in college my mom would leave messages on my answering machine that had been written down by my dad. so, then she would read them into machine with the emphasis on all the wrong syllables: tim-o-tHEE called from Ma-REE-land to wish you a HA-ppy birth-DAY. Yes, she was a drinker.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:"In SF most everyone is white, Asian, or South American."

South American????

What do you call Mexico and the countries below that? South America.

First, I refer to them by the country name. Second, if I need to refer by region or a large group, I might say "Mexico (since Mexico is in North America) and Central America" or "Central and South America."

Anonymous wrote:My mother likes to make up pneumonics to remember things. She was so proud of her memory device to remember my aunt's phone number. The exchange was the same but the last four digits were the year my aunt got married (1987) and the year before my sister was born (1965)....also known as 8765. I told her I thought counting backwards from 8 would be easier.

I had to reread this three times to understand- but then I LOLed

"one crab dog don't spoil the show"....

The "jean" comment reminded me of a friend's mother (who is european). She called peanut butter "peanuts butter" but with her accent, it sounded like "penis butter."

Anonymous wrote:My mother calles jeans "jean" without the s - like I want to go buy a jean or look at her jean. It drives me mad!!!!

Is she a foreign? I just saw a clip of a foreign woman trying to say "freebies" but saying "frisbees" instead.

I get way more sideways turds than a person should get. And if my mother described the smell of her nether regions, I really would probably die right there. Or wish I had.

At Xmas, my MIL told my kids 5,8 and 10 at the time, that in Hawaii, the government had authorized used car lots to dispose of cars by burying them in the ground and that it was considered good for the soil because it put iron into the ground, which made the ground more nutritious for plants. Sounds eerily plausible, like most of her stories.

"All second-born girls look just like their father and are the prettiest."

--to me, first born girl, who looks totally like my dad.

Anonymous wrote:My mother calles jeans "jean" without the s - like I want to go buy a jean or look at her jean. It drives me mad!!!!

This might win for me. It's son inanely insignificant and yet annoying!

"I know you're doing ok. Your husband makes good money."

I work FT, 50% of our HHI.

When heading to an inaugural ball...

"Maybe you can find some other housewives to talk to."

Huh?

Anonymous wrote:My mom has left some classic messages on the answering machine. In grad school my roommates wouldn't let me erase them. In fact we'd have people over, serve wine and play them to everyone's delight.

In no particular order: recently we were talking about going camping in california. Mom starts in on how dangerous campgrounds are. "Tons of children get abducted from camp grounds every year." When I told her that I seriously doubted that she said "Oh no. you don't know these things, but I do. It happens all.the.time."

My mother has of course never set foot on a campground.


WHen I was about 33--mom left a rambling 10 minute message left on machine about a friend's daughter's wedding she went to and how the bride was so fat, but amazingly enough she managed "to catch herself" a husband...and then proceeded to tell me that I missed the first round of men and would have to be wait around for the leftovers (divorced, widowed, etc).

when I was pregnant and told that there were some potential genetic issues "you should have an abortion. you can't handle a defective child." (my child is perfect!).

That sounds kinda weird.

My mother calles jeans "jean" without the s - like I want to go buy a jean or look at her jean. It drives me mad!!!!

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:"I saw on myface that Shelly had a baby"

Myface = facebook.
She's also called it Facelift.

Aww, your little mommy is so cute! She's trying to combine MySpace and Facebook. When my mom joined FB, she couldn't get straight the distinction between posting publicly on people's walls, and sending them private emails. She wrote on my wall, thinking it was private, "What's poking? I think I just poked myself." So I wrote back, "Mom! Poking yourself is really something for you and Dad to keep to yourselves."

That's okay, I have a totally and completely clueless 48 year old friend who calls it "The Facebook." This whole thread is killing me.

My mom has left some classic messages on the answering machine. In grad school my roommates wouldn't let me erase them. In fact we'd have people over, serve wine and play them to everyone's delight.

In no particular order: recently we were talking about going camping in california. Mom starts in on how dangerous campgrounds are. "Tons of children get abducted from camp grounds every year." When I told her that I seriously doubted that she said "Oh no. you don't know these things, but I do. It happens all.the.time."

My mother has of course never set foot on a campground.


WHen I was about 33--mom left a rambling 10 minute message left on machine about a friend's daughter's wedding she went to and how the bride was so fat, but amazingly enough she managed "to catch herself" a husband...and then proceeded to tell me that I missed the first round of men and would have to be wait around for the leftovers (divorced, widowed, etc).

when I was pregnant and told that there were some potential genetic issues "you should have an abortion. you can't handle a defective child." (my child is perfect!).