Anonymous wrote:Emily and Katherine (Kate)

These two hellcats have destroyed everything nice you've ever owned. You wonder if toddlers can be put on ADD meds.

Anonymous wrote:Lucien and Stella

People think you are artsy but you have no idea why, since you don't even get the reference. You named your children after a great aunt on one side and an uncle on the other, but only after some serious arm twisting, and because you couldn't deal with the guilt of turning your back on family tradition. The names are forever associated in your mind with clunky wooden shoes and greasy middle school hair, but that your children are weighted down with them is not tragic -- it's just the way life is in your family. Brilliance and talent are not in the cards.

Anonymous wrote:Matthieu, Delphine, Colette

Your BA in French literature is NOT going to waste.

Clarke, Dain, and Marta

Emily and Katherine (Kate)

Matthieu, Delphine, Colette

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Taryn and Camdyn

Having 2 children before age 20 means that you get to be the fun mom.

I love you. You are hilarious. Seriously, you should start a blog with this stuff - or something. You're funny as hell.

Ditto. I love whoever is making these up.

Anonymous wrote:Henry, Harriet (Hattie), Catherine, George

You love celebrity tabloid magazines. You don't subscribe but you enjoy reading them when in the checkout lane in the grocery store. You live in Rockville but pine for a home in Georgetown.

Lucien and Stella

Henry, Juliet

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Taryn and Camdyn

Having 2 children before age 20 means that you get to be the fun mom.

I love you. You are hilarious. Seriously, you should start a blog with this stuff - or something. You're funny as hell.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Rowan, Olive, May

After your Wiccaning, you were shocked to find that you had conceived triplets. The water birth was an orgasmic experience. Your only worry is that baby-wearing 3 twenty-pound kids as you forage herbs for their colic remedy is starting to kill your back.

Only one of them is evil, and it's not the one you think. Be careful. Be very, very careful.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Rowan, Olive, May

After your Wiccaning, you were shocked to find that you had conceived triplets. The water birth was an orgasmic experience. Your only worry is that baby-wearing 3 twenty-pound kids as you forage herbs for their colic remedy is starting to kill your back.

Only one of them is evil, and it's not the one you think. Be careful. Be very, very careful.

Anonymous wrote:Rowan, Olive, May

After your Wiccaning, you were shocked to find that you had conceived triplets. The water birth was an orgasmic experience. Your only worry is that baby-wearing 3 twenty-pound kids as you forage herbs for their colic remedy is starting to kill your back.

Anonymous wrote:Frances and Piers

You can't understand how your boys are turning out a bit effeminate and you hate to admit that it bothers you. You're not done pretending they are into the sports you sign them up for and still throw their registration into conversation here and there. By the time they are in middle school you'll be almost able to accept their "quirks" and hobbies, even the one about memorizing all the trivial about talk show hosts of the last 30 years, from their groundbreaking interviews to their secret gay dalliances. You'll gauge the looks on your dinner guests' faces as your boys go on and on with a seemingly endless list of facts, trying to decide it is as odd to others as it is to you. They'll end up in a job on cable TV where their names will finally suit them. Good choice, PP.