We used to live 5 people in 850 sq ft. It was well laid out, so it was bearable. Then we went to 4 people in 1200 ft. This place is not well laid out, and the noise and lack of privacy and space are annoying. I think 500 per person would be fine.

Anonymous wrote:OP here. The debate here sounds a lot like the one going on in my current home. DH grew up in big suburban new build house out West and I grew up in small house on East Coast. We are further along in the search than I probably indicated and the debate is heating up. I think 2000 + unfinished basement for toys, small yard and attic would be fine. He thinks 3000 would give us room to grow into.

No clear answers tonight.

Someone on this board recommended a book to me and it's changed my life: The Not So Big House by Sarah Susanka. I strongly recommend it no matter what size you decide - she has lots of ideas for making your space more efficient and a reflection of the way you live. I think lots of people who need tons of space have no idea what to do with the space they have. A well designed, appropriately scaled house is more important than square footage in my opinion. My family of 3 lives in a 1,600 square foot house that is 700 square feet more than our last. It feels small when cluttered and spacious when clean. We have space for what's important to us: 3BR (one of which is an office/guest room), 2BA, living room, family room, mud room, laundry room, kitchen with dining nook and a small yard. I can't imagine keeping up with anything bigger.

3800 sq. ft. Split level with 5 people and 5 bedrooms, three in suites . Top floor master suite, second level three bedrooms and lower level in law suite. Very comfortable.