Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:That sounds like a scene from a screwball comedy.

Whatever your big news is, if its truly big, why would something like that de-rail the topic permanently for the evening?

It does sound very awkward. I can understand your feelings could be hurt if this is a very good friend and she knew what you were about to say, and then did this to screw up the moment for you. But why would she do that? Do you think it was an on purpose? Was there general conversation going on that maybe she didnt hear you about to deliver the news? Is she someone prone to awkward blurting like this?

We are too much context on her ways know them and your perception of her intentions to be able to say what we would do or what you should do.

OP here. we were in a quiet, fancy restaurant. We are not chugging beer and telling Hooters jokes. We are over 30. Yes, sadly she knew what the news was and did not want to hear yet another friend having great good fortune. When she told me the other friend, I thought it was just small talk. She knew her friend was very ummm lucky, why the anger? So she did it on purpose --that is why my feelings were hurt. She heard me all too well.
What I missed was that she had had much more to drink than I noticed at the time (in retrospect, I now realize that she was plastered. She has a bit of a drinking problem. She started singing. Friends don't usually burst into toddler songs when we eat out together. Now I remember that she has done this before when she has had too much. It was very early to be quite at that state.) I can image when she told me her mother was ill... if I had jumped right into the Barney's song...I would have thought that was rude of me.
The whole thing took me by surprise. I know it would have been much smoother to say, OK Larla, You're feeling very merry. Partly it was just a misunderstanding. She is a big drinker. What did I expect? I did not understand the extent of her perception that falling down drunk is OK , and all the things that go with it. I do not want to think this about my friend.
I have to rethink this with her, my tolerance ,ect. Obviously this has been building up. Vent!

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:That sounds like a scene from a screwball comedy.

Whatever your big news is, if its truly big, why would something like that de-rail the topic permanently for the evening?

It does sound very awkward. I can understand your feelings could be hurt if this is a very good friend and she knew what you were about to say, and then did this to screw up the moment for you. But why would she do that? Do you think it was an on purpose? Was there general conversation going on that maybe she didnt hear you about to deliver the news? Is she someone prone to awkward blurting like this?

We are too much context on her ways know them and your perception of her intentions to be able to say what we would do or what you should do.

OP here. we were in a quiet, fancy restaurant. We are not chugging beer and telling Hooters jokes. We are over 30. Yes, sadly she knew what the news was and did not want to hear yet another friend having great good fortune. When she told me the other friend, I thought it was just small talk. She knew her friend was very ummm lucky, why the anger? So she did it on purpose --that is why my feelings were hurt. She heard me all too well.
What I missed was that she had had much more to drink than I noticed at the time (in retrospect, I now realize that she was plastered. She has a bit of a drinking problem. She started singing. Friends don't usually burst into toddler songs when we eat out together. Now I remember that she has done this before when she has had too much. It was very early to be quite at that state.) I can image when she told me her mother was ill... if I had jumped right into the Barney's song...I would have thought that was rude of me.
The whole thing took me by surprise. I know it would have been much smoother to say, OK Larla, You're feeling very merry. Partly it was just a misunderstanding. She is a big drinker. What did I expect? I did not understand the extent of her perception that falling down drunk is OK , and all the things that go with it. I do not want to think this about my friend.
I have to rethink this with her, my tolerance ,ect. Obviously this has been building up. Vent!

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:OP, DCUMers appear to have no manners and no ability to recognize when proper manners have been violated. Further, I strongly suspect that many posters have probably been guilty of precisely they type of rudeness you describe so they are defensive. Finally, rudeness is a sport, if not an art, on this forum. This is the last place you want to go for insight or support on human behavior. I hope you find a suitable opportunity to share your big news.

Anonymous wrote: OP here. The responses I got from DCUM made me appreciate my friend more. She is 100x nicer than the posters. It was a misunderstanding. it is normal for us to share news of our good fortune. In my culture, it is normal to speak the way I do. There are a lot of euphemisms.

OMG this is OP totally talking to herself back there.

Definitely!

I'm the pp who wrote the note about manners and I am not the OP.

The friend already knew what the news was. Perhaps you could rephrase. "I hope you find a suitable opportunity to rub your friend's face in it and gloat in the manner in which you feel suitable as dictated by any previous dealings you had with such friend."