OP you sound perfectly sane to me.

I agree with PPs that you can't tell her no iPad.

1) You can ask her to not bring it, saying that you are going for a no-electronics Christmas and tell her the Wifi will be turned off.

2) My MIL watches TV (news) all the time, all day; it's horrible. I get it.
The kids don't get why grandma doesn't spend any time with them and all that. My solution--which has worked, is to basically throw grandma under the bus!

In all seriousness, I think it's important to explain to your kids the dynamics of adults, especially when something unhealthy or weird is going on. Otherwise, the explanation that kids insert when things are unexplained is that the adult is normal, so something must be wrong with them (the kid) that grandma is acting that way. For your kids' sakes, you need to lay out that your kids are fine and it's grandma who has the problem.

"That adults are people, that they are not perfect, and that sometimes even ones we love engage in behaviors that we would not. And the problem is that even though they are in my house, since they are adults, and in this situation I cannot tell grandma to shut it off…her behavior is rude and I never want to see you doing this. And I know it's also sad, because you want to spend time with her and you can't, and she's missing out on spending time with you, but that's the choice she's made and we just have to deal with it…it has nothing to do with you, if she were with your cousins she would be ignoring them and face timing you!"

Something like that…


Now, on a different note--OP, get your iPad ready or borrow someone's, and have your kids go to their room and FaceTime grandma in the living room.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I'd do it. "We're having an old-fashioned holiday with no electronics, so please leave them at home! Can't wait to see you!" If they don't like it, they don't have to come.

So you would really say this to a guest? What if she wants to read on her iPad at bed? Are you really not going to allow a guest to FaceTime with other family members on a holiday? All this bc she doesn't interact with your kids the way you think a grandma should interact?

I would, and I have- "Please leave your phones outside." They did.

You still have visitors after those announcements? Wow. You must prepare a hell of a spread. This would be the end of any visits from me. Not because I am an electronics addict but because someone telling me what to do with my own downtime - to the extent of controlling what I do in the evening in my room before going to bed - is a crazy control freak I'd do anything to avoid.

Go back a generation and say, when granny visits she spends all her time on our telephone. It would be completely out of bounds.

I think it is incredibly rude to visit someone with young kids and spend the entire time face booking and face timing with someone else. It is certainly not how I would want to spend Christmas -- watching granny face time. we do not allow that in our home (yes we have technology) and we would not allow it in a guest. It is just too much.

Anonymous wrote:"...it is not a good time to visit this year. Sorry" You cannot control your MIL and your kids will DEMAND an ipad. Monkey see, monkey do.

Well, they might DEMAND an ipad. At which point OP can say "no."

"...it is not a good time to visit this year. Sorry" You cannot control your MIL and your kids will DEMAND an ipad. Monkey see, monkey do.

No. You can't tell her that!

I think after 7 pages of "don't do that" OP got the message.

Just periodically turn off the wifi.

Anonymous wrote:OMG!!!!!
People need to get a life!!!
Let the old ladies be!
They have to come take care of you cause you are having baby #683
They must psychically divine that your baby announcement you plastered all over a tee shirt and tokd 2/3 of the damn family, is not ready for prime time Facebook.
They must buy exactly what's on your damn Amazon wish list.
They cannot be closer to your sister with kids or your almost SIL with no kids.
Now they cannot even enjoy playing Candy Crush in their Golden Years.
I swear by everything that is holy, that if I was the mother or MIL of half of you crazy heffas, I would have jumped off a bridge by now!!!!

+ 1,000. You nailed it.

Men tend to marry women who are like their moms. That's probably why it seems like their are so many scary MIL's out there. We're only hearing one side of the story, and it takes one to know one.

Anonymous wrote:I have two boys. DCUM makes me terrified about the women they might marry.

I could not agree with you more.

Actually, I think DCUM - and especially the relationship forum - should be required reading for any young man who is considering getting married as to the absolutely bat-shit crazy women they may meet. I am being facetious but hopefully you understand what I mean.

Anonymous wrote:I have two boys. DCUM makes me terrified about the women they might marry.

.
Right there with you, sista!

I have two boys. DCUM makes me terrified about the women they might marry.

No, you have zero right to tell your MIL she can't bring her iPad.