http://www.yoursmartmoneymoves.com/2012/09/14/how-much-should-i-give-for-a-bar-mitzvah-gift/

Most PRACTCAL ADVICE!!!!

Anonymous wrote:Sounds more like the parents impressing other parents rather than a gift for a child/young adult.

+1

$54

We just received an invitation to a close friend's grandsons Bar Mitzvah. We will not be attending the ceremony as it is out of state. The Bar Mitzvah boy, as part of his project, is doing a bicycle ride for JDRF (juvenile diabetes research foundation) and he is a Type 1 diabetic. His website has requested in lieu of gifts, etc. that donations be made to his ride. He needs to raise $3500. Would a contribution in multiples of $18.00 be appropriate or should we give beyond that? My thought was $72.00.

Even before my bar mitzvah 68 years ago, I learned what I still consider an important lesson. It is that it was that the amount of the check or the cost of the gift that was not important. It was the thoughts and wishes, and the friendship and love that was being conveyed that counted. I valued the person who was sharing an important event in my life. I knew that many of my friends, and even some relatives, had very limited resources and their gifts meant just as much as those from the few wealthy wealthy people who attended. For my grandson's bar mitzvah, I gave as much as I could afford as I knew it would be for his future college expenses. I believe that he learned from his parents that there are more important things in life than money, and he is a caring and thoughtful person.

For a friend's child's bat mitzvah out-of-state that we could not attend, we sent a gift card to a store popular with teens in the amount of $54.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Multiple of $18 ... which multiple depends on how close you are to the family!

How about a classmate?

When I was bat Mitzvahed my classmates got me the kind of presents you'd give for a birthday -- earrings, cards, etc.

My parents did an over-the-top black tie evening party and relatives gave me as much as $500 (in the early 80s). The kids were just kid guests , though. If your child is going to a friend's bar mitzvah there's no expectation of a cash gift (expecting gifts is tacky anyway).

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I don't think the point of the event is to enrich the college savings account. Perhaps it becomes that for grandparents and close family members. But for the bus stop buddy it is a birthday gift..an itunes card..a book..earrings.

actually your wrong, the best gift you can give someone on a bar mitzvah is a check for money that is a multiple of 18. since most bar mitzvah's cost a LOT of mney to throw, some of that money goes to paying for the party the rest goes to the chid orto their college fund. gifts are not usually appropriate unless you are a close friend of the bar mitzvah boy

*You're the one who's wrong here. As a Jew, I can say that anyone with class, regardless of faith, would be appreciative of your presence and whatever gift you give, if you can. Those parents who throw lavish events to impress their own peers and then take part of the child's monetary gifts to pay for the event are classless and completely miss the point of the event. The gifts people give the child are to congratulate him/her for an important accomplishment, NOT to help financially irresponsible and vain parents defray the costs of a party thrown outside of their means.

Give what you can, and give with your heart. Multiples of 18 are a great nod to the Jewish culture and traditions. That is all.