Anonymous
07/06/2015 15:32
Subject: Do you think you might get divorced once the kids are grown?
My parents divorced after 26 years of marriage, when both my brother and I had finished college and were out on our own. Their divorce was not an amicable one. Now that we have families of our own, we are really feeling the repercussions. Each parent complains about not having enough time with the grandkids. Planning family events and visits is exhausting and frustrating as they can't be in the same room together. Before making the decision to divorce, please consider the impact on your children and grandchildren.
Anonymous
07/06/2015 15:29
Subject: Re:Do you think you might get divorced once the kids are grown?
Disabled poster, I mean this with all kindness, but I really think you need to speak to a therapist. This thread doesn't seem like the appropriate place to talk about blowjob details or your past horrific rape. I feel for you but you are giving a TON of really personal details that may be better shared with a therapist.
Anonymous
07/06/2015 15:21
Subject: Do you think you might get divorced once the kids are grown?
I think I will definitely re-evaluate my marriage post-kids. It's difficult to say they are the reason we are together solely but they are a compelling part of the story. A lot of the bullshit you put up with is part and parcel of the fact that this other person is the mother/father of your children. You want them to see their journey growing up and they won't if you leave or if they leave.
But once they are gone, I actually think there is a big reset that will happen if I don't die (because life, of course). I could see myself alone in old age. But I'd like to share that time with my DH.
But once they are gone, I actually think there is a big reset that will happen if I don't die (because life, of course). I could see myself alone in old age. But I'd like to share that time with my DH.
Anonymous
07/06/2015 15:06
Subject: Do you think you might get divorced once the kids are grown?
I did. When the last one graduated,
Anonymous
07/06/2015 14:58
Subject: Re:Do you think you might get divorced once the kids are grown?
I am getting divorced now while my child will likely not remember. We have always lived apart in different cities anyway so no change in living situation. I will never bring a stepparent into the picture and won't parentify child. I hope that will be enough. I can only keep my side of the street clean.
Anonymous
07/03/2015 22:20
Subject: Do you think you might get divorced once the kids are grown?
Anonymous wrote:My parents were divorced was I was two and my husband's parents were divorced when he was in his teens. I grew up experiencing the stepparent, half-sibling, and stepsibling syndrome....it was an awful childhood for me and my brother. Most of my childhood consisted of the many memories of fabricating in my mind of how wonderful it would be to have my mom and dad together and to have the life that my step sibling had memories. Fast forward into to my mid 40's and for the life of me, I will live miserably and with that empty heart to the man I married almost 20 years ago before I EVER put my children thru that type of turmoil (and it is turmoil seeing your mom with someone you have to call dad or your dad with someone who is not your mom), sadness (hoping and praying you will have your mom and your dad under one roof), and emptiness (praying with a constant ache in your heart they will someday get back to together) before I put my kids thru a divorce. I am not that selfish. My kids do not deserve that life of disappointment and sadness. No child does. The kids do not ask to be brought into these circumstances and the adults need to live with each other amicably until the children are grown and then they can do what they want.
I suspect this is one of the reasons divorce rates are declining.
Anonymous
07/03/2015 22:08
Subject: Do you think you might get divorced once the kids are grown?
My parents were divorced was I was two and my husband's parents were divorced when he was in his teens. I grew up experiencing the stepparent, half-sibling, and stepsibling syndrome....it was an awful childhood for me and my brother. Most of my childhood consisted of the many memories of fabricating in my mind of how wonderful it would be to have my mom and dad together and to have the life that my step sibling had memories. Fast forward into to my mid 40's and for the life of me, I will live miserably and with that empty heart to the man I married almost 20 years ago before I EVER put my children thru that type of turmoil (and it is turmoil seeing your mom with someone you have to call dad or your dad with someone who is not your mom), sadness (hoping and praying you will have your mom and your dad under one roof), and emptiness (praying with a constant ache in your heart they will someday get back to together) before I put my kids thru a divorce. I am not that selfish. My kids do not deserve that life of disappointment and sadness. No child does. The kids do not ask to be brought into these circumstances and the adults need to live with each other amicably until the children are grown and then they can do what they want.
Anonymous
07/03/2015 20:54
Subject: Do you think you might get divorced once the kids are grown?
Sometimes I wonder. Tonight dh got mad because ds asked him to read a book about firemen that had some Spanish words. I got the book from a friend who's a teacher. It was probably a freebie that she got and gave to me because ds loves firemen. It's the stupidest thing to get pissed about, and I just want to tell DH to sleep downstairs and watch all the Fox News he wants if that's how he's going to be. I can't see thirty more years of that sort of attitude.
Anonymous
07/03/2015 20:26
Subject: Re:Do you think you might get divorced once the kids are grown?
19 years later, married at 24 years of age and I have been miserable since the first year of marriage. He does not communicate, does not believe in putting forth effort into anything other than a 40 hour work week, and he truly does not know how to have relationships with me, his family, his children, his friends, you name it. We have had a non-existent almost sexless marriage since the beginning. Our biggest blessing by fare are our two wonderful kids ages 13 and 9. We try to do attend church on a regular basis and I carry the workload with the child rearing, household duties, taxes, bills, plus I work, and he travels all the time. Ideal life? Maybe for him? His life never changed when we had children, my life has evolved around the children and I am so thankful for them, they are the best part of the marriage and the only glue that keeps this emotionless and stale marriage together. I am counting down the days, trust me.....
Anonymous
06/21/2014 21:25
Subject: Do you think you might get divorced once the kids are grown?
Youngest is 10. So what's that 8 years or so.
Anonymous
06/21/2014 20:48
Subject: Do you think you might get divorced once the kids are grown?
14 LONG years to go and then I am out!
Anonymous
06/12/2014 14:17
Subject: Re:Do you think you might get divorced once the kids are grown?
Anonymous wrote:Don't you think it hurts kids to have them grow up thinking marriage is a loveless exercise in endurance and having children means postponing your own happiness for decades?
No, I think it hurts kids more to shuttle between homes, have their HHI income drop precipitously, spend their holidays wishing the other parent was around, let's see, what else? Oh, pretending to "love" the new step siblings, wondering if the infant half-sibling is more cherished than they are, STILL listening to their parents bicker on the phone because that never actually stops, trying to be impossibly "good" so as not to upset the apple cart even further, wondering where the hell that Dad went ....
It's not a dumb fluke that the couples with the highest amount of education -- meaning, among other things, they read a lot and follow current research -- are the least likely to divorce and presumably therefore, the most likely to tough it out for the sake of their children.
No 8 year old wants his Mommy to Just Be Happy and Find Excitement Again with some new guy named Tim, if it means exploding a non-abusive family dynamic.
So uh, yeah, I'm trying to gut it out for my kids.
+1000
Anonymous
06/12/2014 09:49
Subject: Do you think you might get divorced once the kids are grown?
Two years to go, then free at last.
Anonymous
06/12/2014 06:55
Subject: Re:Do you think you might get divorced once the kids are grown?
Waiting until the youngest is out of the house...... 4 years! By the way.....I'm dad! 
Anonymous
06/12/2014 06:54
Subject: Do you think you might get divorced once the kids are grown?
By the way.....I'm dad....