Anonymous
Post 01/05/2015 16:14     Subject: Just got grief for bringing 5 yo DS into the women's locker room
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:

My kids started year round swimming at 5. That meant I waited for a family changing room if we were at a pool that had one or I held a towel up and changed them in a quietish corner or I threw a robe on them and drove them home if it was warm. I'm not a free range parent but I'm also not going to intrude on someone else's privacy. I would sometimes also use a women's restroom that wasn't a changing room to get them changed. Have I been boiling hot at a pool trying to hold up a towel and change my kid with sweat pouring off of me because I am not intruding on others and have a 5.5/6 year old. Yes. Is it miserable for a FEW MINUTES for me? Yes, but big deal. Knowing I have kids of different sexes, I knew I wouldn't want my kids uncomfortable with someone in the locker room of their designated sex. If I see you in the locker room with a kid who clearly doesn't belong there, I'm saying something to you.


It is a public locker room, "privacy" is rather relative here.

And just because you want to martyr yourself doesn't mean that others need to. A lot of pools allow kids of the opposite gender to accompany their parents into the locker room up through a certain age, 5 or 6 seems common.

I mean really can't you understand that what works for your family may not work for others for a variety of reasons - there could be lots of reasons people may not want to change their children poolside. The first too that come to mend are:
- parent also needs to change out of swimwear
- kid also needs to use the bathroom
And then I start to think of special needs many of which are not always obvious.



+1, most people do not realize my child has special needs nor is it something I announce.
Anonymous
Post 01/05/2015 14:56     Subject: Just got grief for bringing 5 yo DS into the women's locker room
Anonymous wrote:

My kids started year round swimming at 5. That meant I waited for a family changing room if we were at a pool that had one or I held a towel up and changed them in a quietish corner or I threw a robe on them and drove them home if it was warm. I'm not a free range parent but I'm also not going to intrude on someone else's privacy. I would sometimes also use a women's restroom that wasn't a changing room to get them changed. Have I been boiling hot at a pool trying to hold up a towel and change my kid with sweat pouring off of me because I am not intruding on others and have a 5.5/6 year old. Yes. Is it miserable for a FEW MINUTES for me? Yes, but big deal. Knowing I have kids of different sexes, I knew I wouldn't want my kids uncomfortable with someone in the locker room of their designated sex. If I see you in the locker room with a kid who clearly doesn't belong there, I'm saying something to you.


It is a public locker room, "privacy" is rather relative here.

And just because you want to martyr yourself doesn't mean that others need to. A lot of pools allow kids of the opposite gender to accompany their parents into the locker room up through a certain age, 5 or 6 seems common.

I mean really can't you understand that what works for your family may not work for others for a variety of reasons - there could be lots of reasons people may not want to change their children poolside. The first too that come to mend are:
- parent also needs to change out of swimwear
- kid also needs to use the bathroom
And then I start to think of special needs many of which are not always obvious.

Anonymous
Post 01/05/2015 14:46     Subject: Just got grief for bringing 5 yo DS into the women's locker room
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:It's amazing to me how many people on DCUM (quite reasonably) are very protective of their sons because of pedophiles on the playground, in extracurriculars, etc., but then demand that 6-year-olds be sent into LOCKER ROOMS alone. Unbelievable.


She can take him home with a robe on or change him in a non locker room, in a family changing room, or in the hallway with a towel around him. There are lots of alternatives.


Nice - and where should Mom change??? Today may have been unseasonably warm but doubt this will hold true, I know I don't want to go outside or get in my car in 30 degree weather with a wet bathing suit on even if under clothing.


As I mentioned, taking them to a NON locker room is another option..so the women's room. If your kid is big enough to bring discomfort to others and is old enough for kindergarten, he's too big for the women's locker room.


Do you understand not all pools are as plush as yours? There is one bathroom or locker room per gender. I have gotten stranger looks changing my son at four outside than bringing him in a locker room. He is in swim lessons year round. So, I bring him out soaking wet in 10-30 degree weather soaking his car seat and let him freeze. No. Get over it. A 5-6-7 year old is not ready to be alone. My child has delays and he needs help getting changed (hence the swim lessons for coordination). The county pool we go to is very very basic.


You aren't the only one with a son. I have one as well. I also have a daughter and am not bringing my kid into the locker room of the opposite sex once he is elementary school. You did it today, and it was close to 60 degrees so stop with the excuses. It makes my daughter and her swim teammates uncomfortable. Oh, and we swim year round as well. We just are more thoughtful of others'.


Good try. My child is not on a swim team so it absolutely was not us. I am not sure what you expect someone with a 5-6 year old to do. I am not changing him in public nor is he able to go into a restroom alone. To me you are not very thoughtful if you expect a five year old to go into a locker room alone, change and do why he needs to do and get out. Or, maybe you are one of those free range parents whose kids are running out of control in other people's yards, destroying property, screaming and being generally annoying as their parents do not feel a need to supervise them. Five-Six is way to young to be doing anything alone and it is neglect if they are.


My kids started year round swimming at 5. That meant I waited for a family changing room if we were at a pool that had one or I held a towel up and changed them in a quietish corner or I threw a robe on them and drove them home if it was warm. I'm not a free range parent but I'm also not going to intrude on someone else's privacy. I would sometimes also use a women's restroom that wasn't a changing room to get them changed. Have I been boiling hot at a pool trying to hold up a towel and change my kid with sweat pouring off of me because I am not intruding on others and have a 5.5/6 year old. Yes. Is it miserable for a FEW MINUTES for me? Yes, but big deal. Knowing I have kids of different sexes, I knew I wouldn't want my kids uncomfortable with someone in the locker room of their designated sex. If I see you in the locker room with a kid who clearly doesn't belong there, I'm saying something to you.


I think you do not get at most pools there is not a family bathroom. It is not ok to change a five year old in public. So the only option is to bring them in with you. If you said something to me you would be very unhappy with what I said back.
Anonymous
Post 01/05/2015 14:36     Subject: Just got grief for bringing 5 yo DS into the women's locker room
Wait- I thought when you're at the gym the mom can accompany the son in the men's bathroom. Am I wrong???
Anonymous
Post 01/05/2015 14:29     Subject: Just got grief for bringing 5 yo DS into the women's locker room
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:It's amazing to me how many people on DCUM (quite reasonably) are very protective of their sons because of pedophiles on the playground, in extracurriculars, etc., but then demand that 6-year-olds be sent into LOCKER ROOMS alone. Unbelievable.


She can take him home with a robe on or change him in a non locker room, in a family changing room, or in the hallway with a towel around him. There are lots of alternatives.


Nice - and where should Mom change??? Today may have been unseasonably warm but doubt this will hold true, I know I don't want to go outside or get in my car in 30 degree weather with a wet bathing suit on even if under clothing.


As I mentioned, taking them to a NON locker room is another option..so the women's room. If your kid is big enough to bring discomfort to others and is old enough for kindergarten, he's too big for the women's locker room.


Do you understand not all pools are as plush as yours? There is one bathroom or locker room per gender. I have gotten stranger looks changing my son at four outside than bringing him in a locker room. He is in swim lessons year round. So, I bring him out soaking wet in 10-30 degree weather soaking his car seat and let him freeze. No. Get over it. A 5-6-7 year old is not ready to be alone. My child has delays and he needs help getting changed (hence the swim lessons for coordination). The county pool we go to is very very basic.


You aren't the only one with a son. I have one as well. I also have a daughter and am not bringing my kid into the locker room of the opposite sex once he is elementary school. You did it today, and it was close to 60 degrees so stop with the excuses. It makes my daughter and her swim teammates uncomfortable. Oh, and we swim year round as well. We just are more thoughtful of others'.


Good try. My child is not on a swim team so it absolutely was not us. I am not sure what you expect someone with a 5-6 year old to do. I am not changing him in public nor is he able to go into a restroom alone. To me you are not very thoughtful if you expect a five year old to go into a locker room alone, change and do why he needs to do and get out. Or, maybe you are one of those free range parents whose kids are running out of control in other people's yards, destroying property, screaming and being generally annoying as their parents do not feel a need to supervise them. Five-Six is way to young to be doing anything alone and it is neglect if they are.


My kids started year round swimming at 5. That meant I waited for a family changing room if we were at a pool that had one or I held a towel up and changed them in a quietish corner or I threw a robe on them and drove them home if it was warm. I'm not a free range parent but I'm also not going to intrude on someone else's privacy. I would sometimes also use a women's restroom that wasn't a changing room to get them changed. Have I been boiling hot at a pool trying to hold up a towel and change my kid with sweat pouring off of me because I am not intruding on others and have a 5.5/6 year old. Yes. Is it miserable for a FEW MINUTES for me? Yes, but big deal. Knowing I have kids of different sexes, I knew I wouldn't want my kids uncomfortable with someone in the locker room of their designated sex. If I see you in the locker room with a kid who clearly doesn't belong there, I'm saying something to you.
Anonymous
Post 01/05/2015 12:01     Subject: Just got grief for bringing 5 yo DS into the women's locker room
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:You Americans, you are SO CRAZY PRUDISH.

What hang ups you are passing on to your kids if you would rather they are unsupervised among strangers than possibly see people semi naked for a few seconds? And what hang ups you clearly have if you think a 5 year old gives a toss what you look like naked.

Overheard by my husband in the men's locker room: Adult male to his approx. 7 year old "come on, just get changed, NO ONE HERE IS INTERESTED IN YOUR PENIS".

He's right. Get over yourselves people. And as for your kids feeling uncomfortable -- you taught them that behavior. They need to get over it too.

When I was 5, and 6 and 7, boys and girls changed for PE in our classroom together and it was COMPLETELY NORMAL and uneventful.


The problem with this rant is you presume the way you did things was normal and healthy. It wasn't.


This isn't a rant, just an observation. And yes, by pretty much all standards, it is both normal and healthy. You, my dear, are the one that has a warped sense of normality. Five, six and seven year olds are too young to be made to feel ashamed of their bodies. No, nobody is running around naked. they are quickly getting changed, often behind a towel and getting on their way. And, yes, most normal healthy people find it completely appropriate to do that in a changing room and not in a toilet (yuck!) or in public by the pool side (completely inappropriate).
Anonymous
Post 01/05/2015 11:57     Subject: Just got grief for bringing 5 yo DS into the women's locker room
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:You Americans, you are SO CRAZY PRUDISH.

What hang ups you are passing on to your kids if you would rather they are unsupervised among strangers than possibly see people semi naked for a few seconds? And what hang ups you clearly have if you think a 5 year old gives a toss what you look like naked.

Overheard by my husband in the men's locker room: Adult male to his approx. 7 year old "come on, just get changed, NO ONE HERE IS INTERESTED IN YOUR PENIS".

He's right. Get over yourselves people. And as for your kids feeling uncomfortable -- you taught them that behavior. They need to get over it too.

When I was 5, and 6 and 7, boys and girls changed for PE in our classroom together and it was COMPLETELY NORMAL and uneventful.


Lady, it doesn't matter what you think about our culture. We are in America. If you don't like it, you can leave and be naked and free in your home country.


It is not "our culture". It is the culture of some repressed prudish Americans.
Anonymous
Post 01/05/2015 11:49     Subject: Re:Just got grief for bringing 5 yo DS into the women's locker room
Suprised at the number of people concerned about 4-5-6-7 year olds boys in the locker room. I know when I change I do so quickly and discretely. Also I try not to look at others while they are changing. I teach my children to do the same in public lockers. Not sure what the big problem is.
Anonymous
Post 01/05/2015 10:58     Subject: Just got grief for bringing 5 yo DS into the women's locker room
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:How would you feel about a man taking a 5 year old girl into the men's locker room?


Dad here... I've done that... what about it?


+1 My dad took me into the mens room all the time. My mother would have killed him if he let me go alone into the women's.
Anonymous
Post 01/05/2015 10:57     Subject: Just got grief for bringing 5 yo DS into the women's locker room
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:It's amazing to me how many people on DCUM (quite reasonably) are very protective of their sons because of pedophiles on the playground, in extracurriculars, etc., but then demand that 6-year-olds be sent into LOCKER ROOMS alone. Unbelievable.


She can take him home with a robe on or change him in a non locker room, in a family changing room, or in the hallway with a towel around him. There are lots of alternatives.


Nice - and where should Mom change??? Today may have been unseasonably warm but doubt this will hold true, I know I don't want to go outside or get in my car in 30 degree weather with a wet bathing suit on even if under clothing.


As I mentioned, taking them to a NON locker room is another option..so the women's room. If your kid is big enough to bring discomfort to others and is old enough for kindergarten, he's too big for the women's locker room.


Do you understand not all pools are as plush as yours? There is one bathroom or locker room per gender. I have gotten stranger looks changing my son at four outside than bringing him in a locker room. He is in swim lessons year round. So, I bring him out soaking wet in 10-30 degree weather soaking his car seat and let him freeze. No. Get over it. A 5-6-7 year old is not ready to be alone. My child has delays and he needs help getting changed (hence the swim lessons for coordination). The county pool we go to is very very basic.


You aren't the only one with a son. I have one as well. I also have a daughter and am not bringing my kid into the locker room of the opposite sex once he is elementary school. You did it today, and it was close to 60 degrees so stop with the excuses. It makes my daughter and her swim teammates uncomfortable. Oh, and we swim year round as well. We just are more thoughtful of others'.


Good try. My child is not on a swim team so it absolutely was not us. I am not sure what you expect someone with a 5-6 year old to do. I am not changing him in public nor is he able to go into a restroom alone. To me you are not very thoughtful if you expect a five year old to go into a locker room alone, change and do why he needs to do and get out. Or, maybe you are one of those free range parents whose kids are running out of control in other people's yards, destroying property, screaming and being generally annoying as their parents do not feel a need to supervise them. Five-Six is way to young to be doing anything alone and it is neglect if they are.
Anonymous
Post 01/05/2015 10:50     Subject: Just got grief for bringing 5 yo DS into the women's locker room
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:It's amazing to me how many people on DCUM (quite reasonably) are very protective of their sons because of pedophiles on the playground, in extracurriculars, etc., but then demand that 6-year-olds be sent into LOCKER ROOMS alone. Unbelievable.


She can take him home with a robe on or change him in a non locker room, in a family changing room, or in the hallway with a towel around him. There are lots of alternatives.


Nice - and where should Mom change??? Today may have been unseasonably warm but doubt this will hold true, I know I don't want to go outside or get in my car in 30 degree weather with a wet bathing suit on even if under clothing.


As I mentioned, taking them to a NON locker room is another option..so the women's room. If your kid is big enough to bring discomfort to others and is old enough for kindergarten, he's too big for the women's locker room.


Do you understand not all pools are as plush as yours? There is one bathroom or locker room per gender. I have gotten stranger looks changing my son at four outside than bringing him in a locker room. He is in swim lessons year round. So, I bring him out soaking wet in 10-30 degree weather soaking his car seat and let him freeze. No. Get over it. A 5-6-7 year old is not ready to be alone. My child has delays and he needs help getting changed (hence the swim lessons for coordination). The county pool we go to is very very basic.


You aren't the only one with a son. I have one as well. I also have a daughter and am not bringing my kid into the locker room of the opposite sex once he is elementary school. You did it today, and it was close to 60 degrees so stop with the excuses. It makes my daughter and her swim teammates uncomfortable. Oh, and we swim year round as well. We just are more thoughtful of others'.


OP here. The 21:36 post is not mine. That's someone else.
Anonymous
Post 01/05/2015 07:46     Subject: Re:Just got grief for bringing 5 yo DS into the women's locker room
Anonymous wrote:Yeah, I just avoid all that and change my 5 yr old son poolside. He doesn't mind.


You can also use a changing poncho.

http://www.swimoutlet.com/p/fcs-changing-poncho---chamois-43538/?color=16438
Anonymous
Post 01/05/2015 07:38     Subject: Just got grief for bringing 5 yo DS into the women's locker room
Anonymous wrote:You Americans, you are SO CRAZY PRUDISH.

What hang ups you are passing on to your kids if you would rather they are unsupervised among strangers than possibly see people semi naked for a few seconds? And what hang ups you clearly have if you think a 5 year old gives a toss what you look like naked.

Overheard by my husband in the men's locker room: Adult male to his approx. 7 year old "come on, just get changed, NO ONE HERE IS INTERESTED IN YOUR PENIS".

He's right. Get over yourselves people. And as for your kids feeling uncomfortable -- you taught them that behavior. They need to get over it too.

When I was 5, and 6 and 7, boys and girls changed for PE in our classroom together and it was COMPLETELY NORMAL and uneventful.

You are entitled to your own opinion. You are not entitled to decide for someone else how much nudity they should be comfortable with, least of all their children. You are a master of your own body. Your own body is where it stops.
Anonymous
Post 01/05/2015 06:47     Subject: Just got grief for bringing 5 yo DS into the women's locker room
I don't know, I just feel squeemish about letting a 5 y.o. seeing other women's junk. It seems a little early. He'll get to the naked ladies online when he's good and ready LOL

FWIW, I grew up overseas, but girls and boys changed in separate rooms for PE. Americans are less relaxed about nudity, but I wouldn't go as far as calling Americans "crazy prudish." I find there's a balance that feels healthy to me.
Anonymous
Post 01/05/2015 06:40     Subject: Just got grief for bringing 5 yo DS into the women's locker room
Anonymous wrote:You Americans, you are SO CRAZY PRUDISH.

What hang ups you are passing on to your kids if you would rather they are unsupervised among strangers than possibly see people semi naked for a few seconds? And what hang ups you clearly have if you think a 5 year old gives a toss what you look like naked.

Overheard by my husband in the men's locker room: Adult male to his approx. 7 year old "come on, just get changed, NO ONE HERE IS INTERESTED IN YOUR PENIS".

He's right. Get over yourselves people. And as for your kids feeling uncomfortable -- you taught them that behavior. They need to get over it too.

When I was 5, and 6 and 7, boys and girls changed for PE in our classroom together and it was COMPLETELY NORMAL and uneventful.


The problem with this rant is you presume the way you did things was normal and healthy. It wasn't.