Anonymous wrote:Dress codes even school ones exist because people continue to dress in a overly sexy, or slovenly, just generally inappropriate manner for the situation they are in. My DS's school has regulations on boy's hair length and a ban on facial hair. There are also regs on jewelry, no shorts period, girls can wear pants or skirts that touch the knees. All shirts must be plain and have sleeves that hit the middle of the bicep on boys and girls.

School is for learning, it's not a fashion show.

Is this a public school?

Dress codes even school ones exist because people continue to dress in a overly sexy, or slovenly, just generally inappropriate manner for the situation they are in. My DS's school has regulations on boy's hair length and a ban on facial hair. There are also regs on jewelry, no shorts period, girls can wear pants or skirts that touch the knees. All shirts must be plain and have sleeves that hit the middle of the bicep on boys and girls.

School is for learning, it's not a fashion show.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:In many places, the explanation for such a rule is that the girls' manner of dress distracts the boys. I was told this point blank many times in high school...it was my responsibility to not wear spaghetti straps, shorts, leggings, etc because the boys can't help it. While yours seems to apply this to boys and girls, most dress codes are targeted at girls. This is dangerous, IMO, and contributes to the overall idea that boys are animals and it is my responsibility as a woman to dress in a way that doesn't provoke boys. Not to mention, I spent a lot of time out of the classroom getting my shorts measured.

My sixth-grade daughter got this speech just the other week. The teachers pulled the girls out of PE to tell them that boys view girls in skimpy clothing as cuts of meat instead of people, and so the girls shouldn't wear skimpy clothing.

OMG. I don't want to be smug, but... reason n. 457 to be happy I am able to homeschool. My daughter will never hear that kind of baloney during her education time.

I'm the PP with the sixth-grade daughter. I'd be happiest if such baloney didn't even exist. But unfortunately it does exist. So learning about it is also part of her education, and so is deciding whether, when, and how to respond to it.

I've written about this in another thread, but I agree that this seems to be very common. I only have a kindergarden aged girl, but we were sitting in the school library after school one day and overheard a 10th grade class meeting. Our school has a very reasonable, gender neutral dress code. Sleeves are neccesary. No holes or torn clothing. No writing or graphics other than a logo. No athletic shorts. Nothing short or low enough to reveal areas normally covered by underwear.... I think that's about it.

Still, the 10th grade advisor made a point of how the infractions of the female students involved outfits that were making the male students and teachers uncomfortable and that no one wanted to see their cleavedge and bums. (To quote). SHe spend about 1/4 of the time discussing the boy's infractions, which were problematic because the boys were role models and the middle school boys would be more likely to break code if the high schoolers were. I've never even thought about this distinction before, and I was apalled by the end of the meeting.

Yup. Uniforms. Why doesn't everyone do it?

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:In many places, the explanation for such a rule is that the girls' manner of dress distracts the boys. I was told this point blank many times in high school...it was my responsibility to not wear spaghetti straps, shorts, leggings, etc because the boys can't help it. While yours seems to apply this to boys and girls, most dress codes are targeted at girls. This is dangerous, IMO, and contributes to the overall idea that boys are animals and it is my responsibility as a woman to dress in a way that doesn't provoke boys. Not to mention, I spent a lot of time out of the classroom getting my shorts measured.

My sixth-grade daughter got this speech just the other week. The teachers pulled the girls out of PE to tell them that boys view girls in skimpy clothing as cuts of meat instead of people, and so the girls shouldn't wear skimpy clothing.

OMG. I don't want to be smug, but... reason n. 457 to be happy I am able to homeschool. My daughter will never hear that kind of baloney during her education time.

I'm the PP with the sixth-grade daughter. I'd be happiest if such baloney didn't even exist. But unfortunately it does exist. So learning about it is also part of her education, and so is deciding whether, when, and how to respond to it.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:The argument is that focusing on clothing items like that highlights that there are certain ways that young ladies should dress in order not to get unwanted attention. E.g. ...

Or, in simpler form, it makes the girls responsible for the boys' behavior. Like this:

Problem: boys misbehaving. Solution: make (and enforce) rules about girls' clothing.

Whereas it should be like this:

Problem: boys misbehaving. Solution: make (and enforce) rules about boys' misbehavior.

Yeah, but seriously. You wear appropriate clothes at appropriate places, not because men/boys are animals.

Boys are not animals. Girls should wear appropriate clothes.

+1,000

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:In many places, the explanation for such a rule is that the girls' manner of dress distracts the boys. I was told this point blank many times in high school...it was my responsibility to not wear spaghetti straps, shorts, leggings, etc because the boys can't help it. While yours seems to apply this to boys and girls, most dress codes are targeted at girls. This is dangerous, IMO, and contributes to the overall idea that boys are animals and it is my responsibility as a woman to dress in a way that doesn't provoke boys. Not to mention, I spent a lot of time out of the classroom getting my shorts measured.

My sixth-grade daughter got this speech just the other week. The teachers pulled the girls out of PE to tell them that boys view girls in skimpy clothing as cuts of meat instead of people, and so the girls shouldn't wear skimpy clothing.

OMG. I don't want to be smug, but... reason n. 457 to be happy I am able to homeschool. My daughter will never hear that kind of baloney during her education time.

Anonymous wrote:Nothing. Those girls are being silly.

I'm with ya. Those shorts don't belong in a school environment. It is disrespectful to those who teach and those who learn to treat school like a party.

As for OPs question. Just state there is a long hisorty of blaming girls and women for inducing the bad behavior of men. He should know that it is wrong to treat girls in such clothing badly, he is responsible for his own behavior, and we are allowed to protest here. Are you looking for him to understand your position, OP? Or are you looking for him to embrace it?

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Oh, are there many boys who wear booty shorts in DS's high school?

Also, I don't suppose that the dress code defines "booty shorts"?

They can't be above finger tip length.

Anything shorter than finger-tip length is "booty shorts"? I'm laughing at this, and I haven't been a 15-year-old girl in 30 years.

But it is the school's rules. Either follow it or go to another school.

I am personally a big fan of school uniforms.

School rules were not written on stone tablets on Mt. Sinai. It is possible to change them.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:It's not even about people not wanting to see it. I have daughters and I don't care how long legged and cute they are; they are NEVER wearing tiny shorts to school on my watch. Things like that are the difference between kids with a good upbringing and kids who weren't brought up well. Do I want my adult daughters showing up to work in a skimpy sundress or attending a black tie event in casual clothing? No. That kind of education begins when they are young; it's teaching them how to properly present themselves in social situations. They can wear a bikini to the pool and play clothes when they're playing but they will know how to dress appropriately when it is required- and yes, it is required for school, which is an environment that deserves respect. If you don't instill in your kids things like this, you really do them a disservice. And it does reflect poorly on you as a parent.

+1,000,000

I agree but then again, they are being raised by moms who wear yoga pants 90% of the time, even at school functions.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Oh, are there many boys who wear booty shorts in DS's high school?

Also, I don't suppose that the dress code defines "booty shorts"?

They can't be above finger tip length.

Anything shorter than finger-tip length is "booty shorts"? I'm laughing at this, and I haven't been a 15-year-old girl in 30 years.

But it is the school's rules. Either follow it or go to another school.

I am personally a big fan of school uniforms.