I have been thinking about you and your daughter for two days now. Thank you for opening up and sharing with us. Because of your words, OP, I have made sure to shower my kids with hugs and tell them I love them so many times they are starting to suspect something is up with me. Because of you and your daughter I am letting the small things go and cherishing my time with my family.

You are a strong woman, OP, and I wish you more strength in the days to come. Please know that you and your daughter will continue to be in my thoughts and prayers.

I have hugged my child countless extra times since reading this, OP. You and your daughter are in my thoughts and prayers. I'm so very sorry for what you are both going through. Hugs back to you too.

Hugs to you OP and to the PP who lost her 3 YO. You are both in my thoughts and prayers.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Yours is the first voice she has ever known. Yours is the first touch she has ever felt. Your love has protected her and comforted her from her very beginning. She is so lucky to be loved by you. And, vice a versa. I am so sorry that you both are going through this. You both are in my thoughts and prayers.

I carry your heart with me (I carry it in
my heart) I am never without it (anywhere
I go you go, my dear; and whatever is done
by only me is your doing, my darling)
I fear
no fate (for you are my fate, my sweet ) I want
no world (for beautiful you are my world, my true)
and it’s you are whatever a moon has always meant
and whatever a sun will always sing is you
here is the deepest secret nobody knows
(here is the root of the root and the bud of the bud
and the sky of the sky of a tree called life; which grows
higher than soul can hope or mind can hide)

this keeps my tears flowing.
and this is the wonder that’s keeping the stars apart
I carry your heart (I carry it in my mine)


When I was in the hospital, I read this to him over and over.

Just beautiful. My 5 yr old just asked me why I'm crying, I'm feeling pain.

Anonymous wrote:OP, I'm so, so, so very sorry. My heart is breaking for you.

In addition to hugging your children today, everyone PLEASE sign up to be a bone marrow donor. Yes, it costs money, but wouldn't you all pay $50 to OP if it meant a cure for her beloved daughter??

Please. Do it. Be the Match. http://marrow.org/Home.aspx

I'm going to the site and am registering. We banked our son's cord because he's bi-racial - right now, I'm so sad, I can hardly think. OP - my heart is with you, and I am so sorry.

Big hugs, I cant even imagine what you are going through.

OP, hope that as I'm sending this you and your daughter are sleeping peacefully. You are in my thoughts and prayers tonight. So often these nights... Sending love and hugs.

OP just checking in and thinking of you

Anonymous wrote:OP, you've shown us all so much loving, caring, and grace during such an overwhelmingly difficult time for yourself. You are so inspiring and we are all so fortunate that you were willing to share so much with us. I will keep you and your daughter in my thoughts and will never forget you, although we've never met.

These are my thoughts as well. I am so glad that your cherished daughter is resting more comfortably and that you feel more supported and sustained OP.

For those who wish that there was something that they can do, please consider becoming an organ donor and sign up on the bone marrow registry. It really is giving the gift of life and you can do it in celebration of the power of a parent's love.

Sending wishes for peace and strength to you OP.

OP, you've shown us all so much loving, caring, and grace during such an overwhelmingly difficult time for yourself. You are so inspiring and we are all so fortunate that you were willing to share so much with us. I will keep you and your daughter in my thoughts and will never forget you, although we've never met.

OP, this site can bring out the ugliness of people, but if one fact is true, it is this: we are passionate people who unequivocally love our children. And, reading your original post, we relate: that could be me, and my child. And there's nothing that unites DCUM people more quickly, or strongly, than a message resonating such as yours. Walls down, issues and differences and bitterness aside, we're here to lend all of our support and prayers to you and your DC. Huge big (((((hugs))))) to you, this massive group of anonymous DCUMers are here to let you know that you're not alone. We're with you, every step of the way. May God bless you and your family.

OP I can't stop thinking about you and your daughter. What a special relationship you must have and what a strong person you must be. Thank you for sharing so much. You've really shifted my thinking today. Keeping you and your family in my heart

OP here again.

My daughter is settled in now and in much better shape pain-wise. She is not fully conscious, but she is free of the torment that had been plaguing her. I am, again, sitting next to her bed; but this time she is relaxed, her breaths deep and even. Her face so slack it reminds me of the baby she once was. I doubt she will be crying out for me, but still, I stroke her bangs back and squeeze her hand. I need her to know that I am still with her.

May I share with you a shift that has taken place within me since I first posted here in agony early Friday morning?

At that time I appeared (outwardly) to be functioning, but inside I was curled up in agony. I am ashamed to admit that pain and grief drove me inward and I was unable to see anything beyond my own and my daughter’s suffering. It felt like the world should revolve around that.

I know! It sounds so self-centered, but that is where I was.

Then I tossed that bottle into the ocean and received an unexpected tidal wave of support and encouragement. From complete strangers -- one even not in this country!

And to think that at first I was afraid to even check back on the thread due to a fear of being flamed.

Anyway, after reading the responses, I started to view life differently. Random encounters with passing strangers that normally wouldn’t even ping my radar became mysteries to me... was that cashier I just interacted with one of the people who posted so kindly on this thread? Was that waitress careless and inattentive because she, too, is struggling with something larger than whether or not I get a timely coffee refill?

This is not rocket science, but I am sorry to admit that up until now I never really gave much thought to what motivates other peoples’ behavior, good OR bad. Maybe that ticket-taker who I will meet only this one time in my life is secretly the person who took the time to write that kick-ass post that really sustained me at just the moment I needed it. Maybe that clerk who barely acknowledged me is barely keeping it together until her shift is over and she can rush back to her child’s bedside.

You just never know. I wish I could feel like there is a way I can adequately thank everyone who has posted such kind, encouraging messages to me. You all have truly shifted my paradigm and something good is going to come out of this. I don’t know what. And I know I have a whole lot of hurt ahead of me. But you have empowered me to survive it.

Your family is in my prayers. I am so sorry for what you are going through.

Sending good thoughts your way, op. hope your daughter is resting comfortably