Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:That's helpful, thanks. I guess my thinking is that in a pool setting there are others nearby who can help me/DC get to the edge. In an ocean you're probably dead anyway and all the swim lessons in the world are unlikely to help you truly survive. But yeah, it is a life skill that I will I had but the lack of it has not impacted my life in any meaningful way.

if they notice your child fall in... every year there are kids who die at public pools, full of people and with lifeguards on duty.

Exactly. We saw a near-drowning last week. I don't know why the parents weren't watching their kid, but she appeared to be around 2ish. She'd wandered into the shallow end of the pool and was completely underwater by the time they and the lifeguard noticed her. I heard them telling her that she knew better than to wander off as if a 2 year old didn't need to be constantly watched. I only noticed her when the parents started running and jumped into the pool fully clothed. I was too far to get to her and was also watching my own children, who are beginning swimmers. She looked to me as if she was just a kid who was going underwater on purpose, so I can see how it didn't immediately appear to people that she was actually in trouble.

This is the truth about drowning -- it doesn't look like you think it would look! Most people think when a person is drowning in a pool that they will splash and cry out and call attention to themselves, but really, its often the very opposite that happens. Please don't rely on others in the pool to watch your kid unless they are specifically tasked with doing so.

I tried enrolling my 4.5 year old in a learn to swim class through dc park and rec and they wouldn't take him until he turned 5. So I'd say that means there are 5 year olds who haven't yet learned to swim.

I'm a PP who forgot to say, my DH cannot swim well. His parents were adamant about lessons because they lived in SF on the water. He resisted the lessons and was forced, for safety reasons. he's always associated the water with the unpleasant nature of the lessons and while he can probably save himself in the deep end (as long as it's not too wavy or too far form shore) he's not a strong swimmer at all and, more importantly, he doesn't ENJOY the water one bit. His sister on the other hand, really likes to swim. But she always liked the lessons. I think forcing lessons on kids, particularly with a really rigid instructor, can be damaging.

Anonymous wrote:

No, it's pretty dangerous to have a 5 year old whose parents think that swimming skills are protective. Those are the parents who do risky things like reducing supervision.

That's ridiculous. Once a child has a certain level of swimming skills, it is entirely appropriate to reduce supervision. That is why YMCA pools and various city and private pools have swim tests that children can pass such that they can be in the water without an adult. It is not, however, appropriate to eliminate supervision - a parent still needs to be on the deck watching the child.

I belong to a private pool in MD, where such a deep test is administered. This pool prides itself on being "relaxed" and anti-helicopter parenting. These parents consider the deep water test to be when they can relax and let the lifeguards watch their kids. We have kids who have passed that test at 4!

As a former lifeguard, this makes me so nervous. I used to lifeguard at a children's day camp. Kids were not even eligible to take the deep water swim test at our camp until they were 6, and the standards for little kids were more stringent because they don't have the self regulation to know when they're getting tired. Even at 6, we would have kids who were competent swimmers get tired and need an assist. You might be sure your child is water safe, but it is absolutely a false sense of security. On the other hand, I have an almost 6 year old who would surely drown if dropped into water over his head, because he's got some sensory issues (in OT for) and is terrified of putting his face in water. I tell myself i'll watch him like a hawk, and do, but there were a few times of course where I had a mild panic like where's ___ only to breathe a sigh of relief when he was nearby of course. So I do feel like instilling basic water safety skills is very important, but there's a point where the child (and parent) become overly confident around water and that's truly equally unsafe. A fear of water is somewhat protective. (Of course, some kids are born without that water fear, and that's a whole different ballgame).

I think the ideal situation is a competent swimmer, but parents who remain truly watchful. Again, at our pool, it is absolutely the norm for children who are around 5 to be in the pool unsupervised. I know one mom of such a kid well and she thinks her kids is fine....he's not. I've seen him struggle and get a hand from a grown up while in the shallow end! She saw this and said, meh, he would have been okay. He was completely freaking out - I don't agree and it's nerve-wracking. But he passed the deep water test (which is, I think swim unassisted across width of pool and tread water for 60 seconds - sorry but that's WAY different from really being water competent) and that satisfies her, so what can i say? Again, lessons, but vigilance.

Can't swim or read.

Neither of my kids could swim at 5. They loved the pool, but were nervous about not having something to stand on or hold onto. They also didn't want to put their faces in the water.

I grew up spending most of my summer in the pool-- including swim lessons. I wanted them to learn to swim early, but they wouldn't do lessons!

My older one finally asked for lessons when he was 11, and quickly became a good swimmer. My younger is 10, and still refuses lessons, but he swims well enough to be allowed in the deep end.

Mine has some motor planning issues that make all the moving parts complicated. She can do everything independently but doing the paddling, kicking, breathing all at once is difficult. We still work on it.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:No, but DS is only 18 months old. I come from a different culture that doesn't emphasize swimming as much. I'm curious to learn why you all feel it is so important. Any responses would be helpful!

My mom can't swim. Or rather, she couldn't- she took swimming lessons in her 50s when she and her DH decided they wanted a boat. I'm so proud of her. She was ADAMANT that her kids be at least decent enough swimmers so that fear of the water wasn't something we had. It had profound effect on her in a way that I won't fully understand because I was a competitive swimmer and it never crosses my mind that I should be afraid. Do I respect whatever body of water I am in, yup. And if I didn't I wouldn't get in.

I don't need my kid to have a good IM time or even to be able to swim more than freestyle and side stroke, but I think its a survival skill.

My dad was the same way, but he never got over the fear. (Someone pushed him in the water in the 1930s, and he died without ever getting back in.) My parents enrolled me in classes from preschool on, and I've done the same for DD. It's a vital safety skill, but it's also an important source of shared fun throughout childhood.

Anonymous wrote:No, but DS is only 18 months old. I come from a different culture that doesn't emphasize swimming as much. I'm curious to learn why you all feel it is so important. Any responses would be helpful!

My mom can't swim. Or rather, she couldn't- she took swimming lessons in her 50s when she and her DH decided they wanted a boat. I'm so proud of her. She was ADAMANT that her kids be at least decent enough swimmers so that fear of the water wasn't something we had. It had profound effect on her in a way that I won't fully understand because I was a competitive swimmer and it never crosses my mind that I should be afraid. Do I respect whatever body of water I am in, yup. And if I didn't I wouldn't get in.

I don't need my kid to have a good IM time or even to be able to swim more than freestyle and side stroke, but I think its a survival skill.

Anonymous wrote:I'm 32 and I can't swim, and I have managed just fine in life. I enjoy going to the beach and pool but to just laze about in the water. I didn't realize kids were expected to be competent swimmers!

I'm 44 and I cant swim. I've signed my DD up for lessons when she was 5. She is 7 now and is a really good swimmer and can swim the entire length of the pool. I wanted her to learn because I tried lessons and am terrified of even learning to float (yep I said float). I would give anything to get over my fear and learn to swim.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:That's helpful, thanks. I guess my thinking is that in a pool setting there are others nearby who can help me/DC get to the edge. In an ocean you're probably dead anyway and all the swim lessons in the world are unlikely to help you truly survive. But yeah, it is a life skill that I will I had but the lack of it has not impacted my life in any meaningful way.

if they notice your child fall in... every year there are kids who die at public pools, full of people and with lifeguards on duty.

Exactly. We saw a near-drowning last week. I don't know why the parents weren't watching their kid, but she appeared to be around 2ish. She'd wandered into the shallow end of the pool and was completely underwater by the time they and the lifeguard noticed her. I heard them telling her that she knew better than to wander off as if a 2 year old didn't need to be constantly watched. I only noticed her when the parents started running and jumped into the pool fully clothed. I was too far to get to her and was also watching my own children, who are beginning swimmers. She looked to me as if she was just a kid who was going underwater on purpose, so I can see how it didn't immediately appear to people that she was actually in trouble.

Anonymous wrote:That's helpful, thanks. I guess my thinking is that in a pool setting there are others nearby who can help me/DC get to the edge. In an ocean you're probably dead anyway and all the swim lessons in the world are unlikely to help you truly survive. But yeah, it is a life skill that I will I had but the lack of it has not impacted my life in any meaningful way.

if they notice your child fall in... every year there are kids who die at public pools, full of people and with lifeguards on duty.

My child was in swim lessons at least 15 weeks a year since birth, and at five, she couldn't swim at all and wouldn't put her head under the water. I switched to private lessons for about 10 weeks, and she became more comfortable and could maybe swim 5 feet before she turned six. After another year of lessons and slight improvement, I did another set of 10 private lessons, and now, finally, at almost 8, she can swim the length of the pool without difficulty, although it still isn't pretty.

Water safety has always been very important to me, so this was the one thing that we allowed to dictate our schedule, yet still some kids just aren't ready (which was a surprise to me, as I learned before 2, but I loved swimming instantly as a baby and would crawl into the pool when my mom looked away, so she had to push the lessons early too).

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:OP here. I wasn't trying to open a brag thread, more to guage whether most five year olds are competent swimmers, not the ones whose parents have signed then up for swim lessons weekly since birth, the normal ones.

Those of you who have done the multiple swim lessons route do you know if most of the rest of your kid's classmates have learned to swim yet?

Yes, I would say that most five-year-olds can swim well enough to cross a pool.

I think the issue is exposure. I rarely see a kid who can't swim well by the age of 4 or 5 at our community pool. Kids tend to spend part of everyday there from the time they are young, so they learn to swim at a young age. My youngest was swimming across the pool when she was 3 and my older ones definitely by 5. Thing is that my friends who don't belong to pools have kids who didn't learn to swim well enough to make it across the pool until age 7 or 8, which was when they allowed them to participate in swimming at summer camp.

Anonymous wrote:That's helpful, thanks. I guess my thinking is that in a pool setting there are others nearby who can help me/DC get to the edge. In an ocean you're probably dead anyway and all the swim lessons in the world are unlikely to help you truly survive. But yeah, it is a life skill that I will I had but the lack of it has not impacted my life in any meaningful way.

Kids drown in pools all the time, sadly. Even when there are adults present. And swim lessons absolutely can save your life in the ocean! If you just need to get back to the beach despite a strong undertow or getting caught in a riptide, what you really need is strong swimming ability and the confidence not to panic. If you fall off a boat or something, you probably just need to stay afloat until the boat comes back around.

Anyway, I agree, one can get by in life just fine without swimming skills - my DH does! - but it is a LOT less safe to be around water.