Anonymous wrote:Our finances are the same as when before I SAH. We each spend what we want, it's our money, and we don't bring it up with each other unless it's a big ticket item, like a car, or a computer.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:About to leave the work force to raise DS full time. Just had an interesting convo w husband. He wants to cancel cable. I want to find a lower cost cable package. He says "well I'm not paying for it". I'm currently working and could pay for it but the discussion freaked me out. I told him I need a monthly allowance once I quit so I have some discretionary income of my own. What are some things you stay at home spouses do that work for you?

Hi op I will say do not do it,but read my story. I stayed home not by choice but by circumstance. I have a child who has delays and asd. I spend my days chasing insurance calling doctors finding therapists doing laundry taking care of the kids but do I get a thanks?

no all I hear when he returns from a long day at work (10 hours plus) is how I have not worked in xyz years. Mind you I am highly educated and still get recruiter calls daily for jobs; in all of this I am up at night doing my little entrepreneurial bit (I do not get allowance) when i married I had 30k saved up (its all gone now). I do not have access to accounts because in his words I have not WORKED. So I say this to you, unless there is an agreement about allowance, you will need your own way to earn a living. Right now my husband considers the income he makes as HIS MONEY.

Anonymous wrote:Allowance? Do you really want to revert back to childhood? Will your DH dole it out based on the chores you've completed on your chore chart? This idea is very disturbing for an adult-adult relationship.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:
I find it pathetic when people refer to themselves as the "CEO/CFO" of the home economy. It is disrespectful and insulting to people who hold a f/t position outside of the home while juggling parenthood.

Well, you are not juggling parenthood. You are paying someone to take care of your kids and you get to spend the least amount of time with your child. You are a part time parent at best. Yes, you are a working woman who brings in a paycheck - but you are not a full time parent. And even when you are present, you are tired and distracted and not giving 100% to your child.

In a household that does not require the paycheck, your contribution is that of a part time parent. In a two parent household, one parent will always be unavailable for the duration of the work day. For the children to not have both the parents is not optimal. However, good child care providers fill in the role of the SAHP in raising the kids. So, go an thank the nanny and day care provider for stepping in an being a parent to your kid in the time that you are not.

Your saying that you are juggling parenthood is disrespectful and insulting to parents who stay with their kids and raise them.

By your logic (weak as it is) any parent with a child in school is a "part time parent." So I guess it's your turn to buck up and go thank your child's teacher for stepping in and being a parent in the time that you are not. You do SAHPs no favors with kind of embarrassing bullshit.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:
I find it pathetic when people refer to themselves as the "CEO/CFO" of the home economy. It is disrespectful and insulting to people who hold a f/t position outside of the home while juggling parenthood.

Well, you are not juggling parenthood. You are paying someone to take care of your kids and you get to spend the least amount of time with your child. You are a part time parent at best. Yes, you are a working woman who brings in a paycheck - but you are not a full time parent. And even when you are present, you are tired and distracted and not giving 100% to your child.

In a household that does not require the paycheck, your contribution is that of a part time parent. In a two parent household, one parent will always be unavailable for the duration of the work day. For the children to not have both the parents is not optimal. However, good child care providers fill in the role of the SAHP in raising the kids. So, go an thank the nanny and day care provider for stepping in an being a parent to your kid in the time that you are not.

Your saying that you are juggling parenthood is disrespectful and insulting to parents who stay with their kids and raise them.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I think many WOHMs cannot handle spending time with their kids 24/7. But it is ok. Since humans are not in danger of extinction there is no need for everyone to procreate. I had a whole bunch of high ranking women executives in my previous place of employment and none of them had biological kids. Most of them were second wives and were weekend stepmoms to their husband's kids. They were very happy and successful.

Put down the wine. You are babbling.

Well, truth is uncomfortable, but embrace it and your life becomes easier.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:
I find it pathetic when people refer to themselves as the "CEO/CFO" of the home economy. It is disrespectful and insulting to people who hold a f/t position outside of the home while juggling parenthood.

Well, you are not juggling parenthood. You are paying someone to take care of your kids and you get to spend the least amount of time with your child. You are a part time parent at best. Yes, you are a working woman who brings in a paycheck - but you are not a full time parent. And even when you are present, you are tired and distracted and not giving 100% to your child.

In a household that does not require the paycheck, your contribution is that of a part time parent. In a two parent household, one parent will always be unavailable for the duration of the work day. For the children to not have both the parents is not optimal. However, good child care providers fill in the role of the SAHP in raising the kids. So, go an thank the nanny and day care provider for stepping in an being a parent to your kid in the time that you are not.

Your saying that you are juggling parenthood is disrespectful and insulting to parents who stay with their kids and raise them.

Okaay, how much is your allowance?

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote: "You are a part time parent at best. Yes, you are a working woman who brings in a paycheck - but you are not a full time parent. And even when you are present, you are tired and distracted and not giving 100% to your child."

Fathers who WOH are part time parents? Who knew?

Fathers depend on the mother of their children to raise them. At least those fathers who earn enough!

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:
I find it pathetic when people refer to themselves as the "CEO/CFO" of the home economy. It is disrespectful and insulting to people who hold a f/t position outside of the home while juggling parenthood.

Well, you are not juggling parenthood. You are paying someone to take care of your kids and you get to spend the least amount of time with your child. You are a part time parent at best. Yes, you are a working woman who brings in a paycheck - but you are not a full time parent. And even when you are present, you are tired and distracted and not giving 100% to your child.

In a household that does not require the paycheck, your contribution is that of a part time parent. In a two parent household, one parent will always be unavailable for the duration of the work day. For the children to not have both the parents is not optimal. However, good child care providers fill in the role of the SAHP in raising the kids. So, go an thank the nanny and day care provider for stepping in an being a parent to your kid in the time that you are not.

Your saying that you are juggling parenthood is disrespectful and insulting to parents who stay with their kids and raise them.

Anonymous wrote: "You are a part time parent at best. Yes, you are a working woman who brings in a paycheck - but you are not a full time parent. And even when you are present, you are tired and distracted and not giving 100% to your child."

Fathers who WOH are part time parents? Who knew?

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I think many WOHMs cannot handle spending time with their kids 24/7. But it is ok. Since humans are not in danger of extinction there is no need for everyone to procreate. I had a whole bunch of high ranking women executives in my previous place of employment and none of them had biological kids. Most of them were second wives and were weekend stepmoms to their husband's kids. They were very happy and successful.

Put down the wine. You are babbling.