Anonymous
Post 06/15/2026 20:16     Subject: Game is rigged
Anonymous wrote:DD is applying to a single digit selective college.
In her school there are two boys who are also applying, both from very wealthy families. One is legacy and heavily donates, another donates seven digit donations.

My kid has no chance.


Apply ED/REA to the school if they love it best, but also apply to all the similar schools RD if they fit. If she is a genuine top kid (rigor maxed, all As, top scores, all 5s on AP, and also kind and genuine reflected in top LORs) she will get in to at least one T15 private, maybe more. The game works for genuine top applicants.
Anonymous
Post 06/15/2026 20:14     Subject: Game is rigged
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:I've seen this happen among friends and community every year. They have their kids apply out to the area private schools in 8th grade, and they all accept their spots thinking it will boost their chance of getting into a better college than our local public. They are very open about it. But they soon realize that high school is a different ball game and there are so many other other factors (like social adjustment, mental health, etc) and like OP, other legacy and VIP families. It's very unfortunate and happens every year! Just make decisions best for your child all around whether that's private or public HS or which schools to ED to...


OP here. There many reasons why parents pick private schools. I would not jump to conclusions. And yes, we were well aware that it would decrease college admissions chances,

Our public schools have huge grade inflation and low education level- kids get GPA points for not going to the bathroom during class, the failing kids are in honor society, AP teachers skip units because class struggles with basic algebra. Kids get into colleges with fake grades but drop out the freshman year or are put on academic probation.

Not to mention all the lockdowns for guns brought to school and fights.

We choose the lesser evil. We’re aware of disadvantages.


My kid thrived at public in the DMV and got a top 10 unhooked with a 1520 SAT and a 4.0., a few strong ECs and awesome teachers. Big school. Big classes. She worked hard, took advantage of the programs in school and had the best time. Her GDS bestie who joined the school from public in 9th grade for a nicer school, smaller classrooms and "better education" didn't fare so well.
Anonymous
Post 06/15/2026 19:58     Subject: Game is rigged
Anonymous wrote:The legacy with meh stats is unlikely to get in unless his family donates a lot or there is some super impressive outside activity you don't know about. But the kid whose family is donating $$$ could easily get in if a reasonable student. Either way I would encourage your DD to find a more realistic top choice school.


Yes to both of this — legacy isn’t really a big bump. But even if those two get in that doesn’t mean your kid won’t get in if she is really a great candidate. There’s not really a lid on applicants from a particular school. But I’d also encourage her not to get her heart set on any single digit acceptance school. There’s not that much difference between brown and another school, or fill in the blank for any of those schools.
Anonymous
Post 06/15/2026 19:54     Subject: Re:Game is rigged
OP, if you want your DCs to stay working class or UMC at best, keep teaching them to whine about what’s unfair and who’s to blame. Winners don’t make excuses, let alone preemptively, but I bet you already knew this. If you don’t, your kids won’t do that well.
Anonymous
Post 06/15/2026 19:34     Subject: Game is rigged
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:I've seen this happen among friends and community every year. They have their kids apply out to the area private schools in 8th grade, and they all accept their spots thinking it will boost their chance of getting into a better college than our local public. They are very open about it. But they soon realize that high school is a different ball game and there are so many other other factors (like social adjustment, mental health, etc) and like OP, other legacy and VIP families. It's very unfortunate and happens every year! Just make decisions best for your child all around whether that's private or public HS or which schools to ED to...


OP here. There many reasons why parents pick private schools. I would not jump to conclusions. And yes, we were well aware that it would decrease college admissions chances,

Our public schools have huge grade inflation and low education level- kids get GPA points for not going to the bathroom during class, the failing kids are in honor society, AP teachers skip units because class struggles with basic algebra. Kids get into colleges with fake grades but drop out the freshman year or are put on academic probation.

Not to mention all the lockdowns for guns brought to school and fights.

We choose the lesser evil. We’re aware of disadvantages.


Of course in your situation the private option might be better. But not in our area where we have good public schools and families still apply out. They are very forthcoming that they believe college admissions will be better at the private school. But for just regular smart kids, that's just not the case.
Anonymous
Post 06/15/2026 18:31     Subject: Game is rigged
Anonymous wrote:DD is applying to a single digit selective college.
In her school there are two boys who are also applying, both from very wealthy families. One is legacy and heavily donates, another donates seven digit donations.

My kid has no chance.


This is just stupid. You do not know what they donate. But even if they do that does not mean your DD is not in. Fight the fight.
Anonymous
Post 06/15/2026 18:10     Subject: Game is rigged
Anonymous wrote:HYPS, which tend not to be universities for the best and brightest undergrads these days.

Bare assertion with no support.
Anonymous
Post 06/15/2026 18:01     Subject: Game is rigged
To be clear, nothing has happened yet. OP doesn’t know the outcome. She enjoys freaking out in advance.
Anonymous
Post 06/15/2026 18:00     Subject: Re:Game is rigged
I don’t really buy that unhooked private school kids are at a disadvantage compared to public school kids fwiw.

However, I also don’t buy that there is only one good fit per kid. There is a big $ student at my DCs school and we won’t be applying to the same ED.
Anonymous
Post 06/15/2026 17:54     Subject: Game is rigged
Anonymous wrote:DD is applying to a single digit selective college.
In her school there are two boys who are also applying, both from very wealthy families. One is legacy and heavily donates, another donates seven digit donations.

My kid has no chance.


I am very sorry to break it to you, but nothing about college admissions is fair. And it never was fair. The way it is unfair changes a bit over the decades.
Anonymous
Post 06/15/2026 17:54     Subject: Game is rigged
The game is certainly rigged for HYPS. My sense of MIT is they have better quality control. The mediocre rich kids don't get in or go to MIT.

But schools ranked 6-25 are all enthusiastically taking top students. For unhooked smart kids, I'd focus on those schools over HYPS, which tend not to be universities for the best and brightest undergrads these days.
Anonymous
Post 06/15/2026 17:54     Subject: Game is rigged
Anonymous wrote:Yup, it is unfair. Now your job as a parent is to make sure your kid talks to her GC, selects schools that are in the running (ie- no big donor/legacy apps to compete with) and moves forward without bitterness.


I hate this. In your opinion we should tell our kids “step aside and make room for the rich kids and don’t be bitter”?

No, I’m telling her apply, throw your name in the hat. She has a balanced school list, she will be fine.
Anonymous
Post 06/15/2026 17:50     Subject: Game is rigged
Anonymous wrote:You could say the same thing (rigged) about a lot of different scenarios-- recruited athletes have an even bigger chance of admission than legacies.
. Lol. Do you have any idea how much work athletes have to put in to get to the D1 level? It’s easier to get 1600 SAT.
Anonymous
Post 06/15/2026 17:49     Subject: Game is rigged
Anonymous wrote:I've seen this happen among friends and community every year. They have their kids apply out to the area private schools in 8th grade, and they all accept their spots thinking it will boost their chance of getting into a better college than our local public. They are very open about it. But they soon realize that high school is a different ball game and there are so many other other factors (like social adjustment, mental health, etc) and like OP, other legacy and VIP families. It's very unfortunate and happens every year! Just make decisions best for your child all around whether that's private or public HS or which schools to ED to...


OP here. There many reasons why parents pick private schools. I would not jump to conclusions. And yes, we were well aware that it would decrease college admissions chances,

Our public schools have huge grade inflation and low education level- kids get GPA points for not going to the bathroom during class, the failing kids are in honor society, AP teachers skip units because class struggles with basic algebra. Kids get into colleges with fake grades but drop out the freshman year or are put on academic probation.

Not to mention all the lockdowns for guns brought to school and fights.

We choose the lesser evil. We’re aware of disadvantages.
Anonymous
Post 06/15/2026 17:42     Subject: Game is rigged
Emphasis on real $ (i.e., legacy applicant with mediocre grades whose parents donate four figures a year isn't going to move the needle admissions-wise).