I don't see the big deal in asking them to pay the fee. If I was the invited guest, I would assume and insist on paying. What I find a little odd is you're basically saying "if you want our kids to have a play date at all this summer, you have to pay the fee". At least that is what I took it to mean when you said your kids spend every day at the pool after camp. Apologies if I misunderstood and there is wiggle room with your kids activities.

Yes. Rude. And poor.

LOL .. you clearly have no capacity to appreciate or see robust sarcasm.... no quim here, babycakes, rotting or otherwise, though you're sound like such a tough guy (or a fabulously mean girl ), I'm just quivering...

Point is, such an invitation would tell a lot about the person making the invitation. I was brought up with more class than to invite people as my guest and then hand them a bill.

Ah yes, the classiness oozes from every word of your post...

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I am a teacher/mom and I always let my friends/family know that they are welcome to come to the pool this summer. I would be broke very quickly if I paid the $10 guest fee for everyone. Maybe in DCUMland, $10 per person is nothing but it is a lot to me. None of my friends/family expect me to pay for them either. We invited my son's friend to the pool last week and his mom sent him with $15. $10 for the pool and $5 for a snack. I told her I always pack a lunch and I packed something for him. We stay for 4-5 hrs at least too b/c $10 is too much to be there for only an hour or two.

How is being a [/b]teacher[b] germane to the topic?

I save money every week from my paycheck for 6-8 months to pay for the pool membership. I earn around $40K per year as a teacher and that is my only income. My ex rarely pays child support so no, I really don't have the money to pay for my kids' friends to come to the pool.

You shouldn't invite someone as your guest if you can't or don't want to pay for them. It's rude.

Whenever I'm someone's guest, I always offer to pay. If they reject my offer, I try to pay for something else (like snacks). If your guest is polite, she will offer pay, but you should decline.

Anonymous wrote:Too bad that somewhere along your path on life you were not taught mannets. What you did is rude and has branded you as cheap and vulgar. You can count on it that the other mom has\will pass this story along to other mutual acquaintances.

Then I guess she doesn't have good manners, either!

If I were a guest I would offer to pay the fee. I would feel it was weird if someone raised the issue ahead of time, but if it were a good friend, I'd give them the benefit of the doubt and assume they were just saying it to ensure that I would have cash vs. thinking I was a cheapskate who wasn't going to offer.

A guest is someone invited to an activity. A host pays for a guest. If you aren't willing to pay for a guest to join you in activity, then do not invite them.

Roy G Biv, this thread has gone off the rails!

We have a pool membership. It's a bit of a stretch in our budget but is a priority for us. Nearly everyone at our pool has guests often. It seems to be about 50/50 in terms of paying guest fees. I feel like it is only in this neighborhood would this ever be an issue. Growing up, it would be assumed that each family would cover the fees. Someone paying for everyone else would come across as weird or show-boating.

When we've invited people in the past, if it is a one-time thing, we will generally just pay the fees before they even get there, so that they just walk in and we get called to verify they're our guest and that's that. But, for friends who come often, we generally pay the first time, but will pay in front of them. Usually this causes them to say "oh, let us get that!" and we say, no, our pleasure! We hope you come often, and maybe then we'll let you cover your guest fees, but this time is our treat!

We can afford to do that, though. For a casual friend who is just trying to get a playdate, it's completely appropriate for folks to cover their own fees. There are multiple playgroups at our pool, and each parent covers their own fees. Don't get too worked up, OP. Despite what you are hearing here, there is not really a right / wrong answer here.

Guest

I would be very happy to pay giest fees at my friend's pool amd always offer to pay. I appreciate being asked and would like to be invited back.

Anonymous wrote:If you are not in a position to pay, don't invite. (Of course there are some exceptions for certain kinds of friends/family) We have brought friends to the pool (individual kids) and we always pay. If a family comes we pay unless they insist. Usually we buy a pizza there and split it or potluck a dinner so the guest family does contribute.

In your case I simply would have declined the playdate saying you already had plans. Done.

No no no. I would far prefer to bein ited with option of paying! Can't afford membership but love it when friends invite me, even when I have to pay guest passes.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Once or twice, the member pays. every week - guest pays. Sort of the difference between issuing an invitation and couple of friends mutually deciding to go to the pool.

+1

I find this so much harder bc once you are in the habit of paying a couple times, how do you suddenly ask them to pay?

If someone offered to take me to a pool that required a paid fee guest pass, I would always offer to pay my own way, and if the host refused to accept my money I would offer to buy everyone snacks at the snack bar.


If I offered to bring a guest to my pool, I would always pay for that guest, otherwise I wouldn't be inviting them.

Anonymous wrote:A twatwaffle. (!)

not a twatwaffle, a guy who could kick his/her ass if necessary (sarcastic truth), albeit such a waste of time and energy on an internet tough guy/girl.

A twatwaffle. (!)