Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I guess my question is this - why not be as nice and gracious as possible and do a quick thank you note? It is arguable that they're not 100 percent required if you give a nice oral thank you. But why not take the extra step and be as nice and polite as you possibly can?

Because, just like many things in life, it's not worth it to me to take that extra step. When baking cupcakes, sometimes I use a mix and sometimes I make that extra effort and make them from scratch. Sometimes I buy my plants from the nursery, sometimes I make the extra effort and grow them from seed. Sometimes I buy cheap products made in China, sometimes I pay extra and buy them Made In America. You may feel that it's worth the extra strep to write a thank you note when one isn't required and that's fine but you shouldn't be judgmental of those who don't choose to take the extra effort - just like you shouldn't judge people for making cupcakes from a mix. The important thing is that one gives thanks for a gift.

Bad analogy.

The true analogy here is "some people take the time to make cupcakes from scratch, other people use a mix, and still other people don't bother to make cupcakes at all because making cupcakes is stupid and pointless and no one really likes cupcakes they just toss them in the trash and making cupcakes just shows that you have nothing better to do than make cupcakes."

I don't understand your analogy. I've never heard anyone say (or even hint) that cupcakes are stupid, pointless and no one really likes them. I have heard people be judgmental about those who use a mix to make cupcakes.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I guess my question is this - why not be as nice and gracious as possible and do a quick thank you note? It is arguable that they're not 100 percent required if you give a nice oral thank you. But why not take the extra step and be as nice and polite as you possibly can?

Because, just like many things in life, it's not worth it to me to take that extra step. When baking cupcakes, sometimes I use a mix and sometimes I make that extra effort and make them from scratch. Sometimes I buy my plants from the nursery, sometimes I make the extra effort and grow them from seed. Sometimes I buy cheap products made in China, sometimes I pay extra and buy them Made In America. You may feel that it's worth the extra strep to write a thank you note when one isn't required and that's fine but you shouldn't be judgmental of those who don't choose to take the extra effort - just like you shouldn't judge people for making cupcakes from a mix. The important thing is that one gives thanks for a gift.

Bad analogy.

The true analogy here is "some people take the time to make cupcakes from scratch, other people use a mix, and still other people don't bother to make cupcakes at all because making cupcakes is stupid and pointless and no one really likes cupcakes they just toss them in the trash and making cupcakes just shows that you have nothing better to do than make cupcakes."

Anonymous wrote:I think people who get all righteous about deserving a thank you note are the rude ones.

For a kids party, no, there will be no thank you notes. I will have my DD properly receive the wrapped gift and thank you verbally. Other occasions are different, internship interviews or something similar, and thank you notes are important.

Don't bother quoting Emily Post, she doesn't run my life.

And so you have, what, never had a party at a place where there's a bin or a table for guests to drop off the gift, where your DD isn't "properly receiving" them and so could thank the gift giver personally? I've never met a child who just stands around greeting guests and saying thanks as the "properly receive" a gift. No, they're off with their friends, enjoying their party, as they should. So what do you do then? Just another lame excuse for not being polite and saying thanks. And for all of you making ridiculous excuses, Americans have gotten a bad reputation for many reasons, this being one of them. Grow some manners, please! It will serve you -- and your children -- well.

Anonymous wrote:I guess my question is this - why not be as nice and gracious as possible and do a quick thank you note? It is arguable that they're not 100 percent required if you give a nice oral thank you. But why not take the extra step and be as nice and polite as you possibly can?

Because, just like many things in life, it's not worth it to me to take that extra step. When baking cupcakes, sometimes I use a mix and sometimes I make that extra effort and make them from scratch. Sometimes I buy my plants from the nursery, sometimes I make the extra effort and grow them from seed. Sometimes I buy cheap products made in China, sometimes I pay extra and buy them Made In America. You may feel that it's worth the extra strep to write a thank you note when one isn't required and that's fine but you shouldn't be judgmental of those who don't choose to take the extra effort - just like you shouldn't judge people for making cupcakes from a mix. The important thing is that one gives thanks for a gift.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:This is what Emily post says...



It’s never wrong to send a written thank-you And people always appreciate getting “thanks” in writing.
Why? Handwritten notes are warmer and more special than other forms of thank-yous. The rule of thumb is that you should send a written note any time you receive a gift (even a ‘thank you’ gift) and the giver wasn’t there to thank in person. But notes are not always necessary. If, for example, the gift is from a close friend or relative (and it’s not a wedding gift) you can email or call instead if you prefer. Below are some other note-writing guidelines:

"thank you for inviting us to the party, here's a gift."
"thank you for the gift; here's a thank you card"
"thank you for the thank you card, here's a plant."
"thank you for the thank you plant for my thank you card, here's a pie."
"thank you for the thank you pie, for the thank you plant, for the thank you card....Oh, it's time for another party."

"thank you for inviting us to another party."
"thank you for RSVPing so quickly."
"thank you for acknowledging our RSVP so quickly."
"thank you for supporting USPS; my uncle Jane works there."
"thank you for taking the time to thank my support. Much appreciated"

Anonymous wrote:This is what Emily post says...



It’s never wrong to send a written thank-you And people always appreciate getting “thanks” in writing.
Why? Handwritten notes are warmer and more special than other forms of thank-yous. The rule of thumb is that you should send a written note any time you receive a gift (even a ‘thank you’ gift) and the giver wasn’t there to thank in person. But notes are not always necessary. If, for example, the gift is from a close friend or relative (and it’s not a wedding gift) you can email or call instead if you prefer. Below are some other note-writing guidelines:

"thank you for inviting us to the party, here's a gift."
"thank you for the gift; here's a thank you card"
"thank you for the thank you card, here's a plant."
"thank you for the thank you plant for my thank you card, here's a pie."
"thank you for the thank you pie, for the thank you plant, for the thank you card....Oh, it's time for another party."

I guess my question is this - why not be as nice and gracious as possible and do a quick thank you note? It is arguable that they're not 100 percent required if you give a nice oral thank you. But why not take the extra step and be as nice and polite as you possibly can?

Anonymous wrote:

Yes, you have the zeal of a convert. Also, why are you blaming your mother for not having you write thank you notes? Was your father not present in your life?

My dad has plenty to answer for too.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Here's a simple solution: If you don't want to thank people for the gifts, have a no gift party.

No one is arguing that people should not be thanked for gifts. The argument is whether a written note is the only acceptable method of conveying thanks. Some think it is, some do not. Everyone agrees that thanks should be given for gifts.

That may be what you have in mind, but the responses above indicate that some think it's ok if the present was opened at the party (a questionable proposition in itself) and there was a thank you. Others think a verbal thanks as the wrapped present is handed over is enough, or perhaps a "thanks for coming" covers the gift too if the person didn't personally accept the gift by hand (as happens for some presents at every party). Maybe a gracious nod or wink is enough, or perhaps just showing gratitude in your eyes at some point during the party? I mean everyone is busy, so there's no need to be all formal about how exactly you're supposed to thank someone.

Personally, my mom never had us write thank-you notes and now I feel awful about it. Perhaps I have the zeal of the recent convert.

Yes, you have the zeal of a convert. Also, why are you blaming your mother for not having you write thank you notes? Was your father not present in your life?

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Here's a simple solution: If you don't want to thank people for the gifts, have a no gift party.

No one is arguing that people should not be thanked for gifts. The argument is whether a written note is the only acceptable method of conveying thanks. Some think it is, some do not. Everyone agrees that thanks should be given for gifts.

That may be what you have in mind, but the responses above indicate that some think it's ok if the present was opened at the party (a questionable proposition in itself) and there was a thank you. Others think a verbal thanks as the wrapped present is handed over is enough, or perhaps a "thanks for coming" covers the gift too if the person didn't personally accept the gift by hand (as happens for some presents at every party). Maybe a gracious nod or wink is enough, or perhaps just showing gratitude in your eyes at some point during the party? I mean everyone is busy, so there's no need to be all formal about how exactly you're supposed to thank someone.

Personally, my mom never had us write thank-you notes and now I feel awful about it. Perhaps I have the zeal of the recent convert.

Anonymous wrote:Here's a simple solution: If you don't want to thank people for the gifts, have a no gift party.

No one is arguing that people should not be thanked for gifts. The argument is whether a written note is the only acceptable method of conveying thanks. Some think it is, some do not. Everyone agrees that thanks should be given for gifts.

Here's a simple solution: If you don't want to thank people for the gifts, have a no gift party.

I haven't read any of the posts, but this is why I ask for no gifts. I don't WANT to send thank you cards. I hate it. Its one of the worst chores in the world. So, if my invite says NO GIFTS...don't expect a thank you card.

I do a good amount of interviewing at my firm and get relatively few thank you notes, even though the 1/2 hour I spend with the interviewee means another 1/2 hour of work for me that night. Usually, when I do get thank you notes, they are from people who already nailed the interview. YMMV.

I find it difficult to believe a "top firm" would track and circulate thank you notes among the partners. Partners (or other senior managers) have far more important things to consider than a thank you note.

I have worked for two firms that might be considered "top firms." If a candidate wrote a thank you card, they circulated it - no idea whether it was "tracked." It didn't have anything to do with the hiring decision, as far as I know. I think it was just a way to let the interviewers know that the candidates appreciated the time that they took to meet with them. I don't see anything wrong with that. You could look at it if you wanted to, or not look at it if you were too busy. Again, it made no difference at all regarding my recommendation as to whether to hire a person. However, if a person was hired and they wrote a nice note, it might make me more likely to go out of my way to get to know them a bit better if they actually joined the firm.