I have no problem with store bought stuff but if you bring some sad looking muffins from food lion or a bag of lays no dip it's kind of lame. Plus pointless as everyone will be eating the good stuff. I get that not everyone has the time but take it a step up - go to a good bakery or buy some dip for the chips. Just a little effort

In my experience, potlucks are often attached to other events. For example, my son's school used to have a potluck at back to school night. Or the football team will have a potluck "tailgate" at the last game of the season. If you want to attend the other event, it can be awkward to decline the potluck part.

Anonymous wrote:Most of the potlucks I attend are at work and anything I bring from home has to commute with me through 5 blocks on foot, a bus ride and a Metro ride (for which I may or may not get a seat). We have only one car, so I can't drive in for the day. I have an infant and a 2-year-old, and am an exclusive pumper whose husband works until 10:30 every night. At least 75% of the people in our office are childless/empty nesters who drive everywhere. Bottom line I'm not going to feel guilty about bringing a bad of chips or a box of plastic forks.

Really, stay home. You do not ssem up to it. You are entitled and probably not much fun to be around

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

One should not feel the need to attend if you do not want to contribute

Are you politely saying not to come? I just wasn't sure.

Not wanting to contribute but contributing anyway is different from not contributing.

No, I am saying "Potluck" means that you will contribute food to the communal meal. But unlike a dinner - there is no obligation to attend either. You can decline invitation to an event if it is a potluck, without committing a social faux pas - after all your attendance and contribution goes hand in hand. On the other hand, a dinner cannot be turned down without a good reason (prior commitment, ill-heath, unavailability etc) - because you are not really contributing to the party (you are probably only getting a hostess gift) and other guests are not partaking of what you have brought to the party.

Really?

A dinner or a potluck can be turned down for any reason at all. Like this:

Host: Would you like to come to dinner/potluck on Day, at Time?
You: Oh, I'm so sorry, I can't, I already have plans for then.

Even if your plans consist of staying home being grateful that you're not at that dinner/potluck.

Well, if you have no problems saying "no" then you are not the person who does not want to contribute to the potluck but is forced to contribute to it. Right?

Had a coworker who never, ever washed her hands in the bathroom but who would bring in a gajillion homemade baked goods. Wondered why no one touched them. Sort of sums up my reluctance, especially at work potlucks - you never know who is the Milton at your office.

At potlucks with friends, I have a somewhat picky eater kid, so I would love to see some bananas, any cut fruit at all, some chips.

I don't cook so I usually go by Lebanese Taverna market and buy some interesting items there. I honestly feel like that is enough.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

One should not feel the need to attend if you do not want to contribute

Are you politely saying not to come? I just wasn't sure.

Not wanting to contribute but contributing anyway is different from not contributing.

No, I am saying "Potluck" means that you will contribute food to the communal meal. But unlike a dinner - there is no obligation to attend either. You can decline invitation to an event if it is a potluck, without committing a social faux pas - after all your attendance and contribution goes hand in hand. On the other hand, a dinner cannot be turned down without a good reason (prior commitment, ill-heath, unavailability etc) - because you are not really contributing to the party (you are probably only getting a hostess gift) and other guests are not partaking of what you have brought to the party.

Really?

A dinner or a potluck can be turned down for any reason at all. Like this:

Host: Would you like to come to dinner/potluck on Day, at Time?
You: Oh, I'm so sorry, I can't, I already have plans for then.

Even if your plans consist of staying home being grateful that you're not at that dinner/potluck.

Anonymous wrote:

One should not feel the need to attend if you do not want to contribute

Are you politely saying not to come? I just wasn't sure.

Not wanting to contribute but contributing anyway is different from not contributing.

No, I am saying "Potluck" means that you will contribute food to the communal meal. But unlike a dinner - there is no obligation to attend either. You can decline invitation to an event if it is a potluck, without committing a social faux pas - after all your attendance and contribution goes hand in hand. On the other hand, a dinner cannot be turned down without a good reason (prior commitment, ill-heath, unavailability etc) - because you are not really contributing to the party (you are probably only getting a hostess gift) and other guests are not partaking of what you have brought to the party.

Stop asking people to bring food to your party if you are not satisfied with past results

Anonymous wrote:I always bring something homemade unless there's a good reason why I can't... Distance, time is day etc. I don't have a car so that's a factor. That said it's not that hard to put together a carrot raisin salad or something similar, and it's surprisingly popular. I've also been known to bring a good homemade pieor banana cake. Pies can be labor intensive but there are plenty of other things that aren't. I mean seriously, how hard is it to cook some pasta, add some sauce and cheese, throw it in the oven to let the flavors blend and call it a day. Dishes like that are easy and taste better the second day. No excuse not to put together something simple and homemade.

Carrot raisin salad is repulsive.

One should not feel the need to attend if you do not want to contribute

Are you politely saying not to come? I just wasn't sure.

Not wanting to contribute but contributing anyway is different from not contributing.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Most of the potlucks I attend are at work and anything I bring from home has to commute with me through 5 blocks on foot, a bus ride and a Metro ride (for which I may or may not get a seat). We have only one car, so I can't drive in for the day. I have an infant and a 2-year-old, and am an exclusive pumper whose husband works until 10:30 every night. At least 75% of the people in our office are childless/empty nesters who drive everywhere. Bottom line I'm not going to feel guilty about bringing a bad of chips or a box of plastic forks.

I work in DC and most people come by metro. Typically if there is a potluck people pick up stuff by the office from Whole fooods, Trader Joes or a local restaurant.
If you want to protest potlucks, dont attend. Bringing in something lame is just unfair to others who took the time to make or buy something. If everyone thought the way you did then potlucks would be a bunch of people standing around a few bags of chips and some forks.

Also please don't assume 75% of your office is less busy that you are b/c they are childless or their kids are grown up. As we discussed in another thread, you have no idea what their personal obligations are. Maybe some of them take care of a sick or elderly family member. Maybe they are sick themselves. Maybe they just go home and veg. Who knows, not me and not you.

I love chips and lots of plastic forks! I never buy either, so I gorge on chips at these parties, and take the extra boxes of forks to my office for whenever lunchtime. It's a win all around!

You five-finger-discount the extra plastic utensils? This may require a spin-off thread.

People who hate potlucks don't know how to cook. It makes their wives look terrible.

Anonymous wrote:I have hosted and been to many potlucks. Overtime I have gained some experience and this is what my group of friends do -

1) A potluck is not an obligation. One should not feel the need to attend if you do not want to contribute. There is a slightly different etiquette to a potluck then when you are being invited for a meal to someone's house.

2) Sometimes it is easier to do a potluck in the neighborhood, where everyone contributes towards pizza and drinks, especially when you have a situation that people are unable to contribute equally (lack of time, skill, money, energy). Same for school celebration. Instead of getting spotty contributions of food and paper products, a contribution of a few dollars makes it easier and equitable for everyone.

4) When hosting a potluck, it is better if the hostess can cover the items of a basic meal. This means that the party can commence even if someone is a no-show or a poor contributor.

5) A hostess can have a theme or a menu and give people the choice to pick a dish from that. However, it is very rude if you give contributors choices where the work involved is labor intensive or the ingredients are expensive. So divvy up the work and cost appropriately. For example - if one person has to make salmon dip for 30 people and another has to bring a bottle of cola - it is going to create resentment.

6) In some potluck situations where it is more of a community celebration - I usually give disposable aluminium chafing dish pans to people to fill and bring to the party. That ensures that I get the quantity I need as well as minimizes the hassle of returning the dishes back. I am also then able to put the dish directly to warm on the chafing dishes. Another thing we do is that we divvy up all left overs equally after a party.

+1

Great tips!

I have hosted and been to many potlucks. Overtime I have gained some experience and this is what my group of friends do -

1) A potluck is not an obligation. One should not feel the need to attend if you do not want to contribute. There is a slightly different etiquette to a potluck then when you are being invited for a meal to someone's house.

2) Sometimes it is easier to do a potluck in the neighborhood, where everyone contributes towards pizza and drinks, especially when you have a situation that people are unable to contribute equally (lack of time, skill, money, energy). Same for school celebration. Instead of getting spotty contributions of food and paper products, a contribution of a few dollars makes it easier and equitable for everyone.

4) When hosting a potluck, it is better if the hostess can cover the items of a basic meal. This means that the party can commence even if someone is a no-show or a poor contributor.

5) A hostess can have a theme or a menu and give people the choice to pick a dish from that. However, it is very rude if you give contributors choices where the work involved is labor intensive or the ingredients are expensive. So divvy up the work and cost appropriately. For example - if one person has to make salmon dip for 30 people and another has to bring a bottle of cola - it is going to create resentment.

6) In some potluck situations where it is more of a community celebration - I usually give disposable aluminium chafing dish pans to people to fill and bring to the party. That ensures that I get the quantity I need as well as minimizes the hassle of returning the dishes back. I am also then able to put the dish directly to warm on the chafing dishes. Another thing we do is that we divvy up all left overs equally after a party.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:There is no such thing as a nice potluck. Maybe they people bringing lame things are protesting the potluck "party".

Back home, people had fan favorite dishes that they would make and bring. I think this area has a lot of working parents and people who don't cook much, and so it creates a downward cycle of low expectations.

This. I'm from the midwest and potlucks with friends there always involved TONS of food (and alcohol). People often have a signature dish that they reliably bring to the potluck, or are asked specifically to bring it. I certainly had a particular dish that was always requested!