Anonymous
02/10/2015 16:28
Subject: Re:I slept with another man and am consumed with guilt
Anonymous wrote:if DH did this, and truly regretted it, and it prevented him from doing it again, I would rather not know because I think it would cause pretty bad problems in the marriage that we just don't need. If it was chronic, that's a different story.
Agree. I did this and never told my wife. It was years ago and I have no desire to to it again.
Anonymous
02/10/2015 16:26
Subject: I slept with another man and am consumed with guilt
dcguy wrote:Anonymous wrote:Currently on a business trip overseas. Last night I got incredibly drunk and slept with a colleague. He is a foreign affiliate and I only see him twice a year. I do not have feelings for him. I was drunk and caught up in the moment. I have never ever cheated on my husband and I am just so devastated. I don't know what to do. Should I call my husband? I feel so sick over this. My husband is a good man and we have a good marriage. I would do anything to take it back. Has anyone been through anything similar? Can anyone offer me advice? Please help.
The advice you've received not to tell will only work if you are not consumed by guilt. If your relationship with DH is as good as you say it is, then the guilt will be that much worse. Regardless of how hard you try, the guilt will change your behavior. DH will sense it and things will unravel. If you really love him, trust him and want to be true to the marriage, then tell him when you get home. (and then leave this message board forever!)
On the other hand: Are there are some underlying reasons why you let yourself get drunk with a male co-worker that you found attractive enough to sleep with while you were staying at a hotel? When women cheat, there is usually some built up resentment and alienation that drives them to do so. Ironically, if this is the case for you you are more likely to be able to keep your secret as your resentment will allow you to justify the deceit. In the meantime, you should work on whatever underlying issues are there and your marriage may come out stronger in the end. (and then welcome to this message board forever!)
Only you know which category you fall into. Make sure you are honest with yourself so you can act accordingly.
+1
Anonymous
02/10/2015 16:23
Subject: Re:I slept with another man and am consumed with guilt
if DH did this, and truly regretted it, and it prevented him from doing it again, I would rather not know because I think it would cause pretty bad problems in the marriage that we just don't need. If it was chronic, that's a different story.
Anonymous
02/10/2015 16:23
Subject: Re:I slept with another man and am consumed with guilt
It sounds like the beginnings of a drinking problem. Go home and get evaluated, and decide when you want to tell your husband.
Anonymous
02/10/2015 16:14
Subject: Re:I slept with another man and am consumed with guilt
Anonymous wrote:Anonymous wrote:You should tell your husband because if he finds out, that loving marriage you think you have is OVER !
Quit blaming the drink. I could consume 5 bottles of wine, get drunk out of my mind and not part my legs for a stranger. You intended it to happen.
BTW, you do realize when you blame stranger sex on being intoxicated it is considered rape.
You are crazy.
BTW, you do realize that having stranger sex with a crazy person is considered rape.
Anonymous
02/10/2015 16:11
Subject: I slept with another man and am consumed with guilt
DO NOT TELL. If you are committed to never doing it again, and if there is no possibility your husband will find out some other sources, DO NOT TELL.
Yes, you feel disgusting right now, but no feelings last. In a few weeks, you'll forget all about it and live happily ever after. Telling accomplishes nothing, absolutely nothing. It will probably blow up your life as you know it forever. DO NOT TELL.
Also,
Do not act any differently. And
DO NOT, for chrissakes, DO NOT create any track of evidence of this. No texts, no emails, no voicemails, nothing from your hookup guy. If he communicates with you, do not pick up, delete all emails and texts, LEAVE NO TRACE.
Yes, you feel disgusting right now, but no feelings last. In a few weeks, you'll forget all about it and live happily ever after. Telling accomplishes nothing, absolutely nothing. It will probably blow up your life as you know it forever. DO NOT TELL.
Also,
Do not act any differently. And
DO NOT, for chrissakes, DO NOT create any track of evidence of this. No texts, no emails, no voicemails, nothing from your hookup guy. If he communicates with you, do not pick up, delete all emails and texts, LEAVE NO TRACE.
Anonymous
02/10/2015 16:05
Subject: Re:I slept with another man and am consumed with guilt
When my boyfriend, now DH, and I were on a *break*, I slept with a co-worker - this was in 2004- after a night of partying. Not too long afterwards, we reconciled. My co-worker would have liked it to go further, as he was from out of town and would come to DC a couple times a month, but I had no interest. He was married but had wanted out for quite awhile, and is now divorced and has a girlfriend. We both still work for the same company and have never told a soul.
I told my other half not too long after it happened because he suspected, but since we were on a break, he never held it over me. That was the last break up, and we've been married since '06. Have no interest in other men.
Op - if you don't think your co-worker will cause problems, learn to live with it and keep your secret to yourself. Never ever do this again!!!!!!
I told my other half not too long after it happened because he suspected, but since we were on a break, he never held it over me. That was the last break up, and we've been married since '06. Have no interest in other men.
Op - if you don't think your co-worker will cause problems, learn to live with it and keep your secret to yourself. Never ever do this again!!!!!!
Anonymous
02/10/2015 16:02
Subject: I slept with another man and am consumed with guilt
Anonymous wrote:dcguy wrote:Anonymous wrote:Currently on a business trip overseas. Last night I got incredibly drunk and slept with a colleague. He is a foreign affiliate and I only see him twice a year. I do not have feelings for him. I was drunk and caught up in the moment. I have never ever cheated on my husband and I am just so devastated. I don't know what to do. Should I call my husband? I feel so sick over this. My husband is a good man and we have a good marriage. I would do anything to take it back. Has anyone been through anything similar? Can anyone offer me advice? Please help.
The advice you've received not to tell will only work if you are not consumed by guilt. If your relationship with DH is as good as you say it is, then the guilt will be that much worse. Regardless of how hard you try, the guilt will change your behavior. DH will sense it and things will unravel. If you really love him, trust him and want to be true to the marriage, then tell him when you get home. (and then leave this message board forever!)
On the other hand: Are there are some underlying reasons why you let yourself get drunk with a male co-worker that you found attractive enough to sleep with while you were staying at a hotel? When women cheat, there is usually some built up resentment and alienation that drives them to do so. Ironically, if this is the case for you you are more likely to be able to keep your secret as your resentment will allow you to justify the deceit. In the meantime, you should work on whatever underlying issues are there and your marriage may come out stronger in the end. (and then welcome to this message board forever!)
Only you know which category you fall into. Make sure you are honest with yourself so you can act accordingly.
don't listen to this moron.
Who would? If I wanted to read a book I'd grab my kindle.
Anonymous
02/10/2015 16:01
Subject: I slept with another man and am consumed with guilt
dcguy wrote:Anonymous wrote:Currently on a business trip overseas. Last night I got incredibly drunk and slept with a colleague. He is a foreign affiliate and I only see him twice a year. I do not have feelings for him. I was drunk and caught up in the moment. I have never ever cheated on my husband and I am just so devastated. I don't know what to do. Should I call my husband? I feel so sick over this. My husband is a good man and we have a good marriage. I would do anything to take it back. Has anyone been through anything similar? Can anyone offer me advice? Please help.
The advice you've received not to tell will only work if you are not consumed by guilt. If your relationship with DH is as good as you say it is, then the guilt will be that much worse. Regardless of how hard you try, the guilt will change your behavior. DH will sense it and things will unravel. If you really love him, trust him and want to be true to the marriage, then tell him when you get home. (and then leave this message board forever!)
On the other hand: Are there are some underlying reasons why you let yourself get drunk with a male co-worker that you found attractive enough to sleep with while you were staying at a hotel? When women cheat, there is usually some built up resentment and alienation that drives them to do so. Ironically, if this is the case for you you are more likely to be able to keep your secret as your resentment will allow you to justify the deceit. In the meantime, you should work on whatever underlying issues are there and your marriage may come out stronger in the end. (and then welcome to this message board forever!)
Only you know which category you fall into. Make sure you are honest with yourself so you can act accordingly.
don't listen to this moron.
Anonymous
02/10/2015 15:47
Subject: I slept with another man and am consumed with guilt
If my wife did this and confessed, I would demand an open marriage or be gone.
Anonymous
02/10/2015 15:46
Subject: I slept with another man and am consumed with guilt
Anonymous wrote:Has OP even responded back? Why did she do it in the first place? What sucks for me is seeing posts where other women did the same thing and then wondering what my wife does on business trips. I try to be a good husband but are these trips really just sexual free for alls? Now I'm paranoid.
She responded a few times.
As with most things on this website, you really only need to read page one and two. Anything after that is just a train wreck of bitches mud wrestling each other.
Anonymous
02/10/2015 15:45
Subject: Re:I slept with another man and am consumed with guilt
Make confession to God and to The
priest , but go church nobady knows you, you will much better.don't Telles your husBand,you will destroid your marriged
priest , but go church nobady knows you, you will much better.don't Telles your husBand,you will destroid your marriged
Anonymous
02/10/2015 15:43
Subject: I slept with another man and am consumed with guilt
Anonymous wrote:Has OP even responded back? Why did she do it in the first place? What sucks for me is seeing posts where other women did the same thing and then wondering what my wife does on business trips. I try to be a good husband but are these trips really just sexual free for alls? Now I'm paranoid.
Ha, no. I travel frequently for work (education policy) and never have had any interest or opportunity. I do think there is a culture of convention hook-ups in some professions.
Anonymous
02/10/2015 15:40
Subject: I slept with another man and am consumed with guilt
Has OP even responded back? Why did she do it in the first place? What sucks for me is seeing posts where other women did the same thing and then wondering what my wife does on business trips. I try to be a good husband but are these trips really just sexual free for alls? Now I'm paranoid.
Anonymous
02/10/2015 15:34
Subject: Re:I slept with another man and am consumed with guilt
Anonymous wrote:I've done it. I didn't tell my man. I didn't feel guilty. It didn't affect my lust for or my love for my man. I had forgotten how good it felt to seduce a stranger and just walk away in the night with a smile on my face.
Hot and of course because you are a woman you can get laid any time you want.