Anonymous
Post 07/30/2025 10:32     Subject: Anyone think the stress of working isn't worth it?
On a recent audit,had three episodes where I felt like a migraine and in one eye, vision was not as good and started seeing amoeba. Partner said it could be stroke warning sign. Yes, I'm getting out due to stress and anxiety. RTO resulted in five extra commuting hours per week in a high traffic area combined with a new boss who has to pepper conversations with "last night I worked until 12:30" remarks. I'm done before my health gets worse.
Anonymous
Post 07/30/2025 09:48     Subject: Re:Anyone think the stress of working isn't worth it?
Anonymous wrote:I remember this OP. She is basically lazy and wants to stay home, live off her husband, and pursue her "interests". If a man said he just doesn't have any ambition and wants to be a saty-at-home husband (with no kids), he'd be roundly villified. Flame away, but if my daughter turned out like that, I'd be very disappointed.


OP clearly sees SAHM as a cushy, get out of jail free card. Childcare is hard - she’s in for a rude awakening.
Anonymous
Post 06/27/2013 19:05     Subject: Re:Anyone think the stress of working isn't worth it?
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:I remember this OP. She is basically lazy and wants to stay home, live off her husband, and pursue her "interests". If a man said he just doesn't have any ambition and wants to be a saty-at-home husband (with no kids), he'd be roundly villified. Flame away, but if my daughter turned out like that, I'd be very disappointed.


If my daughter or son turned out like this, I would be disappointed.


Different strokes I guess. It would make me nuts if I thought my grandchildren were being housed in a daycare center all day. So thankful my daughter-in-law chose to stay-at-home while the kids are still young.


Yes, at my child's daycare center they are all stacked up in cages/kennels. It makes me nuts, too, but what are you gonna do?
Anonymous
Post 06/27/2013 19:04     Subject: Re:Anyone think the stress of working isn't worth it?
I want a pony.
Anonymous
Post 06/27/2013 10:43     Subject: Re:Anyone think the stress of working isn't worth it?
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:OP, do you live on a farm? What about your household can be possibly so time consuming without kids? Are you remodeling your house or something? Are your "pets" cows and chicken and goats? I get it that you are pg, totally normal to feel tired now, but based on your other posts you felt like you needed to stay home to just take care of regular stuff for two grown up adults.


OP here. I don't feel like I need to stay home just to take care of the house, but what I'm saying is that working full-time and taking care of the house is like working a full-time job plus a part-time job. The best scenario would be work part-time, take care of the house part-time (pre-kids). Once I have the baby, I think the best scenarios is work part-time and have a part-time nanny, or stay home full-time and have a part-time nanny.

There is a lot that goes into maintaining a SFH. I have a messy hubby, so there is more cleaning, my pets are messy, and hubby works long hours. Cleaning/laundry takes about 7 hours per week, which includes bathrooms, sweeping, vacuuming, changing bedsheets and towels, doing all laundry, ironing, and general tidying. Cooking/meal planning/grocery shopping takes about 10 hours per week, including packing 2 sets of lunches for work. Organizing/home maintenance takes about 4 hours per week. Yardwork is about 3 hours per week, though in the winter we do none. Errands/Target is about 5 hours per week. Pet care (2 dogs) is about 6 hours per week. That adds up to basically a part-time job. When you have one person doing most of this, the hours add up. I'm not sure what is so hard to understand about why taking care of a house is very time-consuming. We don't have a housekeeper or anything.

I'm just saying that when you work full-time, and do all the household stuff, plus commutes, then it is very stressful to get it all done and not feel like you're always rushing around and on the go.


What I don't understand is, if you have the money to stay home full time and hire a part-time nanny, why don't you have the money to hire (a) housecleaners; (b) landscapers who mow the lawn, do all the yardwork, weed, rake leaves, etc. (they have yearly maintenance contracts for this); (c) dog-walkers, etc etc. You get my point here, surely. If you have money, ALL of these tasks can be outsourced and you can spend your time at home sipping a margarita with your feet up in front of the television. Why has this never occurred to you?

Either way, if you're unhappy at work and your commute is 1.5 hours both ways (holy crap), then by all means, stay home. But if you're thinking that these tasks get any easier once you add a baby into the mix, you're fooling yourself. So HIRE outside help. You guys clearly have the money. What is with that??
Anonymous
Post 06/26/2013 22:22     Subject: Re:Anyone think the stress of working isn't worth it?
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:
I am also not the type who always likes to be doing something. I like to just sit and relax sometimes.


Good grief OP, who is NOT like that? Most people do. If you can afford not to work, stay home if you want to. But you are no different than people who want to/have to work.


I don't think that's true. Some people are very high energy and want to have constant things to do. They don't know how to just lax or don't want to just sit and chill.


There's a huge difference between wanting to be busy and wanting to work at the same thing every day for set hours / with people you may not choose / even when something else is going on. And there is a huge difference between loving your job (lots of us love our jobs) and being willing to do that job full time if you really, truly didn't have to work at all.
Anonymous
Post 06/26/2013 18:36     Subject: Re:Anyone think the stress of working isn't worth it?
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:I remember this OP. She is basically lazy and wants to stay home, live off her husband, and pursue her "interests". If a man said he just doesn't have any ambition and wants to be a saty-at-home husband (with no kids), he'd be roundly villified. Flame away, but if my daughter turned out like that, I'd be very disappointed.


If my daughter or son turned out like this, I would be disappointed.


Different strokes I guess. It would make me nuts if I thought my grandchildren were being housed in a daycare center all day. So thankful my daughter-in-law chose to stay-at-home while the kids are still young.
Anonymous
Post 06/26/2013 18:29     Subject: Re:Anyone think the stress of working isn't worth it?
Anonymous wrote:
I am also not the type who always likes to be doing something. I like to just sit and relax sometimes.


Good grief OP, who is NOT like that? Most people do. If you can afford not to work, stay home if you want to. But you are no different than people who want to/have to work.


I don't think that's true. Some people are very high energy and want to have constant things to do. They don't know how to just lax or don't want to just sit and chill.
Anonymous
Post 06/26/2013 18:22     Subject: Re:Anyone think the stress of working isn't worth it?
Anonymous wrote:I remember this OP. She is basically lazy and wants to stay home, live off her husband, and pursue her "interests". If a man said he just doesn't have any ambition and wants to be a saty-at-home husband (with no kids), he'd be roundly villified. Flame away, but if my daughter turned out like that, I'd be very disappointed.


If my daughter or son turned out like this, I would be disappointed.
Anonymous
Post 06/26/2013 17:56     Subject: Re:Anyone think the stress of working isn't worth it?
I remember this OP. She is basically lazy and wants to stay home, live off her husband, and pursue her "interests". If a man said he just doesn't have any ambition and wants to be a saty-at-home husband (with no kids), he'd be roundly villified. Flame away, but if my daughter turned out like that, I'd be very disappointed.
Anonymous
Post 06/26/2013 17:45     Subject: Re:Anyone think the stress of working isn't worth it?
I don't like stress (who does?), but I can handle it. And i make a lot of money. And i have no desire to be a housekeeper. But, some people love it. I think both partners need to be on board for it to work.
Anonymous
Post 06/25/2013 11:11     Subject: Anyone think the stress of working isn't worth it?
OP. Sounds like you should consider moving closer to your husband's job since you'll be staying home. Look for a townhouse or condo that does not require some of the maintenance it takes you so long to accomplish. This would probably help your overall quality of life. It will also give your husband more time to help out around the house. It's ridiculous for you to have to do everything around the house, he should be responsible for some things as well. Or just hire cleaners, like several pps have suggested. You sound like you want to out-source the wrong parts of your "work" (ie. part time nanny so you can clean and do errands?)

Please let us know how motherhood is treating you, I agree with the pp's... you sound like you're in for a real shock.
Anonymous
Post 06/25/2013 10:23     Subject: Re:Anyone think the stress of working isn't worth it?
Anonymous wrote:
I am also not the type who always likes to be doing something. I like to just sit and relax sometimes.


Good grief OP, who is NOT like that? Most people do. If you can afford not to work, stay home if you want to. But you are no different than people who want to/have to work.


I dont' think she just wants to stay home, she wants to stay home and have a nanny, because no way in the world she would be able to take care of a young baby, plus do all that she does and not complain about it. Baby is a 24/7 job, her regular jobs is what? 10 hours a day, 5 days a week?
Anonymous
Post 06/25/2013 10:19     Subject: Anyone think the stress of working isn't worth it?
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:Ok, it sounds like you do ALL the housework even though you also work full time? And you have a "messy hubby"? Then it makes sense that you would be stressed.


OP here. Yep. It's not just housework--it's cooking, errands, all of it. It just adds up to a lot of time. My hubby does what he can but he has a crazy job and doesn't have much free time at home. Maybe some people can effortlessly work full-time, and maintain a household with everything that goes into it, but I have difficulty doing so and it causes a lot of stress. I am also not the type who always likes to be doing something. I like to just sit and relax sometimes.


Are you working too hard to make things perfect? YOu know you can let some things go. You don't need to cook every day for starters, there is take out, make DH drive and get a take out on the way back or oder in if you can. Buy some frozen foods in case you are tired to cook and when cooking throw a simple meal like a salad in 15 min, healthier and faster and less dishes to wash. If you cannot manage your pets, consider finding them other homes, or giving them to the family if this is an option at least temporarily. Get a weekly cleaning service, they can do laundry too, it won't cost you that much, maybe you can cut down on some other expenses, but it improves your quality of life. Get someone to mow your lawn, like a neighborhood teenager if you don't want to pay for a landscaping service. All other things you mentioned, errands, bills, organizing, is very common and something you should have been accustomed to do for yourself since you were on your own. Or how did you grow up? Did you have your mother do everything for you before you got married, did you live with parents? Or did you grow up in a wealthy household with full time household help and did nothing? I see that your DH doesn't help and since you both work, you should demand that he steps up a little, like do dishes, garbage, pick up food on the way from work. But overall, taking care of yourself should not be difficult for you, didn't you go to college, where you did your own laundry, dishes, bills, meals, etc, while going to school and doing homework?
Anonymous
Post 06/25/2013 10:14     Subject: Re:Anyone think the stress of working isn't worth it?
I am also not the type who always likes to be doing something. I like to just sit and relax sometimes.


Good grief OP, who is NOT like that? Most people do. If you can afford not to work, stay home if you want to. But you are no different than people who want to/have to work.