Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Showed this thread to my proudly openly gay brother.

He said it was odd that the posters who are calling gay actually seem more reasonable about it. He said that the people who are going out of their way to insist that certain conduct was not gay seem to be in denial – like they are afraid of the label. He said that these people seem to be buying into the negative connotation more than the seemingly “close minded” people who only see gay and straight.

He also said that he sure he knows some of your DHs.

That's interesting. I showed it to my gay BIL and he says a few homosexual experiences aren't enough to make one 'gay'. He said that if people have attraction to only one sex, that's homosexual. If they're attracted to both sexes, they're bisexual. He also said it's not unusual for a person to be bisexual at one time and then change to either gay or heterosexual. Preferences can change.

I don't think anyone making the non-gay argument is a bigot or has problems with the 'label', it's just not the correct label. My kids have special needs and I feel this issue keenly. I have no problem with people knowing what my kids' 'labels' because that's how their disabilities are best described. There are overlapping symptoms between different 'labels' (think ADHD and ASD) that may lead a person to think my child has a different label than the one diagnoses but that would be incorrect. In the same way, homosexual experience doesn't necessarily indicate sexual preference. "Gay" describes someone's preference, not their experience.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:So would someone who is gay today but had heterosexual relationships in the past have his gayness questioned because of his prior heterosexual involvements?

The truth pisses you off. Gay trumps everything else. Once you're gay you stay. You're reverse psychology is illogical and WRONG. Ask any gay man today who's out as gay if they had hetero relationships. They'll say yes and they'll say they're gay. No one questions that. But, they do question the reverse. Sorry. Life isn't fair. You're parents didn't teach you that?

It's like the one drop rule. If you have any black blood in the family tree, you're black!

Anonymous wrote:I prefer a DH or BF that wouldn't have a gay experience.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Showed this thread to my proudly openly gay brother.

He said it was odd that the posters who are calling gay actually seem more reasonable about it. He said that the people who are going out of their way to insist that certain conduct was not gay seem to be in denial – like they are afraid of the label. He said that these people seem to be buying into the negative connotation more than the seemingly “close minded” people who only see gay and straight.

He also said that he sure he knows some of your DHs.

That's interesting. I showed it to my gay BIL and he says a few homosexual experiences aren't enough to make one 'gay'. He said that if people have attraction to only one sex, that's homosexual. If they're attracted to both sexes, they're bisexual. He also said it's not unusual for a person to be bisexual at one time and then change to either gay or heterosexual. Preferences can change.

I don't think anyone making the non-gay argument is a bigot or has problems with the 'label', it's just not the correct label. My kids have special needs and I feel this issue keenly. I have no problem with people knowing what my kids' 'labels' because that's how their disabilities are best described. There are overlapping symptoms between different 'labels' (think ADHD and ASD) that may lead a person to think my child has a different label than the one diagnoses but that would be incorrect. In the same way, homosexual experience doesn't necessarily indicate sexual preference. "Gay" describes someone's preference, not their experience.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Showed this thread to my proudly openly gay brother.

He said it was odd that the posters who are calling gay actually seem more reasonable about it. He said that the people who are going out of their way to insist that certain conduct was not gay seem to be in denial – like they are afraid of the label. He said that these people seem to be buying into the negative connotation more than the seemingly “close minded” people who only see gay and straight.

He also said that he sure he knows some of your DHs.

That's interesting. I showed it to my gay BIL and he says a few homosexual experiences aren't enough to make one 'gay'. He said that if people have attraction to only one sex, that's homosexual. If they're attracted to both sexes, they're bisexual. He also said it's not unusual for a person to be bisexual at one time and then change to either gay or heterosexual. Preferences can change.

Anonymous wrote:Showed this thread to my proudly openly gay brother.

He said it was odd that the posters who are calling gay actually seem more reasonable about it. He said that the people who are going out of their way to insist that certain conduct was not gay seem to be in denial – like they are afraid of the label. He said that these people seem to be buying into the negative connotation more than the seemingly “close minded” people who only see gay and straight.

He also said that he sure he knows some of your DHs.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:So would someone who is gay today but had heterosexual relationships in the past have his gayness questioned because of his prior heterosexual involvements?

The truth pisses you off. Gay trumps everything else. Once you're gay you stay. You're reverse psychology is illogical and WRONG. Ask any gay man today who's out as gay if they had hetero relationships. They'll say yes and they'll say they're gay. No one questions that. But, they do question the reverse. Sorry. Life isn't fair. You're parents didn't teach you that?

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I'm asking seriously - if you try something once. one time. once. and aren't into it. that is not gay.

and for the gay brother (thanks for speaking for all gays btw ) no one is perpetuating that it's bad to be gay. But rather the opposite. That we think it's all good - which is why we try it - and find out it's not for us. You know, same way a gay teen tries it with a girl once, and discovers its not for him.

Good grief. every try something and don't like it? Seriously, tell me what's the difference.

PP with the gay brother. He did not purport to speak for ALL gays. He spoke for himself and I posted it.

You are saying it is the opposite? I disagree. People are arguing to the teeth they are not "gay" although they committed one or more homosexual acts.
What's wrong with being called gay? People are going out of their way to deflect the label - like something is wrong with it.

Frankly, I do not care what people do in the privacy of their bedroom. Just be upfront about it.

People are arguing with being called gay because they currently do not fantasize about other men, love the scent and feel of a woman, can't wait to bone their wives and do not secretly wish she was some dude - they don't look at other men and think they're hot, but can fully appreciate a sexy woman walking down the sidewalk with her ass swaying slightly and her tits bouncing. That's why they're arguing about it. Clearly they have no problem with it if they've tried it and they wouldn't have a problem calling themselves gay if they wanted to be with men in mind and body. But they don't. How is that difficult to understand?

Anonymous wrote:Sounds like they're gay dudes who get off on women. They're on that side of the gay spectrum okay with a pootnanny every now and again.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I'm asking seriously - if you try something once. one time. once. and aren't into it. that is not gay.

and for the gay brother (thanks for speaking for all gays btw ) no one is perpetuating that it's bad to be gay. But rather the opposite. That we think it's all good - which is why we try it - and find out it's not for us. You know, same way a gay teen tries it with a girl once, and discovers its not for him.

Good grief. every try something and don't like it? Seriously, tell me what's the difference.

PP with the gay brother. He did not purport to speak for ALL gays. He spoke for himself and I posted it.

You are saying it is the opposite? I disagree. People are arguing to the teeth they are not "gay" although they committed one or more homosexual acts.
What's wrong with being called gay? People are going out of their way to deflect the label - like something is wrong with it.

Frankly, I do not care what people do in the privacy of their bedroom. Just be upfront about it.

People are arguing with being called gay because they currently do not fantasize about other men, love the scent and feel of a woman, can't wait to bone their wives and do not secretly wish she was some dude - they don't look at other men and think they're hot, but can fully appreciate a sexy woman walking down the sidewalk with her ass swaying slightly and her tits bouncing. That's why they're arguing about it. Clearly they have no problem with it if they've tried it and they wouldn't have a problem calling themselves gay if they wanted to be with men in mind and body. But they don't. How is that difficult to understand?