Anonymous
Post 09/12/2014 08:00     Subject: How often do you and partner have sex??
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:
Again, couples can be enjoying sex, quite a bit, even if they are not having it 4x/week. It is not a race.


You are posting excessively. I think you have some serious insecurities that somehow have been brought to surface with this thread. Who exactly is this poster racing with?


I could see my DW posting stuff like this. She feels bad because she knows we're having quite a bit less sex than I'd like. It's really the only thing I've brought up as a source of dissatisfaction in the marriage. I've asked, and she says it has nothing to do with me - says she finds me attractive, that I pull my weight around the house, she doesn't feel resentful, etc. I was patient, waited through pregnancy and toddlerhood until the kids were school age for her to get her drive back. When I finally mentioned something, we were having sex a little less than once a month. She says once a week would be good. That's what she aspires to. Despite my initiations, we barely hit twice a month. I think she's convinced herself that we're pretty close to once a week. When she thinks about sexual frequency it makes her feel like a bad wife because the rest of our marriage is so good. So, she'd prefer not to think about it, and when confronted with the topic, she might be inclined to be dismissive of those for whom sex is a bigger priority.

Obviously projecting my impressions of my wife's insecurities onto the PP isn't very reliable, but that might be the sort of dynamic that's going on.


I agree with you. Its just ridiculous to try to put down others who have sex more frequently. Pp is clearly insecure


There it is again. Why would I be insecure? Why the value judgment about frequency of sex?
Anonymous
Post 09/12/2014 07:58     Subject: How often do you and partner have sex??
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:Pps, you both (or one of you) are acting like those who have an active sex life are either lying or attempting to put you down. They are just answering the questions honestly. I don't see why you feel the need to attack them.


No, I think everyone's natural sex drives are usually completely healthy. What I dislike is people ssuggesting they are superior for having more sex, and pressuring women who have perfectly average, healthy sex lives too.


I think you are seeing things that don't exist. No one was putting anyone down or acting superior. Just because someone says they have sex all the tine doesn't mean they are acting superior, it means they are answering the question asked.


Go back and read the thread. The people with more frequent sex characterized others as boring, not enjoying sex, etc. Plhs there absolutely is ambient cultural pressure for women to have more sex. This is something every couple has to work out, but not by framing perfectly normal, healthy sex lives as worse or aberrant.
Anonymous
Post 09/12/2014 07:54     Subject: How often do you and partner have sex??
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:
Again, couples can be enjoying sex, quite a bit, even if they are not having it 4x/week. It is not a race.


You are posting excessively. I think you have some serious insecurities that somehow have been brought to surface with this thread. Who exactly is this poster racing with?


I could see my DW posting stuff like this. She feels bad because she knows we're having quite a bit less sex than I'd like. It's really the only thing I've brought up as a source of dissatisfaction in the marriage. I've asked, and she says it has nothing to do with me - says she finds me attractive, that I pull my weight around the house, she doesn't feel resentful, etc. I was patient, waited through pregnancy and toddlerhood until the kids were school age for her to get her drive back. When I finally mentioned something, we were having sex a little less than once a month. She says once a week would be good. That's what she aspires to. Despite my initiations, we barely hit twice a month. I think she's convinced herself that we're pretty close to once a week. When she thinks about sexual frequency it makes her feel like a bad wife because the rest of our marriage is so good. So, she'd prefer not to think about it, and when confronted with the topic, she might be inclined to be dismissive of those for whom sex is a bigger priority.

Obviously projecting my impressions of my wife's insecurities onto the PP isn't very reliable, but that might be the sort of dynamic that's going on.


I agree with you. Its just ridiculous to try to put down others who have sex more frequently. Pp is clearly insecure
Anonymous
Post 09/12/2014 07:53     Subject: How often do you and partner have sex??
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:Pps, you both (or one of you) are acting like those who have an active sex life are either lying or attempting to put you down. They are just answering the questions honestly. I don't see why you feel the need to attack them.


No, I think everyone's natural sex drives are usually completely healthy. What I dislike is people ssuggesting they are superior for having more sex, and pressuring women who have perfectly average, healthy sex lives too.


I think you are seeing things that don't exist. No one was putting anyone down or acting superior. Just because someone says they have sex all the tine doesn't mean they are acting superior, it means they are answering the question asked.
Anonymous
Post 09/12/2014 07:05     Subject: How often do you and partner have sex??
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:
Again, couples can be enjoying sex, quite a bit, even if they are not having it 4x/week. It is not a race.


You are posting excessively. I think you have some serious insecurities that somehow have been brought to surface with this thread. Who exactly is this poster racing with?


I could see my DW posting stuff like this. She feels bad because she knows we're having quite a bit less sex than I'd like. It's really the only thing I've brought up as a source of dissatisfaction in the marriage. I've asked, and she says it has nothing to do with me - says she finds me attractive, that I pull my weight around the house, she doesn't feel resentful, etc. I was patient, waited through pregnancy and toddlerhood until the kids were school age for her to get her drive back. When I finally mentioned something, we were having sex a little less than once a month. She says once a week would be good. That's what she aspires to. Despite my initiations, we barely hit twice a month. I think she's convinced herself that we're pretty close to once a week. When she thinks about sexual frequency it makes her feel like a bad wife because the rest of our marriage is so good. So, she'd prefer not to think about it, and when confronted with the topic, she might be inclined to be dismissive of those for whom sex is a bigger priority.

Obviously projecting my impressions of my wife's insecurities onto the PP isn't very reliable, but that might be the sort of dynamic that's going on.
Anonymous
Post 09/12/2014 06:56     Subject: How often do you and partner have sex??
Anonymous wrote:Pps, you both (or one of you) are acting like those who have an active sex life are either lying or attempting to put you down. They are just answering the questions honestly. I don't see why you feel the need to attack them.


No, I think everyone's natural sex drives are usually completely healthy. What I dislike is people ssuggesting they are superior for having more sex, and pressuring women who have perfectly average, healthy sex lives too.
Anonymous
Post 09/12/2014 06:27     Subject: How often do you and partner have sex??
Married 25 yrs. 2 kids.

Frequency is variable depending on life. It can 4x/wk, or none, or anything in between. We both inititiate about the same, and I can't remember either of us ever saying no. Longest dry spell was probably 4 weeks. I'm guessing most days in a row was 3. We definitely tend to go in "spurts"; active week, slow week, etc...We're both mid-drive types - not always raring to go, but very easy to get in the mood.
Anonymous
Post 09/12/2014 06:17     Subject: How often do you and partner have sex??
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:This thread is fascinating. You folks are having way more sex than I am and the women in my circle of friends.

I know. Super sexually active women posters, another question. During times on your life when you were single (if you ever were), did you masturbate as often as you now have sex with your partner? If youR libido is that high and you want it as often as he does, you would think you wanted it just as much when you were alone.


I "get off" daily now..sex 4 or so times a week with masturbation weaved in. When DH and I first met, we would have sex multiple times a day. We could not keep our hands off each other. Now I find that tue more sex I have, the more I want. If there's a break, its hard to get back into the swing. So for me more sex means even more sex.

I only talk intimate details with 3 of my friends. Two of them are ahout the same frequency as me and one has no interest in sex and has happily gone months without.

I think people like myself who still enjoy sex after 15yrs of marriage went from daily sex to half that now. I think if you start out slow, your sex drive is completely flatlined after kids.


Again, couples can be enjoying sex, quite a bit, even if they are not having it 4x/week. It is not a race.


You are posting excessively. I think you have some serious insecurities that somehow have been brought to surface with this thread. Who exactly is this poster racing with?
Anonymous
Post 09/11/2014 22:37     Subject: How often do you and partner have sex??
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:This thread is fascinating. You folks are having way more sex than I am and the women in my circle of friends.

I know. Super sexually active women posters, another question. During times on your life when you were single (if you ever were), did you masturbate as often as you now have sex with your partner? If youR libido is that high and you want it as often as he does, you would think you wanted it just as much when you were alone.


I "get off" daily now..sex 4 or so times a week with masturbation weaved in. When DH and I first met, we would have sex multiple times a day. We could not keep our hands off each other. Now I find that tue more sex I have, the more I want. If there's a break, its hard to get back into the swing. So for me more sex means even more sex.

I only talk intimate details with 3 of my friends. Two of them are ahout the same frequency as me and one has no interest in sex and has happily gone months without.

I think people like myself who still enjoy sex after 15yrs of marriage went from daily sex to half that now. I think if you start out slow, your sex drive is completely flatlined after kids.


Again, couples can be enjoying sex, quite a bit, even if they are not having it 4x/week. It is not a race.


She didn't say it was a race. She answered the question asked.
Anonymous
Post 09/11/2014 22:37     Subject: How often do you and partner have sex??
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:So yay! Not only do we have to do natural unmedicated childbirth, breastfeed, haul our asses to work while still inhumanely sleep deprived, "lean in" at work while wondering if 50 hrs of childcare a week is harming your bond with your baby, make healthy appealing meals, keep organized houses, do cardio 5x/week, stay skinny, find something to wear other than capris ... but we also have to immediately start having sex 3-4 times a week or we will be "boring" and our DHs will leave us. Oh, and we should be orgasming 2-3 times per session. Got it.

Is it so hard to get that some people have different priorities than those mentioned in your post? Id ask why you are so bitter...but I think I know why


Thanks for proving my point. You just can't imagine that people having less sex are perfectly healthy and enjoying sex. You have to be a bitter harpy to be ok with the (national average) of once a week.


Uh...you're the one who is kind of acting like a bitch. Re read your first post.
Anonymous
Post 09/11/2014 22:36     Subject: How often do you and partner have sex??
Pps, you both (or one of you) are acting like those who have an active sex life are either lying or attempting to put you down. They are just answering the questions honestly. I don't see why you feel the need to attack them.
Anonymous
Post 09/11/2014 22:33     Subject: How often do you and partner have sex??
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:This thread is fascinating. You folks are having way more sex than I am and the women in my circle of friends.

I know. Super sexually active women posters, another question. During times on your life when you were single (if you ever were), did you masturbate as often as you now have sex with your partner? If youR libido is that high and you want it as often as he does, you would think you wanted it just as much when you were alone.


I "get off" daily now..sex 4 or so times a week with masturbation weaved in. When DH and I first met, we would have sex multiple times a day. We could not keep our hands off each other. Now I find that tue more sex I have, the more I want. If there's a break, its hard to get back into the swing. So for me more sex means even more sex.

I only talk intimate details with 3 of my friends. Two of them are ahout the same frequency as me and one has no interest in sex and has happily gone months without.

I think people like myself who still enjoy sex after 15yrs of marriage went from daily sex to half that now. I think if you start out slow, your sex drive is completely flatlined after kids.


Again, couples can be enjoying sex, quite a bit, even if they are not having it 4x/week. It is not a race.
Anonymous
Post 09/11/2014 22:31     Subject: How often do you and partner have sex??
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:So yay! Not only do we have to do natural unmedicated childbirth, breastfeed, haul our asses to work while still inhumanely sleep deprived, "lean in" at work while wondering if 50 hrs of childcare a week is harming your bond with your baby, make healthy appealing meals, keep organized houses, do cardio 5x/week, stay skinny, find something to wear other than capris ... but we also have to immediately start having sex 3-4 times a week or we will be "boring" and our DHs will leave us. Oh, and we should be orgasming 2-3 times per session. Got it.

Is it so hard to get that some people have different priorities than those mentioned in your post? Id ask why you are so bitter...but I think I know why


Thanks for proving my point. You just can't imagine that people having less sex are perfectly healthy and enjoying sex. You have to be a bitter harpy to be ok with the (national average) of once a week.
Anonymous
Post 09/11/2014 22:11     Subject: How often do you and partner have sex??
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:This thread is fascinating. You folks are having way more sex than I am and the women in my circle of friends.

I know. Super sexually active women posters, another question. During times on your life when you were single (if you ever were), did you masturbate as often as you now have sex with your partner? If youR libido is that high and you want it as often as he does, you would think you wanted it just as much when you were alone.


I "get off" daily now..sex 4 or so times a week with masturbation weaved in. When DH and I first met, we would have sex multiple times a day. We could not keep our hands off each other. Now I find that tue more sex I have, the more I want. If there's a break, its hard to get back into the swing. So for me more sex means even more sex.

I only talk intimate details with 3 of my friends. Two of them are ahout the same frequency as me and one has no interest in sex and has happily gone months without.

I think people like myself who still enjoy sex after 15yrs of marriage went from daily sex to half that now. I think if you start out slow, your sex drive is completely flatlined after kids.
Anonymous
Post 09/11/2014 21:35     Subject: How often do you and partner have sex??
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:This thread is fascinating. You folks are having way more sex than I am and the women in my circle of friends.

I know. Super sexually active women posters, another question. During times on your life when you were single (if you ever were), did you masturbate as often as you now have sex with your partner? If youR libido is that high and you want it as often as he does, you would think you wanted it just as much when you were alone.


3-4 times a week poster. When I was single I masturbated almost everyday day and had a couple of orgasms. When DH and i started dating, we had sex multiple times a day. Eventually tapered to 5 times a week. After DS was born we settled on 3-4 times a week. I was crazy horny during pregnancy and for 7 months post partum. Wanted sex constantly!