Anonymous
03/15/2013 09:17
Subject: Re:Does anyone elses spouse stay out overnight frequently
Anonymous wrote:quick question op: if he were to tell you that he's not coming home because he's hooking up, would you be okay with that? be honest here.
Yes. As long as he's honest, and it's just sex (no emotional relationship)
Anonymous
03/14/2013 20:55
Subject: Does anyone elses spouse stay out overnight frequently
For those who are saying this is not an alcohol problem because it "only" happens once a month think again. This guy sounds like a binge drinker/alcoholic. And even if he is not setting out to hookup with others I would imagine there has been more than one occasion where he had sex with someone else and does not even remember it. OP in a few years, come back to this thread, read it again and get the divorce you should have gotten years ago.
Anonymous
03/14/2013 11:48
Subject: Does anyone elses spouse stay out overnight frequently
I can see this *maybe* happening once in awhile on a big drunk-and-stupid occasion like a best friend's bachelor party, but if it happens on a regular basis, this is a problem. And I'm someone who goes out a lot and has friends who party pretty hard. I don't know anyone whose husband stays out all night unless they've cleared it in advance. (like for the aforementioned big stupid drunk bachelor party.)
Anonymous
03/14/2013 00:35
Subject: Does anyone elses spouse stay out overnight frequently
Anonymous wrote:This is something that is really aggravating to me. This happens about once a month. DH will go out, and tell me he will be home around a certain time. (I'm home with our baby). But, he never comes home. I end up worrying that he's been in an accident, or something, and not being able to sleep for the worry, he doesn't answer his phone. 100% of the time, the next day he'll apologize and say he accidently fell asleep (because he'd been drinking) at so-and-so's house. Now, I know he IS actually where he says he is (unless his friends are covering for him, which I don't really think they would do). I'm really getting sick of it. Especially, since I'm 100% okay with him staying overnight at friends houses, especially if he's been drinking, as I don't want him trying to drive home. All I want is for him to notify me, so I won't worry. He treats it so nonchalantly, like I'm making a big deal about it when it isn't a big deal.
Would this bother you too? Am I being too controlling by wanting to know he's safe where he is? Am I blowing this issue out of porportion?
He's fucking other people. Are you staying or are you going?
... We don't judge.
Anonymous
03/13/2013 23:47
Subject: Re:Does anyone elses spouse stay out overnight frequently
My husband and I have been together for 12 yrs married for 10. He has NEVER done this before. Yes he goes out with his friends, and has a couple of drinks and then either takes the metro home or a cab if he's intoxicated. Since we have had the boys he's NEVER needed to take a cab home because he knows he has responsibilities and owns up to them.
Sounds like you need to have a deep discussion with your DH, something sounds off to me. I'm not saying your are naive, but this does not sound right! if you have a baby how about you offer to pick him up from where ever he is. Put the sleeping baby in the car and check it out for yourself.
Sounds like you need to have a deep discussion with your DH, something sounds off to me. I'm not saying your are naive, but this does not sound right! if you have a baby how about you offer to pick him up from where ever he is. Put the sleeping baby in the car and check it out for yourself.
Anonymous
03/13/2013 23:43
Subject: Re:Does anyone elses spouse stay out overnight frequently
quick question op: if he were to tell you that he's not coming home because he's hooking up, would you be okay with that? be honest here.
Anonymous
03/13/2013 16:24
Subject: Does anyone elses spouse stay out overnight frequently
I knew you were poly. Who else would put up with such disrespect? Where are the open communication, negotiation and boundaries that open relationships are famed for? 
And the solution is that someone else will text for him? Poor child.
And the solution is that someone else will text for him? Poor child.
Anonymous
03/13/2013 15:51
Subject: Re:Does anyone elses spouse stay out overnight frequently
Anonymous wrote:What a great solution: shift the burden of informing you that he's crashed out/on a bender to a friend. Really, it's perfect. Now he has zero responsibility and you have lost your right to complain when friend doesn't text you. GL!
This X1000.
Anonymous
03/13/2013 15:08
Subject: Does anyone elses spouse stay out overnight frequently
Anonymous wrote:Anonymous wrote:Anonymous wrote:Sorry but you must be a troll...from your last post I cannot believe you are for real.
lol, I'm not a troll. Believe it or not, there are people out there who don't need 100% monogamy to be in a loving relationship. A little variety once in a while can be nice.
Why are you defending the great "loving" relationship you created an entire THREAD to complain about and get advice about?
I complained about ONE issue, that doesn't mean our entire relationshpi sucks
Anonymous
03/13/2013 14:55
Subject: Re:Does anyone elses spouse stay out overnight frequently
OP, I think most of the posters here are really uptight. Seems like you two talked and worked out a reasonable compromise that you're both OK with. My DW is pretty easy-going (though no open relationship thing.. never approached the topic) and I think our relationship is stronger because of it.
Anonymous
03/13/2013 14:39
Subject: Does anyone elses spouse stay out overnight frequently
Alcoholic.
Anonymous
03/13/2013 13:33
Subject: Does anyone elses spouse stay out overnight frequently
He has a drinking problem, that's apparent. This marriage is in trouble if you guys don't sort this out. Please don't raise your child in an environment where you aren't a team and there is so little respect that one spouse feels no need to explain his regular absence. I'm sorry, OP. I'm sad for you. I'm sad that you felt that on some level this is acceptable enough behavior to warrant asking about it on an anonymous message board. You should know with ever fiber of your being that it's not and not require strangers to tell you.
Anonymous
03/13/2013 13:29
Subject: Does anyone elses spouse stay out overnight frequently
Anonymous wrote:Anonymous wrote:Sorry but you must be a troll...from your last post I cannot believe you are for real.
lol, I'm not a troll. Believe it or not, there are people out there who don't need 100% monogamy to be in a loving relationship. A little variety once in a while can be nice.
Why are you defending the great "loving" relationship you created an entire THREAD to complain about and get advice about?
Anonymous
03/13/2013 12:12
Subject: Does anyone elses spouse stay out overnight frequently
Sure, there are bisexual people out there OP. But they still have to be respectful of their relationships and act like adults, especially when they have children. That's your problem. He's not giving that to you. Period. He's punting responsibility. He's seriously going out with the intention of getting so trashed he can't go home and can't even text you himself to let you know he's OK? This is beyond absurd.
Anonymous
03/13/2013 12:05
Subject: Does anyone elses spouse stay out overnight frequently
Anonymous wrote:Anonymous wrote:Anonymous wrote:Sorry but you must be a troll...from your last post I cannot believe you are for real.
lol, I'm not a troll. Believe it or not, there are people out there who don't need 100% monogamy to be in a loving relationship. A little variety once in a while can be nice.
Oh and now you have seen other women and are apparently a lesbian? I think you are a pathological liar.
I never said I was a lesbian. I'm NOT a lesbian. I supposed you don't realize that there are bisexual people out there?