It's naive to dismiss the influence of culture. Of course a spoiled upbringing or someone having his own issues affects how he acts, but if there are certain expectations and gender rules in the culture, it makes it all that much worse.

During the long years I was with him (he was Asian), I spent a lot of time within his community, and I saw couple after couple locked in this "normalized" dysfunction where men did whatever they wanted, no matter what harm it did to their wives and kids, and women blamed themselves and each other and totally excused and enabled the men.

There are always exceptions. Glad your Saudi Arab husband is one. Just don't kid yourself about cultural influences.

Anonymous wrote:
Hey, she said she's 100% cool with their arrangement. Back off. Everyone is entitled to their own view of marriage, the conditions that want/allow/choose.

His unkindness and lack of compassion, that's not part of the deal.

She said she is cool with the arrangement, but isn't he upset about the energy bars because she is suppose to to 100% of the shopping? So, the arrangement seems to not be working now, as he's not flexible wrt her part of the arrangement.

Anonymous wrote:Yes, I've been there too. I thought he'd get it, grow up, see that I was doing everything and he needed to pitch in. He had grown up in a culture where women do everything and take all blame, and he acted like a visiting emperor at home. So there I was, with three kids, a job, totally doing all childcare and household stuff, and he would throw trash on the floor rather than take out the full trash can, and throw tantrums about everything and whine that I didn't give him enough attention. You know that's where you're headed, and you need to stop that train now before it goes any farther. It gets horribly hard when kids enter the picture.

The culture excuse is such bullshit, I'm married to a Saudi Arab for ffs, and the man is a wizard with full trashcans, babies with soiled diapers, dirty dishes and all man chores on top of that. I guarantee you anything that somewhere in that country or culture men are taking out the trash even as I type this. Don't blame the culture for indulgent upbringings or individual assholery.

Anonymous wrote:Yes, I've been there too. I thought he'd get it, grow up, see that I was doing everything and he needed to pitch in. He had grown up in a culture where women do everything and take all blame, and he acted like a visiting emperor at home. So there I was, with three kids, a job, totally doing all childcare and household stuff, and he would throw trash on the floor rather than take out the full trash can, and throw tantrums about everything and whine that I didn't give him enough attention. You know that's where you're headed, and you need to stop that train now before it goes any farther. It gets horribly hard when kids enter the picture.

OMG that is my ex too! Is yours Ecuadorian? Mine was. Emperor indeed.

OMG, he's a dick. Please don't have kids with this man. Imagine being post partum and dealing with this ass. NO THANK. I'd rather pay my own bills.

Anonymous wrote:I wish op would come back and update.

x2

I wish op would come back and update.

So have you murdered him yet? Or at least packed his bags and put them on the front porch. No one should treat you like that, especially the one person who should be in your corner the most.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:SMH...how do you women get involved with such losers?

The same traits displayed by her husband are actually quite attractive to women normally. I'm sure if you asked OP if her husband was an alpha, she would say yes.

Only in your wet dreams.

Anonymous wrote:He can make his own damn dinner.

Even when you're healthy, why do you put up with this?

Read her post. It doesn't found like she "put up" with it.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:SMH...how do you women get involved with such losers?

The same traits displayed by her husband are actually quite attractive to women normally. I'm sure if you asked OP if her husband was an alpha, she would say yes.

Not an alpha; a narcissist. Read up on marriages to narcissists. It is not pretty.

Echoing others - my ex also pulled the I-make-more and this do nothing around the house. As well as "you get sick too often." Only I had a child with that man. I dumped him and have never been happier. I wouldn't even try counseling. Just get divorced. Having kids with him would be a nightmare from my experience.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:SMH...how do you women get involved with such losers?

The same traits displayed by her husband are actually quite attractive to women normally. I'm sure if you asked OP if her husband was an alpha, she would say yes.

I guess some women find men that are assholes and have money/power attractive, but not just general asshole-ness, no.

Also, some people, women included, change after they get married, and especially after kids come along.

Yes, my husband can be quite an asshole but is poor is a mouse. I was young, naive and pregnant when I married him. I'm great at my job but evidently not at picking men, I admit.

The same traits displayed by her husband are actually quite attractive to women normally. I'm sure if you asked OP if her husband was an alpha, she would say yes.

Excuse me but BULLSHIT. I married an alpha and in no way shape or form does he treat me like OP is treated. When I'm sick, he moves heaven and earth to help me.

What OP has is a selfish dick headed husband not unlike 90% of the women posting here on any given day. Beta Men. A REAL man takes care of his wife.

PERIOD.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:SMH...how do you women get involved with such losers?

The same traits displayed by her husband are actually quite attractive to women normally. I'm sure if you asked OP if her husband was an alpha, she would say yes.

I guess some women find men that are assholes and have money/power attractive, but not just general asshole-ness, no.

Also, some people, women included, change after they get married, and especially after kids come along.