Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Let's face it: its not just Americans or any one culture. Irresponsible parents who want to make something "all about them" or "isn't Johnny especially special".....No, actually he's not, neither are you. You were invited as a guest, so act accordingly. Flying or going to a wedding or going to a gorgeous restaurant is not a national event free for all. It involves other people. SURPRISE.

I always find it odd that people think their every dining experience is so special and can't be spoiled in any manner. Is it because you can't really afford it and it is really that special?

It's not the money, it's the time. I have small kids too. My husband and I don't go to romantic, expensive dinners every week so when we do, we want to be able to have a night without squealing and running around. That's why we left the kids at home with grandpa.

So go to dinner at 8 when there won't be kids around, and go to places that aren't kid friendly. If you go at 5:30, my husband and I (who go out to eat often with our 3 year old) will be there.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Maybe I'm so self-centered or perhaps sympathetic or whatever, but children just don't really bother me unless they are my own and acting up. On an airplane if I am travelling without mine, I might put on headphones if there are children being loud. In a restaurant on a date-night with DH, I am so into my husband, I probably wouldn't notice any children. I had a very formal and expensive wedding ($80k sounds cheap to me), and I know there were plenty of children there (my little cousins, family friends, a bridesmaid who brought her newborn, etc.), but honestly, I don't really remember anyone being bothered by them in the least. By the way, I am American so it may just be a personality thing.

I'm with you. I don't even notice kids when I'm out. They don't even register. Maybe because I have three WILD boys that I'm used to just tuning out the screaming, squealing, and occasional object flying through the air. Come to think of it I can't recall one single incident where a child annoyed me in a public space.

Anonymous wrote:I think there's something to the OP's point and that's it not all just about children going berserk. I think it's more common in American culture than some others for there to be more segregation between generations in general. I'm Hispanic, and where I come from most events are multigenerational. For example, holiday parties are always full-family events, even NYEve celebrations, with everybody from grandparents to grandkids partying past midnight, even if it's a more formal party. We have quinceanera parties where 3 or 4 generations are on the dance floor together. I grew up dancing salsa and merengue with dad, uncles, cousins. My husband always spends some time dancing with my mom at Christmas parties. Parents were even invited and partying the night away at my senior prom!

In cultures like mine, there is just a lot more socializing between the generations and therefore a greater tolerance for having kids around. As a result, you're less likely to get the evil eye if your kid acts up; people seem more inclined to give it a pass and not feel like your kid is a personal insult to your "adult time."

Anonymous wrote:I haven't read all the replies, but I am an American, and I agree with you. I will say this attitude varies regionally and probably with social class. The posts I read on DCUM are far far more hostile towards children's mere presence than I experienced growing up in a fairly small southern town.
I don't understand the need to constantly partition off children from the rest of life. I'm not talking about badly behaved children-- just children period. Sure, there are some events that are not child friendly, but many people on DCUM act like traveling with small kids or having them present at baby showers/funerals/etc is at best highly inconvenient and at worst unacceptable. I just don't get it, and I felt the same way long before I was a parent. Kids are people, too.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Maybe I'm so self-centered or perhaps sympathetic or whatever, but children just don't really bother me unless they are my own and acting up. On an airplane if I am travelling without mine, I might put on headphones if there are children being loud. In a restaurant on a date-night with DH, I am so into my husband, I probably wouldn't notice any children. I had a very formal and expensive wedding ($80k sounds cheap to me), and I know there were plenty of children there (my little cousins, family friends, a bridesmaid who brought her newborn, etc.), but honestly, I don't really remember anyone being bothered by them in the least. By the way, I am American so it may just be a personality thing.

I'm with you. I don't even notice kids when I'm out. They don't even register. Maybe because I have three WILD boys that I'm used to just tuning out the screaming, squealing, and occasional object flying through the air. Come to think of it I can't recall one single incident where a child annoyed me in a public space.

Anonymous wrote:I must be American because I hate the experience of a culture where kids are everywhere all the time, at all hours of the night.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:And, by the way, I'm about as American as you get and had babies, toddlers, kids of all ages running around at my wedding. Most of my friends have done this as well.. and I won't be vulgar with a price tag, but very nice weddings.

YOU may have thought it was nice, PP.

But trust me when I say that once your guests leave, the gossip begins. And I am certain that people were commenting on the chaos that results from "child-friendly" weddings.

Anonymous wrote:Maybe I'm so self-centered or perhaps sympathetic or whatever, but children just don't really bother me unless they are my own and acting up. On an airplane if I am travelling without mine, I might put on headphones if there are children being loud. In a restaurant on a date-night with DH, I am so into my husband, I probably wouldn't notice any children. I had a very formal and expensive wedding ($80k sounds cheap to me), and I know there were plenty of children there (my little cousins, family friends, a bridesmaid who brought her newborn, etc.), but honestly, I don't really remember anyone being bothered by them in the least. By the way, I am American so it may just be a personality thing.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Let's face it: its not just Americans or any one culture. Irresponsible parents who want to make something "all about them" or "isn't Johnny especially special".....No, actually he's not, neither are you. You were invited as a guest, so act accordingly. Flying or going to a wedding or going to a gorgeous restaurant is not a national event free for all. It involves other people. SURPRISE.



I always find it odd that people think their every dining experience is so special and can't be spoiled in any manner. Is it because you can't really afford it and it is really that special?



It's not the money, it's the time. I have small kids too. My husband and I don't go to romantic, expensive dinners every week so when we do, we want to be able to have a night without squealing and running around. That's why we left the kids at home with grandpa.



So go to dinner at 8 when there won't be kids around, and go to places that aren't kid friendly. If you go at 5:30, my husband and I (who go out to eat often with our 3 year old) will be there.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:And, by the way, I'm about as American as you get and had babies, toddlers, kids of all ages running around at my wedding. Most of my friends have done this as well.. and I won't be vulgar with a price tag, but very nice weddings.

YOU may have thought it was nice, PP.

But trust me when I say that once your guests leave, the gossip begins. And I am certain that people were commenting on the chaos that results from "child-friendly" weddings.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:And, by the way, I'm about as American as you get and had babies, toddlers, kids of all ages running around at my wedding. Most of my friends have done this as well.. and I won't be vulgar with a price tag, but very nice weddings.

YOU may have thought it was nice, PP.

But trust me when I say that once your guests leave, the gossip begins. And I am certain that people were commenting on the chaos that results from "child-friendly" weddings.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Let's face it: its not just Americans or any one culture. Irresponsible parents who want to make something "all about them" or "isn't Johnny especially special".....No, actually he's not, neither are you. You were invited as a guest, so act accordingly. Flying or going to a wedding or going to a gorgeous restaurant is not a national event free for all. It involves other people. SURPRISE.

I always find it odd that people think their every dining experience is so special and can't be spoiled in any manner. Is it because you can't really afford it and it is really that special?

It's not the money, it's the time. I have small kids too. My husband and I don't go to romantic, expensive dinners every week so when we do, we want to be able to have a night without squealing and running around. That's why we left the kids at home with grandpa.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I must be American because I hate the experience of a culture where kids are everywhere all the time, at all hours of the night.

Then don't go to Wal-mart.

I've had the unfortunate experience to be so desparate enough to HAVE to go to a walmart at 11PM when nothing else was open and the amount of cranky, everly exhausted children that parents had dragged in there was pitiful.

What? I don't care if a kid is at Walmart at any hour. I'm not there for an adult experience.

Some cultures think you should take your small kids out to restaurants very late in the evening and just let them tizzy themselves to exhaustion. I don't care to be there for the tizzy.

If they are at wal-mart at 11, they were probably at Ruth Chris at 8.