Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I'm in my late 30's and a virgin. I have never had a boyfriend. My assumption is that the majority of men, and any man I would be interested in, would be weirded out by my virginity. Thus, if it ever comes up, my plan is to lie about both my sexual history and having had past relationships.

Me too! Not often to meet another late 30s virgin who has never had a boyfriend. This thread is fairly old but if you see it, you aren't alone!

I see you. Thanks - you're not alone either.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I'm in my late 30's and a virgin. I have never had a boyfriend. My assumption is that the majority of men, and any man I would be interested in, would be weirded out by my virginity. Thus, if it ever comes up, my plan is to lie about both my sexual history and having had past relationships.

Me too! Not often to meet another late 30s virgin who has never had a boyfriend. This thread is fairly old but if you see it, you aren't alone!

As a man, I wouldn't necessarily be "weirded out," though I would be surprised. I think most men will overlook it if you are attractive and are otherwise OK (not crazy).

I think it's a lot harder for older male virgins.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I'm in my late 30's and a virgin. I have never had a boyfriend. My assumption is that the majority of men, and any man I would be interested in, would be weirded out by my virginity. Thus, if it ever comes up, my plan is to lie about both my sexual history and having had past relationships.

Don't you think your first sexual partner will realize you are a virgin? Would it be better to tell him so that he adapts the lovemaking accordingly?

I've gone horse-back riding and used tampons for over a decade, so pretty sure I'm not going to bleed the first time or anything.

What? Your lack of skill will give you away, is what the person meant. Unless you're a technical, "everything but" virgin who's an experienced deep throat.

Bull. It will not.
Not every sexual encounter encompasses every position and Oral.
She could do missionary and the guy would never know.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Not sure I would ever ask. WTF.

You would sleep with someone without knowing their sexual history?

People lie.
You are naive.
One guy I dated at 20 was a virgin. I LIED and told him there was one guy before him.
I didn't want to tell him he was number 26. Lol

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I'm in my late 30's and a virgin. I have never had a boyfriend. My assumption is that the majority of men, and any man I would be interested in, would be weirded out by my virginity. Thus, if it ever comes up, my plan is to lie about both my sexual history and having had past relationships.

Don't you think your first sexual partner will realize you are a virgin? Would it be better to tell him so that he adapts the lovemaking accordingly?

I've gone horse-back riding and used tampons for over a decade, so pretty sure I'm not going to bleed the first time or anything.

Hmn... sorry for TMI, but it's not just about bleeding, it's about actual penetration. The penetrating person would definitely know the difference.

I was an avid horseback rider and wore tampons and I still bled. Just saying...

I never bled at all.

Anonymous wrote:I'm in my late 30's and a virgin. I have never had a boyfriend. My assumption is that the majority of men, and any man I would be interested in, would be weirded out by my virginity. Thus, if it ever comes up, my plan is to lie about both my sexual history and having had past relationships.

Me too! Not often to meet another late 30s virgin who has never had a boyfriend. This thread is fairly old but if you see it, you aren't alone!

Anonymous wrote:I hope that someone will because I believe that my cousin is a virgin and she is that age. Lovely young woman, but shy and dealing with some family issues beyond her control.

I remember you (your cousins' issue) from a different post...so what steps is she taking to meet a good guy?

I hope that someone will because I believe that my cousin is a virgin and she is that age. Lovely young woman, but shy and dealing with some family issues beyond her control.

I once dated a man who was a virgin until he was around 30.

He is actually a well-known musician (but not until a couple of years after we broke up). He was still working a day job at the time we were dating.

I actually didn't know that he was a virgin until after we had been dating for several months, long after we started having sex. I literally had no idea. I do remember him being a bit passive at first, but it was nothing to make me think that he was a virgin the first time. He got better (and more aggressive, in a nice way) in time. He was not shy about giving oral either.

He was a bit of a loner and was uncomfortable, and would try to change the subject, whenever the subject of past relationships came up. I'm honestly not sure if he ever had a real girlfriend prior to me. He seemed to have no close friends, although this wasn't obvious at first. He wasn't religious and he was in good physical shape, so it was definitely something with his personality.

He was super smart and funny though, and was extremely sweet, in a shy and gentle sort of way. He didn't come across as socially awkward, other just being a bit shy. I remember being at his house and him playing me early versions of a couple of songs which were later released on an album.

We broke up because he dumped me very abruptly -- literally on the spot, without warning during an argument. It was nothing to do with him being a late-bloomer. He was very sensitive to criticism (I know, a musician/artist who is sensitive to criticism!) and he constantly would get upset if he thought I was "judging" him or attacking him. I think his long prolonged virginity was due to this paranoia. I met his parents a couple of times, and I got the impression that his mother was pretty overbearing and critical, which probably fucked him up.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Most don't use condoms in a relationship for to long. Unless your super worried about pregnancy even with being on bc. I'd say no more then 2 months.

So wouldn't you want to know your partner's sexual history if you're only 2 months into it and want to drop the condoms?

To drop condoms - I would need medical proof - from both of us. And a lot of trust that this is indeed monogamous relationship. I am not willing to even endure warts because of sex.

Are you married?

Yes, I am. And I have seen plenty of older women catch stuff from unprotected sex from men they met from match.com and other online dating sites. And that was mainly because these women had had their tubes tied and so were used to not using condoms with the husbands (before divorce)

How long did you use condoms with your now husband?

Not for long. Maybe a fewf months. He had to get a complete physical for an assignment but I had started using other methods of contraception before I knew the results.

Anonymous wrote:Im a male virgin in my mid 30s, for a variety of reasons. But theres no way in hell id tell a date that.

What are those reasons?

Anonymous wrote:Bottomline - you date people you are attracted to. And if they want to date you, they also are attracted to you.

So eventually, sex will follow and virginity will be a moot point. And you will have more sex and find pleasure.

I am not understanding the big deal? Unless the question is - I am dating a late 30s virgin who does not eventually want to have sex?

I'll tell you the big deal. A guy who's a virgin until his late 30s has less experience than I do, is likely less interested in sex and would be shocked at some of the things I like. I know, I dated a guy who was in his late 20s, a recovering Mormon who'd slept with one woman. He couldn't imagine giving oral, doing anal, self pleasure ( for me), was shocked at the thought of using toys. If you're a woman who's not much into sex or is into infrequent vanilla sex, maybe. That relationship lasted six months.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Most don't use condoms in a relationship for to long. Unless your super worried about pregnancy even with being on bc. I'd say no more then 2 months.

So wouldn't you want to know your partner's sexual history if you're only 2 months into it and want to drop the condoms?

To drop condoms - I would need medical proof - from both of us. And a lot of trust that this is indeed monogamous relationship. I am not willing to even endure warts because of sex.

Are you married?

Yes, I am. And I have seen plenty of older women catch stuff from unprotected sex from men they met from match.com and other online dating sites. And that was mainly because these women had had their tubes tied and so were used to not using condoms with the husbands (before divorce)

How long did you use condoms with your now husband?

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Im a male virgin in my mid 30s, for a variety of reasons. But theres no way in hell id tell a date that.

Are you scared that you will be found wanting in bed if you have sex? Or, would you resort to going to a professional just so you can say that you are not a virgin?

Ive had issues staying hard, and its embarrassing. I have to fix that problem first. And then theres the issue of getting a woman im attracted to to have sex with me, which im probably able to do, but id rather do it in a relationship.

Have you dated with some sort of sexual interaction? What has been the extent of your sexual experience? Do you think that maybe just losing your virginity to a professional might help in getting rid of your performance anxiety?

Havent had intercourse but been close. Im actually fairly attractive but with neuroses/issues as well as my hardness problem, something which probably has something to do with using rogaine. Im hopng a urologist can help.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Im a male virgin in my mid 30s, for a variety of reasons. But theres no way in hell id tell a date that.

Are you scared that you will be found wanting in bed if you have sex? Or, would you resort to going to a professional just so you can say that you are not a virgin?

Ive had issues staying hard, and its embarrassing. I have to fix that problem first. And then theres the issue of getting a woman im attracted to to have sex with me, which im probably able to do, but id rather do it in a relationship.

Have you dated with some sort of sexual interaction? What has been the extent of your sexual experience? Do you think that maybe just losing your virginity to a professional might help in getting rid of your performance anxiety?