Anonymous
Post 05/31/2013 10:23     Subject: Am I being a "martyr"?
Anonymous wrote:Wow. There's a brat in this story but it isn't your angel of a DD.


+1. WTF?!?! I hope you have a therapy fund for your 17 year old.
Anonymous
Post 05/31/2013 08:13     Subject: Re:Am I being a "martyr"?
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:Everyone is attacking here, but I wouldn't leave a 17 year old alone with 4 kids. That's not responsible, really. OP should have paid for a baby sitter. OP really loses all credibility by having multiple baby daddies, of course. But If this were a widowed catholic woman with 6 children from the same father, people would expect the oldest DD to take on a lot more responsibility here. When I was growing up in the 60's and 70's, the oldest absolutely had to do the things the OP is describing. That said, OP has been reproductively reckless.


Are you serious???? At 17YO, I was watching my younger siblings - walking them home from school, etc. as was every other 17YO I know who had younger siblings. And this was in the 60's and 70's. How old do you think the babysitter would have been?

Well, her daughter IS doing it and the mother who is sprinkling out these babies is showing no appreciation for it. We all HELPED with our younger siblings but even I, with VERY old school parents, was not commanded to schlep my infant siblings back and forth to the mall if I wanted to go. A widow is a LOT different than a baby mama. Come on!


1960s Sainted Catholic Widow (or Virtual Widow due to alcoholic/non-functional Dad) wouldn't have made a 17 y/o schlep four other under-6 kids to the doctors and made them entertain themselves there -- the daughter would've been allowed to stay home and the kids could've watched TV or run around outside.

If we're going to go all old-school, wouldn't a 6-12 y/o been allowed to run off to the park 2-3 blocks away and play or just run off and visit a friend?
Anonymous
Post 05/31/2013 05:13     Subject: Am I being a "martyr"?
So Trolly Polly, you said that 17 year old dd is on summer break and helping with the kids because your vacation doesn't start until June 14. Who the hell took care of a 2nos old, a 19mos old, and 3yr old twins when 17 yr old was in school? And why wasn't the 6 year old in school?

Try again Troll.
Anonymous
Post 05/30/2013 22:43     Subject: Am I being a "martyr"?
Anonymous wrote:OP here, I just took them all because she had already dressed them and had them fed. Also, during the doctors appointment she took them to the park downstairs and about a mile away. The kids are 2 mos, 19 mos (one at the appt), 3 yr old twins, and a 6 yr old. And she had a few toys that she packed to bring, I thought they would be okay in the waiting room. [/quote

You're fucking awful OP. No one is saying she shouldn't help. But you take advantage of her. Being a nanny to FOUR young kids - and close together at that- cleaning and other chores . . . for $70 a week???? You should be ashamed of yourself. DEEPLY ashamed. This is your home and your choice to have more children than you can handle. Again, asking for help and for her to pitch in is one thing. But, acting as a second parent is something else.

As for the question at issue, you are 100% in the wrong.
Anonymous
Post 05/30/2013 22:31     Subject: Am I being a "martyr"?
Anonymous wrote:OP here. I decided to have a conversation with my DD. I apologized for sometimes using her as a second parent.


However, if I am a single mom who can support all my kids financially, does it matter that I have children with an absentee father?


I'm sure planned parenthood will be very happy to help your family.
Anonymous
Post 05/30/2013 22:26     Subject: Am I being a "martyr"?
Because you said:here, I need youth babysit, but I want youto do it in a setting that brings out the worst in all the kids and makes it as hard as possible to do a good job. You tried to control everything and you don't trust your daughter. No wonder you were stressed, but it is your own doing.
Anonymous
Post 05/30/2013 22:21     Subject: Am I being a "martyr"?
Michelle Dugger? Is that you?
Anonymous
Post 05/30/2013 22:00     Subject: Am I being a "martyr"?
Anonymous wrote:OP here. I decided to have a conversation with my DD. I apologized for sometimes using her as a second parent.


However, if I am a single mom who can support all my kids financially, does it matter that I have children with an absentee father?



Applying for and receiving welfare does not count as "supporting" your kid financially
Anonymous
Post 05/30/2013 21:24     Subject: Am I being a "martyr"?
Anonymous wrote:Why did you make them all come to the appointment? Thats absurd.

Your DD is right.


+1

Your family plan depends on the labor of the oldest, yet you don't use that labor in a reasonable way. She should have stayed home with the other kids while you went. Yes, you are trying to be a martyr but aren't actually one since she is doing most of the work.
Anonymous
Post 05/30/2013 20:34     Subject: Re:Am I being a "martyr"?
have 6 kids, my 17 yr old is the eldest and she is awesome about helping to raise the little


Totally fake. No one says this.
Anonymous
Post 05/30/2013 20:30     Subject: Re:Am I being a "martyr"?
If you are using your oldest child as a substitute for that absentee father (and you are), then yes -- it matters. Hire a nanny. It's not your child's job to be the second parent to her half-siblings.
Anonymous
Post 05/30/2013 20:29     Subject: Am I being a "martyr"?
Anonymous wrote:Im 99% sure this is the troll jeff has been considering blocking.


+1
Anonymous
Post 05/30/2013 20:28     Subject: Am I being a "martyr"?
OP here. I decided to have a conversation with my DD. I apologized for sometimes using her as a second parent.


However, if I am a single mom who can support all my kids financially, does it matter that I have children with an absentee father?
Anonymous
Post 05/30/2013 19:26     Subject: Am I being a "martyr"?
Anonymous wrote:Troll-ee-oo-lee-o!


Definitely!
Anonymous
Post 05/30/2013 17:41     Subject: Am I being a "martyr"?
Troll-ee-oo-lee-o!