HAHAHAHAHA I am laughing at the thought of MIL doing anything in my house - HELPING??!! Cooking? Cleaning? Laundry?

Anything but reading the paper?

HAHHAHAHAHAHAHA......

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

It somehow made it through

Doesn't really seem it is your MIL's fault. I'd wonder how it made it past the blades, she didn't have special MIL powers to get it past.

Any plumber will tell you that you are NOT supposed to put potato peels or other such things down a garbage disposal. It is too much and it all turns to mush, even if it is shredded, and still clogs the drain.

Disposals/aerators are really just for the rare crumbs that come off of dishes, et cetera. They're not mean to be used in place of a trash can.

+1. Amazing people don't know this.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I don't care if you're a little kid or old person- when you're a guest in someone's home, eat what you're bloody served.

2nd this. End of story. A good host/hostess will do his best to make sure that there is something available that all attendees will eat, but it's the attendees' job to make the best of what they're offered without complaint. Regardless of whether they're guests or family.

Bless your hearts.

Based on this thread it sounds like the toddlers are easier to deal with than the elderly inlaws. Sounds like my 7 month old is easier to feed than some of these FILs who think they are royalty and need their food just right.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I don't care if you're a little kid or old person- when you're a guest in someone's home, eat what you're bloody served.

2nd this. End of story. A good host/hostess will do his best to make sure that there is something available that all attendees will eat, but it's the attendees' job to make the best of what they're offered without complaint. Regardless of whether they're guests or family.

Bless your hearts.

Anonymous wrote:I don't care if you're a little kid or old person- when you're a guest in someone's home, eat what you're bloody served.

2nd this. End of story. A good host/hostess will do his best to make sure that there is something available that all attendees will eat, but it's the attendees' job to make the best of what they're offered without complaint. Regardless of whether they're guests or family.

I don't care if you're a little kid or old person- when you're a guest in someone's home, eat what you're bloody served.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:OP I am curious what you do when you go to their house as you say that you don't bring food (that is rude), you don't do your own cooking (that is rude) and the kids won't eat her meals (they don't like her food). So do the kids just not eat for the times you visit there? you wouldn't ever bring food (snacks, food they like into the house)?

When we visit I bring one bag of groceries with nuts, fruit and things to supplement the meals because I know my kids will mainly pick at what is served. I try to avoid bringing too much because FIL gets annoyed that things are on his counters. I try to avoid bringing anything that needs to be refrigerated because MIL has both frigs overflowing. I also think my kids need to learn to eat what is served so I don't bring a lot, but since they're little they have meltdowns when hungry.

I have offered to cook and once or twice, but to be honest after driving 8 hours and having kids not sleeping well in a different house I am kinda lazy about it.

Life is best when we eat out!

So you bring your food to their house but you don't think they should bring their food to yours.

Anonymous wrote:

Now it comes out! Your issue is really that you don’t like the dynamic between your ILs, their attitudes and having to share your kitchen. Yeah, I’m sure I’d be annoyed by some of their attitudes but the meals are a non-issue. They’re trying to work with you by bringing their own food. Grow the fuck up or start ordering out!


Unless they have health reasons, it is extremely rude to bring food to someone else's house. A lot more is going on. Some people like to show control through food. I am willing to bet your MIL or FIL or both are heavy.

But which is more rude - a guest bringing their own food/cooking or a host who insists on providing food she knows a guest doesn't like? Why doesn't OP (or OP's DH) learn how to cook what her FIL likes? I'm sure her MIL would be happy to pass on knowledge of their family food traditions.

Except that this isn't accurate. We absolutely DO provide food FIL likes. I buy certain meats for him, make a special trip to Whole Foods for his favorite fancy cheeses, go to the wine store and stock up, etc. It's not about family food traditions. It's more that I just don't cook his bacon the perfect, right way, so MIL gets up and cooks it at the same time as I need to be making breakfast for my kids. The 14 month old will start screaming from hunger if I don't hurry up, but my kitchen is TINY and only fits one person. MIL know all this, but says, "let me make a nice breakfast for you all (that FIL will love)" and she pokes around in the kitchen forever and thinks serving breakfast at 10 is just fine. Meanwhile my kids are melting down and I just want to scramble some damn eggs. In my own kitchen. I do say this to her, but then I feel rude for pushing her out.

This thread has been interesting. It's made me realize that although everything seems quite polite and fine on the surface, I'm actually quite resentful of my inlaws and I need to work on that. It's sad because I do think they are good people, and they're wonderful grandparents. Our family cultures are just so different. My parents take the attitude that we are adults and there is a lot of mutual respect, even when they don't agree with us. There is a lot of verbal support and long chatty discussions. My husband's family is quite polite and formal, very southern. They believe they are the elders and as such we should respect them and honor their needs and wishes, and they lead the conversation (which consists of listening to FIL's old stories or about their recent trips or golf game). I am one of those people that if you never ask me about myself and listen to me talk, then I don't feel known. Not a great combo. But at the end of the day it's more important to me that they have good relationships with my kids.

And that they stay out of my kitchen.

Anonymous wrote:OP I am curious what you do when you go to their house as you say that you don't bring food (that is rude), you don't do your own cooking (that is rude) and the kids won't eat her meals (they don't like her food). So do the kids just not eat for the times you visit there? you wouldn't ever bring food (snacks, food they like into the house)?

When we visit I bring one bag of groceries with nuts, fruit and things to supplement the meals because I know my kids will mainly pick at what is served. I try to avoid bringing too much because FIL gets annoyed that things are on his counters. I try to avoid bringing anything that needs to be refrigerated because MIL has both frigs overflowing. I also think my kids need to learn to eat what is served so I don't bring a lot, but since they're little they have meltdowns when hungry.

I have offered to cook and once or twice, but to be honest after driving 8 hours and having kids not sleeping well in a different house I am kinda lazy about it.

Life is best when we eat out!

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:OP, that's nothing! Last time my MIL came over, she:

1. wrecked my brand new car with DS inside

2. started a fire in my kitchen

3. spilled an entire costco sized bottle of laundry detergent on our cream color carpet (talk about a b@tch to get out!)

We are hoping next visit goes better....

Ummm, how do you spill a whole bottle of laundry detergent on the carpet? What was she trying to do - open it?
Wrecking a new is the absolute worst - she would never drive the kids anywhere after that.

She sat it on the dryer without a lid on it, then turned the dryer on. It vibrated off. (Our washer/dryer is in a closet type thing, with linoleum flooring just under the washer/dryer, and a bi-fold closet door hiding said washer/dryer)

That is one of the most stupid things I have ever heard in my life. Who puts an opened bottle of detergent on top of the dryer - of course its going to vibrate off!!!

I would have lost my mind.

LOL, I KNOW! It took everything I had to keep a smile on my face and tell her it was okay. (yes, I apparently am a saint)

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:OP, that's nothing! Last time my MIL came over, she:

1. wrecked my brand new car with DS inside

2. started a fire in my kitchen

3. spilled an entire costco sized bottle of laundry detergent on our cream color carpet (talk about a b@tch to get out!)

We are hoping next visit goes better....

Ummm, how do you spill a whole bottle of laundry detergent on the carpet? What was she trying to do - open it?
Wrecking a new is the absolute worst - she would never drive the kids anywhere after that.

She sat it on the dryer without a lid on it, then turned the dryer on. It vibrated off. (Our washer/dryer is in a closet type thing, with linoleum flooring just under the washer/dryer, and a bi-fold closet door hiding said washer/dryer)

That is one of the most stupid things I have ever heard in my life. Who puts an opened bottle of detergent on top of the dryer - of course its going to vibrate off!!!

I would have lost my mind.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:OP, that's nothing! Last time my MIL came over, she:

1. wrecked my brand new car with DS inside

2. started a fire in my kitchen

3. spilled an entire costco sized bottle of laundry detergent on our cream color carpet (talk about a b@tch to get out!)

We are hoping next visit goes better....

Ummm, how do you spill a whole bottle of laundry detergent on the carpet? What was she trying to do - open it?
Wrecking a new is the absolute worst - she would never drive the kids anywhere after that.

She sat it on the dryer without a lid on it, then turned the dryer on. It vibrated off. (Our washer/dryer is in a closet type thing, with linoleum flooring just under the washer/dryer, and a bi-fold closet door hiding said washer/dryer)

Anonymous wrote:OP, that's nothing! Last time my MIL came over, she:

1. wrecked my brand new car with DS inside

2. started a fire in my kitchen

3. spilled an entire costco sized bottle of laundry detergent on our cream color carpet (talk about a b@tch to get out!)

We are hoping next visit goes better....

Ummm, how do you spill a whole bottle of laundry detergent on the carpet? What was she trying to do - open it?
Wrecking a new is the absolute worst - she would never drive the kids anywhere after that.