Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:ok everyone forget the long dresses. you mean to tell me that you don't own a very simple, well cut, classic knee length black dress that can be dressed up with jewelry, pashmina, shoes etc? come on people.

Correct. I do not own such a dress. Also, even if I did own such a dress, I would not wear a black dress to a wedding.

Anonymous wrote:ok everyone forget the long dresses. you mean to tell me that you don't own a very simple, well cut, classic knee length black dress that can be dressed up with jewelry, pashmina, shoes etc? come on people.

Anonymous wrote:

you and your post reek of obnoxious judgment. i'd hate to be your 'friend' or someone that invited you to a wedding. basically, you suck and sound like the kind of person who just wants to bitch about something, always.

-guess what, newsflash: weddings cost guests money, in some way or another. whether it's for the gift, gas to get there, plane ticket, hotel, or a dress. it costs money.
-how do you not own a single long dress?
-if you spent the $25 to buy a single long black dress....GASP....you would never have to worry about buying another long dress again, and thus you'd have a go-to dress for just about any semiformal/formal event in the future.
-i felt honored to attend my friends' weddings. no, they were not a state dinner or the oscars, but they were important days for my friends, and thus, for me too. i'm proud to attend my friends' weddings, casual or black tie, b/c i'm there to support them.
-i feel sorry for your DH. you sound like an icy wench.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Here is what is wrong with black tie weddings: You are inviting people AS YOUR GUESTS but requiring them to conform to a dress code that will, for some of them, COST THEM MONEY. You are, in a sense, charging admission to your wedding. That is just rude and ill-mannered, particularly since they are also going to be bringing you a gift.

What your black tie invitation says is: I only want you if you can present yourself in the manner to which I would like to become accustomed. You are not saying: I want you, my friend/loved one, to join me in celebrating the start of my next new adventure in life.

Some people live lives that involve frequent, or even occasional wearings of floor-length dresses and tuxedos. But there are very many people, I would actually say a majority, who haven't worn a full-length dress or tux since they went to the prom or got married themselves. Your black-tie invitation asks people to spend time and money outfitting themselves with items they may never wear again. It is as if you have asked every guest to be a bridesmaid or groomsman.

I don't own a long dress in any color and I'd be pissed if I had to spend even $25 to buy one to attend someone's wedding. It's not the $25, it's the time needed to find something I will likely never wear again. I would feel different about it if I had to buy a long dress to attend a White House dinner or the Oscars. But guess what, Bride? Your wedding is neither of those things. It is not the social event of the season or a one-in-a-lifetime event (for your guests).

My DH is 50 years old. He hasn't had occasion to wear a tuxedo in 20 years. The notion that it is "worth it" for him to run out and buy one to wear as a guest to someone's wedding is patently ridiculous. He'll likely only wear it again if I bury him in it.

you and your post reek of obnoxious judgment. i'd hate to be your 'friend' or someone that invited you to a wedding. basically, you suck and sound like the kind of person who just wants to bitch about something, always.

-guess what, newsflash: weddings cost guests money, in some way or another. whether it's for the gift, gas to get there, plane ticket, hotel, or a dress. it costs money.
-how do you not own a single long dress?
-if you spent the $25 to buy a single long black dress....GASP....you would never have to worry about buying another long dress again, and thus you'd have a go-to dress for just about any semiformal/formal event in the future.
-i felt honored to attend my friends' weddings. no, they were not a state dinner or the oscars, but they were important days for my friends, and thus, for me too. i'm proud to attend my friends' weddings, casual or black tie, b/c i'm there to support them.
-i feel sorry for your DH. you sound like an icy wench.

Anonymous wrote:Here is what is wrong with black tie weddings: You are inviting people AS YOUR GUESTS but requiring them to conform to a dress code that will, for some of them, COST THEM MONEY. You are, in a sense, charging admission to your wedding. That is just rude and ill-mannered, particularly since they are also going to be bringing you a gift.

What your black tie invitation says is: I only want you if you can present yourself in the manner to which I would like to become accustomed. You are not saying: I want you, my friend/loved one, to join me in celebrating the start of my next new adventure in life.

Some people live lives that involve frequent, or even occasional wearings of floor-length dresses and tuxedos. But there are very many people, I would actually say a majority, who haven't worn a full-length dress or tux since they went to the prom or got married themselves. Your black-tie invitation asks people to spend time and money outfitting themselves with items they may never wear again. It is as if you have asked every guest to be a bridesmaid or groomsman.

I don't own a long dress in any color and I'd be pissed if I had to spend even $25 to buy one to attend someone's wedding. It's not the $25, it's the time needed to find something I will likely never wear again. I would feel different about it if I had to buy a long dress to attend a White House dinner or the Oscars. But guess what, Bride? Your wedding is neither of those things. It is not the social event of the season or a one-in-a-lifetime event (for your guests).

My DH is 50 years old. He hasn't had occasion to wear a tuxedo in 20 years. The notion that it is "worth it" for him to run out and buy one to wear as a guest to someone's wedding is patently ridiculous. He'll likely only wear it again if I bury him in it.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I would give $500. Get a cheaper dress that looks expensive. You got good advice on the suits. Find a way to afford it. A few hundred isn't a big deal.

Snort.

My advice:

1. Husband wears a black suit.
2. You borrow a dress or buy a dress at Value Village or at a consignment store.
3. You get them a nice present you can afford.
4. You go and have fun.

They're not better than you. They just have a lot more money.

Anonymous wrote:

You are so ridiculous - If a couple wants to have a nice, formal affair, its their choice. I am sure that the couple and their family are paying a bundle for the wedding and are doing their best to provide you with a really nice evening (good food, drinks, decorations, music, etc.) so they can celibate the marriage. No one is trying to make you feel bad and uncomfortable. If you don't want to go, then don't go.

Anonymous wrote:Here is what is wrong with black tie weddings: You are inviting people AS YOUR GUESTS but requiring them to conform to a dress code that will, for some of them, COST THEM MONEY. You are, in a sense, charging admission to your wedding. That is just rude and ill-mannered, particularly since they are also going to be bringing you a gift.

What your black tie invitation says is: I only want you if you can present yourself in the manner to which I would like to become accustomed. You are not saying: I want you, my friend/loved one, to join me in celebrating the start of my next new adventure in life.

Some people live lives that involve frequent, or even occasional wearings of floor-length dresses and tuxedos. But there are very many people, I would actually say a majority, who haven't worn a full-length dress or tux since they went to the prom or got married themselves. Your black-tie invitation asks people to spend time and money outfitting themselves with items they may never wear again. It is as if you have asked every guest to be a bridesmaid or groomsman.

I don't own a long dress in any color and I'd be pissed if I had to spend even $25 to buy one to attend someone's wedding. It's not the $25, it's the time needed to find something I will likely never wear again. I would feel different about it if I had to buy a long dress to attend a White House dinner or the Oscars. But guess what, Bride? Your wedding is neither of those things. It is not the social event of the season or a one-in-a-lifetime event (for your guests).

My DH is 50 years old. He hasn't had occasion to wear a tuxedo in 20 years. The notion that it is "worth it" for him to run out and buy one to wear as a guest to someone's wedding is patently ridiculous. He'll likely only wear it again if I bury him in it.

Anonymous wrote:Here is what is wrong with black tie weddings: You are inviting people AS YOUR GUESTS but requiring them to conform to a dress code that will, for some of them, COST THEM MONEY. You are, in a sense, charging admission to your wedding. That is just rude and ill-mannered, particularly since they are also going to be bringing you a gift.

What your black tie invitation says is: I only want you if you can present yourself in the manner to which I would like to become accustomed. You are not saying: I want you, my friend/loved one, to join me in celebrating the start of my next new adventure in life.

Some people live lives that involve frequent, or even occasional wearings of floor-length dresses and tuxedos. But there are very many people, I would actually say a majority, who haven't worn a full-length dress or tux since they went to the prom or got married themselves. Your black-tie invitation asks people to spend time and money outfitting themselves with items they may never wear again. It is as if you have asked every guest to be a bridesmaid or groomsman.

I don't own a long dress in any color and I'd be pissed if I had to spend even $25 to buy one to attend someone's wedding. It's not the $25, it's the time needed to find something I will likely never wear again. I would feel different about it if I had to buy a long dress to attend a White House dinner or the Oscars. But guess what, Bride? Your wedding is neither of those things. It is not the social event of the season or a one-in-a-lifetime event (for your guests).

My DH is 50 years old. He hasn't had occasion to wear a tuxedo in 20 years. The notion that it is "worth it" for him to run out and buy one to wear as a guest to someone's wedding is patently ridiculous. He'll likely only wear it again if I bury him in it.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Don't give a gift card or cash--give a gift on their registry that costs $200 or less or another (similar) gift you find on sale somewhere. Giving them cash or a gift card is just calling attention to the amount. If you need to decrease the amount you spend on the gift in order to keep your budget intact, I would do it--just don't give cash!!!

I actually feel the exact opposite. I frequently give gift cards to the store where the registry is. Almost all companies that host registries give a discount to those registering after the event. For example, wedding couples often can buy any items remaining of their registry after the wedding for 10% off. So, a gift card to the store with the registry can often buy more than the face value due to the discount. When we got married 12 years ago, we were able to use the gift cards we received, pool them together and with the 10% discount, we were able to buy the rest of the items that we wanted off of the registry (there were a couple of items that we registered for, that we realized after the wedding that we probably wouldn't use even though we liked the items) without spending a cent out of pocket. That was wonderful and we noted that in the thank you cards to those people, that they helped us buy out the items on the registry after the wedding.