to pick a cheaper one, or the couple buy it themselves. To complain because the MIL didn't want to spend what the DIL wanted her to spend is entitled, in my opinion. Maybe I'm wrong. If it were my MIL, I would have started a dialogue about what she wanted to spend/ how much is acceptable, and worked with that. It could be that MIL doesn't have current info about what these things cost. The DIL could always supplement some of her own money to buy the glider she wants, while still appreciating the gift rather than complaining about things not going exactly her way.

I think the issue is that she waited until a couple days before the due date to say anything. Now OP has to scramble to go find and buy the glider she wants.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Pp here. Accidentally embedded my post in the quote. Damn iphone.

I am the PP to whom you responded. The MIL said she would buy a glider, and said the one that was chosen was too expensive. So, the choices are to pick a cheaper one, or the couple buy it themselves. To complain because the MIL didn't want to spend what the DIL wanted her to spend is entitled, in my opinion. Maybe I'm wrong. If it were my MIL, I would have started a dialogue about what she wanted to spend/ how much is acceptable, and worked with that. It could be that MIL doesn't have current info about what these things cost. The DIL could always supplement some of her own money to buy the glider she wants, while still appreciating the gift rather than complaining about things not going exactly her way.

+1

I don't disagree with what you have written here: it would have been good to know the budget. I wonder if it's on the table for OP to say "what were you thinking of gifting us/what is your budget" and decide for herself if she wants to make up the difference.

I think some people are very provincial or just don't know costs. With weddings and babies, you always get the "I want to buy your (fill in the blank) for me! You have to let me do this for you!!" ....and crickets when you present the choice/price.

Laughed at me for driving a Toyota.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:She really doesn't say anything. She enters my house and doesn't even say hello. So no, she doesn't say rude things, she is just rude.

What have you contributed to the situation? These things rarely happen in a vacuum.

Wow, I didn't expect to be slammed. Actually I say hello and speak with her all the time. She is the one who does not address me. Here is an example of a conversation:

mil..knock knock
Me...hi! Come on in
Mil...where's my boy? ( meaning her grandchild)
Me...he's in the family room, how are you?
Mil...it's cold in your house, is the air conditioner set to high?

This is how it is every week when she comes to visit. It is really funny when my DH is home because she will speak to him by nam, asking questions and the like about life and the baby. I will try to interact but she just ignores me. Weird.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:She really doesn't say anything. She enters my house and doesn't even say hello. So no, she doesn't say rude things, she is just rude.

What have you contributed to the situation? These things rarely happen in a vacuum.

Different poster here. My MIL is passive like that. It is very uncomfortable, especially if you are outgoing, and MIL knows it.

She almost always greets us (me, DH and our baby) with a complaint. So we almost never hear "it's good to see you!" or "hi, we've missed you guys!" or something like that. It's almost always "you're late" or "why didn't you park my car for me?" or "well it's been a long time hasn't it" or my favorite sometimes I get negative feedback on my appearance! Awesome.

She also wonders why we don't want to spend more time with her. I want to crotchet "You catch more flies with honey than with vinegar" on a pillow and give it to her for Christmas.

Has made racist remarks about all varieties of non-whites, including my own race and another DIL's.

Not said directly to me, but called my SIL a cunt because she wanted to go to her home country for the first time in 10 years (SIL's brothers can't get visas to visit the US so she can only see them when she goes back) rather than spend Christmas with MIL like they'd done for the last 9 years.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Pp here. Accidentally embedded my post in the quote. Damn iphone.

I am the PP to whom you responded. The MIL said she would buy a glider, and said the one that was chosen was too expensive. So, the choices are to pick a cheaper one, or the couple buy it themselves. To complain because the MIL didn't want to spend what the DIL wanted her to spend is entitled, in my opinion. Maybe I'm wrong. If it were my MIL, I would have started a dialogue about what she wanted to spend/ how much is acceptable, and worked with that. It could be that MIL doesn't have current info about what these things cost. The DIL could always supplement some of her own money to buy the glider she wants, while still appreciating the gift rather than complaining about things not going exactly her way.

+1

You people have no reading comprehension. The first thing the PP said was that the baby was due any day and that her MIL had waited until now to tell her that she wasn't going to buy her the glider she had wanted (and it sounded like she would have just gone out and bought herself otherwise, a while ago). Sounds like she would have been happier just to have gone out and bought the glider she wanted in the first place a long time ago. Now she's imminently due to give birth and has to deal with it at the same time.

Sometimes people do this--make big pronouncements about some big ticket item they want to buy for you because they love that it makes them look like a generous hero. Then it turns out there are strings attached or limits to the point that you'd rather just buy it yourself. I've seen this happen and it turns something that should have been a nice gesture into at best an annoyance.

Anonymous wrote:She really doesn't say anything. She enters my house and doesn't even say hello. So no, she doesn't say rude things, she is just rude.

What have you contributed to the situation? These things rarely happen in a vacuum.

She really doesn't say anything. She enters my house and doesn't even say hello. So no, she doesn't say rude things, she is just rude.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:She told my husband "when a son marries, a mother loses a son, when a daughter marries a mother gains a son". On the way to church on our wedding day.

I hate her guts for doing this.

My MIL said something similar to me the day after the wedding. The worst part was that she said it so matter of fact, as if it wasn't offensive.

Weddings can really suck for the immediate family of the groom. It depends on the bride and her family but it can be absolutely horrible.

OP here. I believe this. So do all weddings, funerals, births, you name it. If it is not about MIL, it must suck, apparently.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:She told my husband "when a son marries, a mother loses a son, when a daughter marries a mother gains a son". On the way to church on our wedding day.

I hate her guts for doing this.

This is an old saying OP. I wouldn't be offended at all.

So is "Revenge is a dish best served cold".

Are you so clueless as to believe that it's appropriate to say something so mean, at their wedding, just because it's an 'old saying'?

NOT OP, BTW.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

She dressed my infant son in girls clothes "just to see what it would be like to have a girl grandbaby."

!!!

Thankfully, her behavior (that is just one example) upset and alienated her son enough that he drastically limits the amount of time we spend with her.

+1

OP here. This happened with us, as well. Dh won't so much as call or visit his mother, somehow that is my fault. Not her fault that she is an oblivious, passive nasty old woman.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Pp here. Accidentally embedded my post in the quote. Damn iphone.

I am the PP to whom you responded. The MIL said she would buy a glider, and said the one that was chosen was too expensive. So, the choices are to pick a cheaper one, or the couple buy it themselves. To complain because the MIL didn't want to spend what the DIL wanted her to spend is entitled, in my opinion. Maybe I'm wrong. If it were my MIL, I would have started a dialogue about what she wanted to spend/ how much is acceptable, and worked with that. It could be that MIL doesn't have current info about what these things cost. The DIL could always supplement some of her own money to buy the glider she wants, while still appreciating the gift rather than complaining about things not going exactly her way.

+1