Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:All these posts about shame and dependence are really sad and reflective of a work ethic that dates from the Boomer generation. If OP and her husband have run the numbers and her income isn't needed and she doesn't want to work and she has other uses for her time, that's a valid and personal decision to make - and in fact until a generation or two ago was the decision made by the majority of women without guilt. I just left a high-paying, punishing career after nearly 30 years and it's taken a good bit of therapy to "forgive" myself for retiring "early" in my mid-fifties to just actually enjoy my life and be healthy and balanced for the first time in forever. Working for working sake is not worth it - if OP would find value in spending her time otherwise (and that is admittedly a big IF as there are a lot of hours in the day) that's her (and her DH's) decision to make.
What did your therapist say that really hit home with you? I would be interested to know. I have a lot of that shame myself. Rationally I know it is stupid but can't fully get there mentally.
Great question. Among other things she helped map out my new life and validated that it was enough and that I’d created a life for myself (volunteer work, classes, goals, travel, improved health, new friendships, hobbies) out of nothing (I’d just been working and taking care of my family). It feels obnoxious to talk about this stuff to most people so it’s helpful to discuss in therapy.