Anonymous wrote:PS, maybe there is something you don't know and can't understand about your MIL and DH. Maybe he reminds her of a hated relative (her dad for example). Maybe it was an unwanted pregnancy. Maybe her husband doted on him so she compensated by doting on the girls. Whatever. What I'm saying is he should not own her rejection of him. She may have motives he can never understand - maybe she will never understand them herself!

Anonymous wrote:I don't understand someone, who is close as immediate family as you can get, actually rejecting their blood and his family. What kind of cold blooded, mean spirited, selfish, self centered person acts this way? Its all about her (MIL)? Is this an acceptable way for grown adults to act?

I would rather be dead, than to be so miserable and unaccepting to my own blood and the family he created.

Saying you "accept/support (whatever that means)" family - is VERY different than *showing* you accept family. I could understand if they were total strangers off the street, but his woman shows total strangers more reverence. Disgusting.

Anonymous wrote:I'm sorry but from what I read I wouldn't spend a single more dollar on that woman. If she is that openly ungrateful and different to you than her daughters...stop it. Stop begging for her love. It's pretty sad. Have your kids make something for her and you can give her something small as nothing ill make a difference either.

And quite honestly: the only way to ever break this cycle is to meet up with her and talk about it. How inconvenient and stressful, I know. I've had my share of difficult in laws. But open communication is the ONLY thing that ever makes a true difference. So. Either you really want to change the relationship, then talk to her about it. Or you just want an easy way out of the gift problem, then just call her up and ask "Hey MIL, since our gifts never seem to hit the right nerve with ya, anything on your mind for this year that would make you really happy?" Best thing to do.

Anonymous wrote:Please don't stress over this. Life is too short.

Anonymous wrote:Tell me if I'm understanding this: OP is trying to find the perfect gift for her MIL. Her MIL abused OP's DH when he was growing up. MIL cherishes the relationship she has with her DDs and their families. OP's ILs have deliberating snubbed their brother/son's family. MIL has never cared for OP's kids and 'recycles' gifts the kids have made for her. MIL has told OP she doesn't need any gifts and has made it clear she doesn't like anything OP has given her. OP pushes her DH to have a relationship with his family even though they have indicated they really don't want one. OP feels she must get a gift for her MIL because.....? I couldn't find that anywhere.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:This may sound strange, but some people HATE gifts. I do. Yeah, weird, I know. But here is the gift: expensive, they went to a lot of trouble, they want me to like it, love it thank them, find a place for it in my home, reciprocate, praise them, use it, talk about it, write a thank you note, buy them a gift, do all the same things they just did for me. No, thanks!! Can we just skip this part??

+2. Sometimes the gifts are more about the giver than the recipient.

Anonymous wrote:This may sound strange, but some people HATE gifts. I do. Yeah, weird, I know. But here is the gift: expensive, they went to a lot of trouble, they want me to like it, love it thank them, find a place for it in my home, reciprocate, praise them, use it, talk about it, write a thank you note, buy them a gift, do all the same things they just did for me. No, thanks!! Can we just skip this part??