We spanked our kids in the judicious, moderated, non-angry manner, and they're at top colleges and very happy and doing great. We had an awesome and fun-filled Fathers Day celebration yesterday afternoon with both sets of grandparents (who also, btw, spanked us when needed).

I come from an immigrant family and I was not "spanked" so much as hit in anger when my parents thought I misbehaved.

I don't clutch my pearls at this, I get that it happens, but my feeling is no.

Don't harm anyone physically, don't teach them it is an appropriate response to any situaton.

My parents spanked me when I deserved it as an elementary school student, and it didn’t traumatize me or curdle my relationship with them.
I don’t think children are as fragile as some on DCUM apparently believe.

Anonymous wrote:Probably because they’re intelligent adults and competent parents.
You can’t relate, I know. 🤷‍♀️

Parents are allowed to spank their children.
I realize you don’t agree with that perspective, but your disagreement shouldn’t affect your ability to read and comprehend simple factual information.

I grew up in the Deep South to a paddle, hickory stick or a weeping willow switch. I was spanked multiple times a day to bible readings. I still loved my Mom who did almost all the spanking. It did not help my devious nature nor did it cause trauma. I actually did not care too much about the spankings but my Dad’s slap across the face took me out. I did not have a relationship with him until I was 29. I do not spank my kids and rarely punish them.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote: They told me that a parent is allowed to spank their child.

I’m not sure why anyone would believe differently.

Probably because they’re intelligent adults and competent parents.

You can’t relate, I know. 🤷‍♀️

Anonymous wrote: They told me that a parent is allowed to spank their child.

I’m not sure why anyone would believe differently.

Anonymous wrote: Teachers know that there is no point in reporting a parent unless there are visible marks, cuts, or bruises. CPS won't investigate unless there are.

And rightly so.
Parents are allowed to give their children ordinary spankings.
As a taxpayer, I’d be concerned if CPS expended resources investigating spankings that didn’t result in marks, cuts, or bruises.

Do you have a fetish of some kind? Planning to spank someone who cannot consent is fairly gross, OP.

Anonymous wrote:If you spank your child, they will tell a friend or an adult or a teacher and you will get reported for child abuse. Not exaggerating at all.

Incorrect. I called the child abuse and neglect hotline to attempt to report a parent spanking their child. They told me that a parent is allowed to spank their child.

Please consult with a licensed specialist and tell them what you're frustrated by in your child to see if they can help. I was struggling with my 6 year old's (now 7) behavior. He has been in play based therapy for 6 months and he is a different kid. He was having a difficult time sorting his anger/ frustration/ feelings and they were manifesting in poor behavior. It took me too long to get him there -- I've never been in therapy, nor has my spouse, or anyone in my immediate family growing up. It would have been "woo woo." But it has been amazing to see my kid process and sort his emotions in a productive manner. I'm so happy and relieved we tried something different. Every kid is unique and you never know why he is acting out.

Spanking him will just temporarily shock him, it will not help in the long term and prepare him for adulthood.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Is it OK to “spank” your spouse when they exhibit undesirable behavior? If not, why not?

If in 2026, you can’t reach a child without striking them (yes, that is what it is, whether you use prettier words or not and whether you claim you’re “not angry and in control” or not), then you’ve failed as a parent. If you want to be a failed parent, have at it, I guess.

We don’t spank, but your premise is flawed. Spouses are equals. Parent and child are not. It’s also not appropriate to put your spouse in time out, take away his iPad, or do pretty much anything else parents use for discipline.

That’s the predictable, tired response, but the answer is no, it is not acceptable to HIT people in 2026, no matter their age, and especially when they are smaller and physically weaker than you. When we know better, we do better, or at least that’s what’s SUPPOSED to happen.

Anonymous wrote:Is it OK to “spank” your spouse when they exhibit undesirable behavior? If not, why not?

If in 2026, you can’t reach a child without striking them (yes, that is what it is, whether you use prettier words or not and whether you claim you’re “not angry and in control” or not), then you’ve failed as a parent. If you want to be a failed parent, have at it, I guess.

We don’t spank, but your premise is flawed. Spouses are equals. Parent and child are not. It’s also not appropriate to put your spouse in time out, take away his iPad, or do pretty much anything else parents use for discipline.

Is it OK to “spank” your spouse when they exhibit undesirable behavior? If not, why not?

If in 2026, you can’t reach a child without striking them (yes, that is what it is, whether you use prettier words or not and whether you claim you’re “not angry and in control” or not), then you’ve failed as a parent. If you want to be a failed parent, have at it, I guess.

Have you taken a good hard, look at your parenting? Are you consistent? Do you know what his currency is? Does he have siblings? Have you taken a parenting class? Have you gone to family therapy? Individual therapy? Those are some things I would look at before I started spanking a first grader.