Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:She says he’s mostly calling her, but I’d say it’s half and half. She is an extreme people pleaser and never says no to anyone. She doesn’t want to leave the phone at home. OP

She is an "extreme people pleaser" who "never says no to anyone," OP? Are you sure?

Because she's not putting away the phone when her literal boss is telling her to do so. She's not staying off the your couch on her phone, either.

She's not a "people pleaser." She's a "boyfriend pleaser," and she can't say no to him. That's not the same thing. It's also not a good place to be as a young woman.

I don’t even think that’s it — sounds like DD was calling BF half the time. She just sounds selfish and immature.

I call this "rules for thee; rules for me." Daughter (after many warnings) still chose to flaunt the stated rules of her employer. And Mom wants to make excuses of "being people pleaser."

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:She says he’s mostly calling her, but I’d say it’s half and half. She is an extreme people pleaser and never says no to anyone. She doesn’t want to leave the phone at home. OP

She is an "extreme people pleaser" who "never says no to anyone," OP? Are you sure?

Because she's not putting away the phone when her literal boss is telling her to do so. She's not staying off the your couch on her phone, either.

She's not a "people pleaser." She's a "boyfriend pleaser," and she can't say no to him. That's not the same thing. It's also not a good place to be as a young woman.

I don’t even think that’s it — sounds like DD was calling BF half the time. She just sounds selfish and immature.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:OP I can’t believe you are asking this question.

If my child got fired for something like this, the phone would be gone for the rest of the summer.

You created this problem.

This.

No you can’t intervene with the manager. Yes you should let her get fired and hope it’s public and humiliating. They have given her way more leeway than I would.

Why doesn’t she feel comfortable saying no to her boyfriend? Is he abusive or is she a people pleaser? Neither ends well.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:She says he’s mostly calling her, but I’d say it’s half and half. She is an extreme people pleaser and never says no to anyone. She doesn’t want to leave the phone at home. OP

She is an "extreme people pleaser" who "never says no to anyone," OP? Are you sure?

Because she's not putting away the phone when her literal boss is telling her to do so. She's not staying off the your couch on her phone, either.

She's not a "people pleaser." She's a "boyfriend pleaser," and she can't say no to him. That's not the same thing. It's also not a good place to be as a young woman.

Anonymous wrote:She says he’s mostly calling her, but I’d say it’s half and half. She is an extreme people pleaser and never says no to anyone. She doesn’t want to leave the phone at home. OP

Anonymous wrote:I don’t really get why everyone is fixating on the “people pleaser” thing. She doesn’t always follow directions or does what she’s told, but she also tends to let people take advantage of her and walk all over her. Being a people pleaser doesn’t mean she’s perfect or that she’s suddenly going to automatically respect workplace rules; she’s always in her phone.

If anyone has leads on jobs in the DC area that are still hiring, I’m open to ideas. I’d really prefer she’s out of the house—I’m just not a fan of her lying around on my couch. If she’s with her boyfriend, that’s fine.

I haven’t taken her phone away in years because it doesn’t really help and she doesn’t respond well to that kind of consequence. She’s 18 now, turning 19 soon, so I don’t really have leverage to control her choices anymore anyway.

Anonymous wrote:She says he’s mostly calling her, but I’d say it’s half and half. She is an extreme people pleaser and never says no to anyone. She doesn’t want to leave the phone at home. OP

Anonymous wrote:Oh wow. Good luck when she is failing out of college because she is constantly worried about BF.

Anonymous wrote:
If anyone has leads on jobs in the DC area that are still hiring, I’m open to ideas.

Anonymous wrote:I don’t really get why everyone is fixating on the “people pleaser” thing. She doesn’t always follow directions or does what she’s told, but she also tends to let people take advantage of her and walk all over her. Being a people pleaser doesn’t mean she’s perfect or that she’s suddenly going to automatically respect workplace rules; she’s always in her phone.

If anyone has leads on jobs in the DC area that are still hiring, I’m open to ideas. I’d really prefer she’s out of the house—I’m just not a fan of her lying around on my couch. If she’s with her boyfriend, that’s fine.

I haven’t taken her phone away in years because it doesn’t really help and she doesn’t respond well to that kind of consequence. She’s 18 now, turning 19 soon, so I don’t really have leverage to control her choices anymore anyway.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:She ended up calling in and quitting. She was going to get fired anyway, and since she's someone hates conflict, quitting was what she chose to do. She has a hard time standing up for herself. That doesn't mean she's always doing what other people tell her to do, but she's never rude, hostile, or intentionally tries to hurt anyone's feelings even when she disagrees.

She's also not a spender. She saves all the money she earns and doesn't ask anyone for money. We pay her phone bill, but even if I turned it off, she'd just use Wi-Fi to call him through FaceTime audio or video. She also has apps she uses to call people that don't require cell service, so shutting off the phone wouldn't really change much.

I don't know what she's going to do this summer now. It's going to be harder to find a new job this late, especially because there are certain jobs she doesn't like. She hates being out in the sun and prefers indoor work. I’m also worried that this will become a pattern, and that she’ll just get fired again. I guess she'll have to figure something out.

When she's not working, she'll usually stay in bed until around 2 p.m. talking on the phone, then come downstairs, grab some strawberries or carrots and maybe a bag of chips, and spend most of the afternoon on the couch using her phone.

Her boyfriend works too, so they don't spend every waking minute together. In the evenings she usually sees him after work. Sometimes they go exercise or go to the gym together, and by the time they're done it's late like 11, so she'll shower at his house and stay the night. Some nights they'll go out to a party or hang out with friends, but that's not most nights. Other days, if they skip the gym, he'll come over for dinner and sometimes she wants him to spend the night. Or she'll go to his house and spend the day there. Sometimes she spends several days in a row there. She sleeps over there quite a bit and isn’t always just sitting at home.

She’ll have to now try to find other things to do though. OP

If you’re not a troll, and I really hope you are, I want you to know that you totally wasted my time in seeking advice. Your above message is ridiculous. You have not raised your kid well.

To be blunt you are raising a total loser. Stop saying "people pleaser" about someone who's directly disobeying their boss. She just DGAF and you're not giving her much reason to change OP.