Anonymous wrote:Also, I suggest you tell him to look these kids in the eye and tell them that he wants to be their friend--but that friends don't hurt other people. Sometimes, the direct approach is the best. If it continues, then you must talk to the teacher.

Wishful thinking. This is great in theory, but not in practice. That "Kumbaya, We all the World" mantra doesn't fly with kids from certain backgrounds. This is the type of stuff that invites the bullies to harass the OP's child even more. Children from certain backgrounds who don't receive the love and the attention that they need from home actually love the negative attention that they receive from bad behavior choices. Also, they have yet to learn empathy for other people because it was never taught to them at home. The reality is that many children don't come from loving homes and their parents don't care that they're mistreating other children. This is a problem that goes a little deeper than, "I want to be your friend." Attention seeking children can care less about having friends. Their egos get a boost by being junior socio-paths and the center of attention, not by being nice. Hurt people hurt people. Bullies hurt others because they themselves are hurting. Physically hurting others is a negative form of communication and learned behavior that these young bullies have probably adopted from their parents.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:In some cases, rich spoiled kids act much worse than any other kids.

My kids is at a Big 3/5 kindergarten, and we've had the same problem. I have had to call and email then principal and teacher repeatedly re punching, pulling hair, squeezing, pinching, etc. I have volunteered in classroom to make sure my kid wasn't exaggerating. I was/am shocked at level of aggressiveness in K, wtf is going on?

What is a "Big 3/5 kindergarten"?

The top 3-5 private schools.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Be honest... is this the Anglo kids or the non-Anglo kids?

Yeah! White kids are perfect!

Oh please. At my DD's grade, it is the two non-White, Muslim girls who are the leaders of the mean pack. They have no shame or conscience whatsoever. Making fun of SN kids is one of their kinks. Last I heard - there was a teacher-parent meeting couple of weeks ago because the bullying escalated to a point when one of the SN parents threatened to go to the media and sue the girls' parents. Yet, those girls' parents keep saying, "oh, they are just little girls, they will apologize, they are really sorry."

It depends on the child, not their color/religion. I'm not Muslim and my experience has been the Muslim kids in DC's classes have been very respectful and nice. The mean girl thing cuts across all cultures, you'll find them in all ethnicities.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Be honest... is this the Anglo kids or the non-Anglo kids?

Yeah! White kids are perfect!

Oh please. At my DD's grade, it is the two non-White, Muslim girls who are the leaders of the mean pack. They have no shame or conscience whatsoever. Making fun of SN kids is one of their kinks. Last I heard - there was a teacher-parent meeting couple of weeks ago because the bullying escalated to a point when one of the SN parents threatened to go to the media and sue the girls' parents. Yet, those girls' parents keep saying, "oh, they are just little girls, they will apologize, they are really sorry."

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:In some cases, rich spoiled kids act much worse than any other kids.

My kids is at a Big 3/5 kindergarten, and we've had the same problem. I have had to call and email then principal and teacher repeatedly re punching, pulling hair, squeezing, pinching, etc. I have volunteered in classroom to make sure my kid wasn't exaggerating. I was/am shocked at level of aggressiveness in K, wtf is going on?

What is a "Big 3/5 kindergarten"?

Anonymous wrote:In some cases, rich spoiled kids act much worse than any other kids.

My kids is at a Big 3/5 kindergarten, and we've had the same problem. I have had to call and email then principal and teacher repeatedly re punching, pulling hair, squeezing, pinching, etc. I have volunteered in classroom to make sure my kid wasn't exaggerating. I was/am shocked at level of aggressiveness in K, wtf is going on?

Actually we don't have too many AA students at our school so your inferencing skills need work. We definitely don't have any upper middle class white students either. Garbage in, garbage out. When you scream at your children from the get go, don't be surprised when they don't respond to anything else but screaming. The same is true for physical abuse. No, hitting them isn't discipline. I have a positive attitude toward all of our "kids" but it often feels like a losing battle when you see what they have to deal with at home.

Anonymous wrote:Huh PP? I wrote that the students who are the ones who misbehave are the ones whole parents scream at them as a means of communication. Where did you get that the kids who behave are stressed out? Many of our native English speakers have shitty excuses for parents and I feel sorry for them. I also suspect that many of the kids are products of drug addicted mothers which affects behavior too.

Let me translate what you said for those who don't get it. The ESOL kids are well behaved with parents who are very hard working. The black native English speaking kids have "shifty excuses for parents" who scream at them all the time causing them to be stressed out and misbehave, or have mothers who were drug addicted during pregnancy, and so the kids have behavior problems because they were exposed to drugs in utero. The upper middle class white kids have indulgent parent who constantly make excuses for them, and so the kids are overindulged and not well behaved. Glad to see the positive attitude our teachers have.

Huh PP? I wrote that the students who are the ones who misbehave are the ones whole parents scream at them as a means of communication. Where did you get that the kids who behave are stressed out? Many of our native English speakers have shitty excuses for parents and I feel sorry for them. I also suspect that many of the kids are products of drug addicted mothers which affects behavior too.

Oh so kids behave when they are stressed out. Got it, thx for the tip.

I teach at a Title One school and I am an ESOL teacher. I am often told by the classroom teachers that "my" students (meaning ESOL students) are much better behaved than the native speakers. It is easy to see why many children behave the way they do at school when their parents come into school screaming at their child. It seems like many of them do not know how (or choose not) to talk to their child. They just scream at them. If I had to live like that, my stress levels would be sky high. I dread parent teacher conferences. Most of my students' parents don't come in (they usually work 2 jobs or split shifts with their spouses) but just hearing the way parents speak to their children makes me cringe. My friend teaches at a mostly white upper middle class private school and she has some students who are very poorly behaved and the parents just blame it on anything else but the child. She is trying to get a job in a public school b/c she is sick of the parents making excuses.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I'm surprised more people don't post about these types of social challenges in majority FARMS schools. Schools just can't manage issues like this no matter how good the administration and how able the teachers. A primary reason I would never send my child to a school with a FARMS rate approaching 50%.

I agree. We learned the hard way.

You can't group all those types of schools in the same category. My child goes to one of them and absolutely loves it.
fARMS kids do not automatically equal badly behaved children

+1 My son went to a school with 30% FARMS & ESOL. Those were the best behaved children in the class.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I'm surprised more people don't post about these types of social challenges in majority FARMS schools. Schools just can't manage issues like this no matter how good the administration and how able the teachers. A primary reason I would never send my child to a school with a FARMS rate approaching 50%.

I agree. We learned the hard way.

You can't group all those types of schools in the same category. My child goes to one of them and absolutely loves it.
fARMS kids do not automatically equal badly behaved children

I wasn't trying to imply 50% FARM and the south should be upheld as a good standard. It is just that the PP made it sound like this wassomething new or novel, but it isn't.

There are lots of great public schools in the South. Few of those have 50% FARMS.