You should get a nanny instead.

Anonymous wrote:5 months is just so young, OP. Did you expect your career and your life to be the same and your wife to do 100% of the bending so you could have your dream of being a family man??

A mot of hobs do not allow you to being your baby to the office and do child are while working. Or even to be providing child are while wfh and during meetings. A baby crying during a meeting can be disruptive and needing to leave a meeting or stop working to meet the baby's needs can be problematic. Not all work environments are safe for babies either. It is perfectly normal to use childcare during the day while one works.

Daycare/nanny, late bedtimes, and constant exhaustion are just part of two-income families. As much as I wish it were not the case, we’ve learned that there’s a limited number of hours in the day, and if we’re going to meet the frankly realistic demands of our jobs (they’re paying us to complete tasks for the office, not for our personal lives) then we had to outsource or just not perform a lot of the tasks that would get done if we had one of us staying at home with the kids. So that means that non-urgent repairs go unfinished for years at a time, and our children are in paid childcare until 6pm every night. We also often work late after the kids go to bed. It’s not great, but like it or not, that’s the cost of having two working parents.

I can totally understand the not wanting to leave a baby in daycare. So I understand why your wife wants you to pick her up.

I couldn’t even get to the daycare part. When I toured them, I could not fathom dropping off my infant and we went the nanny route.

If your wife works part time and you have a hybrid schedule, many people can make this work without daycare. I would try to get a nanny.

The baby can go full-time

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Many more parents could SAH than do if they were willing to give up certain things in life (I’m not talking about basic expenses) and they simply don’t want to. Which is fine, but own it. I hate when a parent says “I can’t afford to SAH” when what they really mean is “and keep the same UMC lifestyle.”

Maybe not on DCUM, but there are a ton of dual-income parents who are still only, gasp, middle class. Even with two incomes. So your comment is pretty ignorant. But yeah, being able to afford college and not be a burden to your kids in retirement are luxuries for the UMC these days.

I will admit I'm very risk averse after watching my aunt struggle to re-enter the workforce after my uncle died suddenly when my cousins were still young. He had some life insurance but most people don't have enough to truly replace their income.

My Dad had a brain tumor. Even with health insurance and help from my grandparents, the costs absolutely drained them. Breadwinner parents can get sick and it can be nobody's fault.

+1. I'm so sorry, and yes, I've watched this type of situation play out too. I've read some analyses that the risk of disability is higher than premature death, but fewer people are prepared for the former. And medical costs can be absolutely devestating.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Many more parents could SAH than do if they were willing to give up certain things in life (I’m not talking about basic expenses) and they simply don’t want to. Which is fine, but own it. I hate when a parent says “I can’t afford to SAH” when what they really mean is “and keep the same UMC lifestyle.”

Maybe not on DCUM, but there are a ton of dual-income parents who are still only, gasp, middle class. Even with two incomes. So your comment is pretty ignorant. But yeah, being able to afford college and not be a burden to your kids in retirement are luxuries for the UMC these days.

I will admit I'm very risk averse after watching my aunt struggle to re-enter the workforce after my uncle died suddenly when my cousins were still young. He had some life insurance but most people don't have enough to truly replace their income.

My Dad had a brain tumor. Even with health insurance and help from my grandparents, the costs absolutely drained them. Breadwinner parents can get sick and it can be nobody's fault.