Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:The worst thing we ever received was a Wiggles guitar. We lived. If you are in the mood to strike back at someone and don't want to be obvious, I highly recommend buying a kit of instruments. Or just buy a vuvezela and put it in the kid's stocking. They won't know what hit them.

OMG, my brother and his wife hated this thing so much, they left it at my parents house one year when they came to visit. Then, when my daughter was old enough, she proved just how annoying that thing could be. It was rivaled a couple of years later by a "bratz" keyboard that I managed to hide for a couple of years, but just now hit the donation heap.

Yeah, the vuvezela. Remember a few years ago when the World Cup or something was in South Africa and everyone was blowing those weird things that made all the noise that most of us had never seen before? A vuvezela.

Perfect gift- promotes cross-cultural awareness and everything.

Anonymous wrote:The worst thing we ever received was a Wiggles guitar. We lived. If you are in the mood to strike back at someone and don't want to be obvious, I highly recommend buying a kit of instruments. Or just buy a vuvezela and put it in the kid's stocking. They won't know what hit them.

OMG, my brother and his wife hated this thing so much, they left it at my parents house one year when they came to visit. Then, when my daughter was old enough, she proved just how annoying that thing could be. It was rivaled a couple of years later by a "bratz" keyboard that I managed to hide for a couple of years, but just now hit the donation heap.

Anonymous wrote:Another vote for that horrible talking dog. I occasionally wondered if the damn thing was possessed because it would occasionally, out of nowhere, say "You're my friend! Hug me!" -- despite being locked away in a dark cabinet. HATE that thing.

ours is possessed too. we'll be sitting there watching tv hours after ds has put it away and gone to bed, and it will yell "I LOOOOOOOOOOOOVE YOU" from the cabinet. INSANITY.

This is a long thread, so I haven't read it all. But the Dora microphone is awful. There's no volume control (like many Dora toys) and it had horrible feedback if DC got her mouth with four inches of the microphone. It's one of the very few toys I have ever thrown away.

Toys that require my assistance are also very annoying. If I need to be involved for my kid to be able to play it, I'm annoyed. Unless it's hungry hungry hippos - b/c that game is the shit and Im really good at it.

Anonymous wrote:I want to take a fucking blow torch and hammer to this thing:

http://www.target.com/p/disney-princess-ride-on-toy/-/A-10270870

So, when the kid rides on it, it plays music and blows a horn. And the noise is VERY loud. And, additionally, it is possessed. I put it in a closet recently while my kid wasn't looking. It randomly starts playing the music and blowing the horn while in the closet - I can close a damn door clear on the other side of my house and music will start playing from it. I loathe that thing.

I just want to point out that this thing comes with a two year replacement plan. Just in case something WERE to *ahem* happen to it. Just $4.

And to add this to the discussion - http://www.target.com/p/disney-minnie-plane-ride-on-toy/-/A-14227618?reco=Rec|pdp|14227618|ClickCP|item_page.vertical_1&lnk=Rec|pdp|ClickCP|item_page.vertical_1

It looks like it has everything the Disney Princess ride on has and more - there's a moving propeller on the front! For some reason, there's no replacement plan on that one, though.

I want to take a fucking blow torch and hammer to this thing:

http://www.target.com/p/disney-princess-ride-on-toy/-/A-10270870

So, when the kid rides on it, it plays music and blows a horn. And the noise is VERY loud. And, additionally, it is possessed. I put it in a closet recently while my kid wasn't looking. It randomly starts playing the music and blowing the horn while in the closet - I can close a damn door clear on the other side of my house and music will start playing from it. I loathe that thing.

Thank you OP! I needed that laugh today!!!

This thread is AMAZING.

If you're going the instrument route, make sure to include a penny whistle.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:This is more subtle. It seems like it would be a good toy - made in the USA, no batteries, no lights, made of wood. How bad could that be? A SET OF SOLID WOODEN BALLS AND A HAMMER made by Melissa and Doug.

First you bang on the ball with the hammer and then when the ball pops out of the bottom you throw it across the room. Then you are left with a two year old with a wooden hammer. And you know what happens when you have a hammer? Everything looks like a nail.

http://www.amazon.com/Melissa-Doug-Deluxe-Pound-Tower/dp/B000VO3GME

Some one got us this. It is the most obnoxious gift ever. What the heck purpose other than to drive adults crazy?

Now, my girls love this. They chase the balls down and put them back and play over and over again. I'm not saying it's not annoying to others, just that there's a potential that this one would work out well. So maybe best to go with something else for OP's purposes (which I am enjoying immensely).

I echo the musical instrument pack, particularly with a harmonica. But - tie a kazoo on top. And wrap it in the 'shiny' paper Target currently has in its Dollar section. Little did I realize, no two year old can tear it (oops). Just to add some frustration at the front end.

I am unable to find a picture or link to the world's most annoying toy ever - a purple "radio" that plays incessantly loud music and has no off switch. It was given to my girls by their uncle while we were on vacation at his house. I was kind of hoping TSA would find a reason to seize it on our way home (I suspected it would be a problem, but there was no "polite" way to leave it at our relatives' house, as we don't visit often enough to leave toys there for future use.) It is currently in our basement. If OP would like it, I'd be more than happy to make it available for re-gifting. Just let me know how to get in touch.

There's an idea - OP, if you want to set up a PO Box for a few weeks, I bet we can make you a WONDERFUL present.

Ball pit http://www.toysrus.com/family/index.jsp?categoryId=2648589

Matchbox Smokey the Fire Truck. Ours came compliments of the kids' childless aunt and uncle.

It's a fire truck, so you can count on the obsession to trigger lots of playtime.

AND it's interactive. A loud, Brooklyn-tinged voice. Motion sensors. Sound activation. Flashing lights and sirens.

AND it shoots little balls. Ideally during dinner prep.

AND it sprays water. Usually on your furniture.

But wait! There's more! It's also just large and bulky enough not to fit conveniently in with the other trucks. Not to mention the cleverly hidden OFF switch -- took us months to find ours. But that gave us the privilege of hearing his 95 loud-mouthed phrases and 4 cheery songs.

http://www.amazon.com/Matchbox-Smokey-The-Fire-Truck/dp/B004U53AA8/ref=sr_1_1?ie=UTF8&qid=1354558974&sr=8-1&keywords=fire+truck+shoots+balls

You're welcome.

Anything that plays "It's a small world after all". What an ear worm! My husband hates it (got got stuck in the exhibit at Disneyland). Once in your head, it just doesn't leave for weeks.

Moonsand.

Satan created it to punish us.