When I tell people what I do, they dismiss it as fluff and think I don't "really" work, believing instead that it's DH's high-paying job that pays the bills.

I make more $ than him, though.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:There are plenty of people in this area who graduated with highly marketable degrees and have been earning good incomes since they were in their 20's. Some of these people are dual income couples and they can afford to have some extras..

Exactly. Even two modest incomes of $150k a year per person - which is pretty much one or two steps above entry level professional adds up to $300K. If even one of the parents "makes it" and goes into the $200-$300K range, suddenly HHI hits $400-$500.

huh? What planet are you living on? I mean seriously.
This type of thinking blows my mind.

Anonymous wrote:There are plenty of people in this area who graduated with highly marketable degrees and have been earning good incomes since they were in their 20's. Some of these people are dual income couples and they can afford to have some extras..

Exactly. Even two modest incomes of $150k a year per person - which is pretty much one or two steps above entry level professional adds up to $300K. If even one of the parents "makes it" and goes into the $200-$300K range, suddenly HHI hits $400-$500.

There are plenty of people in this area who graduated with highly marketable degrees and have been earning good incomes since they were in their 20's. Some of these people are dual income couples and they can afford to have some extras..

Many years ago my sister was living a much more lavish lifestyle her family could afford. While they weren't doing anything that would necessarily turn heads - staying at higher-priced hotels than they could afford, leasing an expensive car, expensive activities for kids, etc, I knew they were living beyond their means. Well, lo and behold, they had to declare bankruptcy.

Things got better for awhile. They stopped using their credit card and seemed to be watching what they spent. But lately, I've seen their spending creep up again, and I wonder if it will happen again.

Anonymous wrote:I normally don't notice or care how others spend money -- but I have one high school friend on Facebook whose lifestyle I just don't get. Wouldn't have noticed except that she posted that they're at Disney for the 2nd time in 3 months. No matter what you think about Disney (or about Facebook announcements), it's not exactly a cheap trip and esp. not when you go the week of Christmas and again during spring break season. Her kids are enrolled in every activity under the sun -- from art classes to horseback riding -- and she doesn't work. I'm sure her DH does well, but this is small town well -- not an investment banker or biglaw partner or business owner in a big city. I'm sure the haters will say I'm jealous -- but I'm really not, she deserves to be happy as she's a great person but I almost want tips on how to manage that kind of lifestyle for myself!

It's also possible it's all on credit cards and they are over spending. I know some people who rack up huge credit card bills and then panic when they are in dire straits. Some people refinance their homes and act like it's free money.

DH's co-worker refinanced, they bought two new vehicles. A year later, their house was foreclosed and they were divorced.

A neighbor had lavish parties for his kids (had an empty lot that they had purchased just so the kids would have a LARGE yard to play in.) They lost both their home and their lot. We don't do lavish, but our house is paid off

-The ant (not the grasshopper.)

Anonymous wrote:My friends still think credit card balances are OK. We don't.

its a line of credit. some people need working capital because of how they are paid. I have a draw of only $160K, random bonuses during the year in nominal amounts, and then normally a bonus of $150K to $250K at the end of the year. So I run up a credit card each year to about $15K and pay it off at the end of the year.

My friends still think credit card balances are OK. We don't.

A lot of it is different priorities or different levels of fiscal responsibility.

I don't drive a luxury car, see many that do and wonder how they afford the $800/month, but then again I eat out 6-7 meals a week and they bring bag lunches. Different strokes.

So many people do not contribute to their 401K. That AMAZES me. But they make their choices, I make mine.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Usually one of the following four apply:

1) Drug money
2) Embezzlement
3) Inheritance or trust
4) Massive CC debt.

We are #5 (as are a lot of people we know): make it yourself. I know people don't want to believe this. But it is true.

I bet you are but don't believe that a lot of people that you know fall into the same category. People lie. A lot.

Maybe. But many of these people are coworkers, so I have a good idea how much money they make.

We don't have a high HHI, but we have family money. I'm sure people wonder where we get our money too.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Usually one of the following four apply:

1) Drug money
2) Embezzlement
3) Inheritance or trust
4) Massive CC debt.

We are #5 (as are a lot of people we know): make it yourself. I know people don't want to believe this. But it is true.

I bet you are but don't believe that a lot of people that you know fall into the same category. People lie. A lot.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Usually one of the following four apply:

1) Drug money
2) Embezzlement
3) Inheritance or trust
4) Massive CC debt.

Stealing from elderly relatives is also very common.

this is so true. There is almost one "thief" in every family that doesn't think it is stealing but entitlement or what they deserve.

Anonymous wrote:Hah yes when i was working at a nonprofit and some of my coworkers would frequently buy lunch and Starbucks. They might have made more than I did - but probably not enough to make up for $60+ per week in food.

I did this years ago on 30k a year. The secret was not having anyone else to take care of and ultra cheap rent in DC. It can be found. I found a 2 bed in Chevy Chase in a great school zone recently.

Anonymous wrote:I hear this "they live beyond their means" statement all the time but in 20 years of living here I have not seen very many that do -- compared to the very many who have money from another source -- family, trust, inheritance, made it flipping homes, good investments, ect ect. There are also many families where the relatives pay the tuition for private also. "Millionaires next door" are everywhere around the DC area.

I don't see many people living beyond their means in the sense of going into debt to fund their daily lifestyle but I do see people spending all they make, buying a home that really is pushing their budget in terms of how much they can afford in mortgage - one family friend was so maxed out on her budget that when she was unhappy with her childcare arrangements (she had gone with the cheapest one she could find), she didn't have the $150/month flexibility needed to switch to another option that would have been better for her family. That's scary to me - you're $150/month away from being in debt? Another friend had gone with one of the most expensive childcare options in town and had stopped contributing to her retirement and put off starting the college fund in order to make that work in her family's budget - so clearly they were maxed out, spending all they had.

I think people living at the absolute edge of their budget are the ones most at risk of going into debt if anything were to arise - so maybe they can afford it this month but there's just one unexpected life event away from being in debt and currently, they don't have the flexibility to make monthly payments on any new debt they might take on. That's what I see a lot of and it's scary.