Children expecting to get something when going to someone's birthday is a trend that needs to be stopped. A birthday party is ALL about the birthday child. Children going to someone's birthday should go there to celebrate the fact that that person is alive and they are friends. They should go there thinking "How can I make this day special for my friend?" The birthday child is the one who gets presents. Not everyone else. Way to go OP, I wish we could be friends. No more goodie bag birthdays!!!

Anonymous wrote:Grandma here so I have time to do fun stuff. its great to make something at the party ( make cut-out cookies, jewelry or paper airplanes) that the kids can take home instead of goodie bags. I also like to make goodie bags with themes: insects, or things that make noise or art supplies. I know this is expensive, so I do it only it once a year rotating grandkids (I have seven). A lot of my grand kids' friends who are now older hug me when they see me and ask to make cookies, etc. Its fun.

That sounds adorable.

Anonymous wrote:Does anyone still give the goody bags?! Not me or my friends!!!

We don't either.

Anonymous wrote:Does anyone still give the goody bags?! Not me or my friends!!!

Apparently they do. You might step out of your bubble for a minute.

Does anyone still give the goody bags?! Not me or my friends!!!

Grandma here so I have time to do fun stuff. its great to make something at the party ( make cut-out cookies, jewelry or paper airplanes) that the kids can take home instead of goodie bags. I also like to make goodie bags with themes: insects, or things that make noise or art supplies. I know this is expensive, so I do it only it once a year rotating grandkids (I have seven). A lot of my grand kids' friends who are now older hug me when they see me and ask to make cookies, etc. Its fun.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I've never heard of goody bags before moving to the U.S. and for the life of me, I don't understand the logic in this tradition. You get invited to the party, get free food and drinks, games, time with friends, a chance to have some fun, AND you need a present for coming? I don't get it. Kids are not Oscar winners, they don't need to leave with goody bags. I've never received anything in a goody bag worth keeping, and we've never done goody bags for the few parties we've thrown because I refuse to feed this ridiculous habit. A party is gift enough for the invitees.

They're not new, and weren't invited in DC. We had them when I was growing up. They're a customary part of birthday parties.

Are you saying that goody bags are the only difference in culture between the US and the country you came from?

We didn't have them when I was growing up (in the US). They are not customary everywhere. And it's not rude not to have them.

Does it sound more respectable to call them party favors? You had never encountered party favors or goodie bags until moving to DC?

An old-school party favor is going to a home party and have a cone hat and a blow toy to use while you sing happy birthday. I never went home with a bag of things to a party I was invited to

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Goody bags are the worst, and if I had a child who expressed disappointment at the lack of one after having two hours of fun at a party to which someone else was kind enough to invite them, I'd feel like a failure as a parent.

They had better keep any emotions buttoned up. Mommy doesn't want to hear it.

They can express it all they want, and they'll be told to get over it. Not every emotion has to be indulged. It's not my job to give my child a disappointment-free life.

It's a little like vaccinations, though. You not providing gift bags has no effect on YOUR child since your birthday kid gets presents.

Parents who don't want them should start telling the host beforehand so they don't make one for you and then you should manage your own kid's emotions. Put your own kid's disappointment where your mouth is for a year before you lecture anyone else.

Only on DCUM.

+1
I am going to ask my pediatrician about this tomorrow. LOL

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I've never heard of goody bags before moving to the U.S. and for the life of me, I don't understand the logic in this tradition. You get invited to the party, get free food and drinks, games, time with friends, a chance to have some fun, AND you need a present for coming? I don't get it. Kids are not Oscar winners, they don't need to leave with goody bags. I've never received anything in a goody bag worth keeping, and we've never done goody bags for the few parties we've thrown because I refuse to feed this ridiculous habit. A party is gift enough for the invitees.

They're not new, and weren't invited in DC. We had them when I was growing up. They're a customary part of birthday parties.

Are you saying that goody bags are the only difference in culture between the US and the country you came from?

We didn't have them when I was growing up (in the US). They are not customary everywhere. And it's not rude not to have them.

Does it sound more respectable to call them party favors? You had never encountered party favors or goodie bags until moving to DC?

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I've never heard of goody bags before moving to the U.S. and for the life of me, I don't understand the logic in this tradition. You get invited to the party, get free food and drinks, games, time with friends, a chance to have some fun, AND you need a present for coming? I don't get it. Kids are not Oscar winners, they don't need to leave with goody bags. I've never received anything in a goody bag worth keeping, and we've never done goody bags for the few parties we've thrown because I refuse to feed this ridiculous habit. A party is gift enough for the invitees.

They're not new, and weren't invited in DC. We had them when I was growing up. They're a customary part of birthday parties.

Are you saying that goody bags are the only difference in culture between the US and the country you came from?

We didn't have them when I was growing up (in the US). They are not customary everywhere. And it's not rude not to have them.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Goody bags are the worst, and if I had a child who expressed disappointment at the lack of one after having two hours of fun at a party to which someone else was kind enough to invite them, I'd feel like a failure as a parent.

They had better keep any emotions buttoned up. Mommy doesn't want to hear it.

They can express it all they want, and they'll be told to get over it. Not every emotion has to be indulged. It's not my job to give my child a disappointment-free life.

It's a little like vaccinations, though. You not providing gift bags has no effect on YOUR child since your birthday kid gets presents.

Parents who don't want them should start telling the host beforehand so they don't make one for you and then you should manage your own kid's emotions. Put your own kid's disappointment where your mouth is for a year before you lecture anyone else.

Does your kid REALLY need comforting and hand-holding on account of no goody bag? Really?

I am PP who wrote yesterday that my daughter said goody bags are #2 things she loves about parties and also the sort of dumb and misconstruable vaccination quote. I was sort of hangry all day. Of course goody bags are not really anywhere near as important as vaccinations! I just meant that when you "opt out" of doing them the effect is really on the kids around you.

My kid is mature enough to deal with not getting a treat bag, and I honestly understand the desire not to contribute to the industrial plastic crap complex. It's fine. From my perspective, when I host, I just want to make the kids happy without over-sugaring them. But it's fine, you do you. My heart will go on!

Anonymous wrote:So all you parents who don't believe in giving kids a goody bag full of cheap plastic crap from China, you also tell all the people you invited "no gifts", right? Because when they give your kid a gift, that's just more cheap plastic crap from China that's going to clutter up your house. And poison them with toxic fumes, and stuff.

And no doubt all your kids toys are hand-made by American artisans, too, right? Because you care too much to buy your children cheap plastic crap from China?

Ha. I read your snark, and I appreciate its intended humor(ish), but I'll respond to you straight up.

My DD recently had her 4th party. We invited *everyone* because that's how I grew up. We don't leave anyone off the list. So 23 kids RSVPed yes, with possibly some siblings coming along, too. So:

1. My DD does not need 23 gifts on top of whatever grandparents and aunties and uncles send in the mail. That's a life of incredible indulgence--please, just come and enjoy the party!

2. We will not open the gifts at the party, due to there being 23+ gifts, that would take WAY too long.

3. My husband will in all likelihood be responsible for overseeing gift-opening. He refuses to document who gave what--he things it's stupid to write thank your cards, and there's nothing I can do to change this. Also, because I'm the one who puts myself out for the party (cleaning, decorating, cakes, invitations, clean up, etc) there's no way I'm going to also monitor gift opening and manage writing and sending 23 thank you cards, too. No. But I hate not sending thank you cards in the event of receiving a gift. Please, I don't want to do it, and I cannot do it under these constraints. No gifts, good lord, please, no gifts.

4. If you bring a gift despite the "no gifts please" request, we will OF COURSE not refuse it and OF COURSE you'll get a big fat genuine smile and thank you at the time of receipt! My DD loves presents! But there's no way you're going to get a thank you card (see #3 above).

5. When my floor is cluttered with all the stuff my little kids cannot reasonably and mostly manage on their own, I observe that they have too much. I throw or give it away. I can't dwell on this for too long. The three board games she got from kids the last time all got chucked because they were all over the place, all mixed up, and I wasn't going to spend two hours resorting them, finding lost pieces, or anything like that. We have what we can manage. Period.

The strong feelings about goody bags always make me chuckle. DS loves them and we love making them.
I admit I am not a fan of the cheap plastic crap but I am not 6. DS got one of those noise maker things (the ones that uncurl when you blow them) about a year ago. I hid it (thought I threw it out actually) and he found it the other day. Now he asks if he can blow it once a day. I let him and we move on. We got a pencil, a cup, tattoos and small figure at a recent party, and a puzzle at another. DS enjoys these things.

There are so many bigger things to worry about than goody bags or lack of goody bag.

Anonymous wrote:My son is having a b-day party this weekend at Chuck E. Cheese's (his choice) and I am NOT doing any G-D goody bags. I know kids expect them now, and I may look like a miserly mom, but I have had it with little bags full of crap. I figure that the kids will get enough tickets to buy some piece of junk from the CEC store, and they are getting free pizza, cake, and all the over-stimulation they could ask for. I'm rebelling against the machine (at least a little bit)!

Don't do them. They are unnecessary. We've never done it and DS doesn't want for friends.