Anonymous
Post 06/05/2026 11:14     Subject: Inheritance

Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:OP, you really need to reframe this scenario because the additional details you've shared show that it's not really about the inheritance.

Here is the fact pattern:
You have $10M in assets, are married, and are around 50 years old.
Your HHI is $500-700k/year and you plan to work an additional 10-15 years.
You've been saving $50k/year in a brokerage account, in addition to tax-advantaged saving for retirement.
Your parents are 80+ and you expect an inheritance.

Here is your question:
Given the facts above, can you spend the $50k/year instead of continuing to add savings to your brokerage?

And the answer is 100% yes.


What I'm confused by is that the extra 50k/year should be peanuts compared to the returns on the existing savings. Why the inheritance would even be in the conversation here doesn't make sense.


OP here - there could be a lost decade in the market. from 2000 to 2010 the market didn't really go up.
Anonymous
Post 06/05/2026 11:13     Subject: Inheritance

Anonymous wrote:OP, you really need to reframe this scenario because the additional details you've shared show that it's not really about the inheritance.

Here is the fact pattern:
You have $10M in assets, are married, and are around 50 years old.
Your HHI is $500-700k/year and you plan to work an additional 10-15 years.
You've been saving $50k/year in a brokerage account, in addition to tax-advantaged saving for retirement.
Your parents are 80+ and you expect an inheritance.

Here is your question:
Given the facts above, can you spend the $50k/year instead of continuing to add savings to your brokerage?

And the answer is 100% yes.


OP here - thanks for reframing. other than we want to only work for 5-10 years this is the way to think about it.

Does retiring at 55-60 make the answer still 100%?

Because I do understand that if we keep working till 65 then i know we can spend the extra $50k. It's really spending the $50k
AND retiring in 5-10 years.
Anonymous
Post 06/05/2026 11:09     Subject: Re:Inheritance

Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:I do not count on it.

Memory care is $140,000 to more than $220,000 yearly.

They could need memory care and that would eat up 2.5 M pretty quick, especially if there are two.



No way. These estimates are way overblown. First off if you’re in memory care you have no other expenses. You also still earn social security, pension, dividends etc.

The chance of you having someone in memory care for years and the spouse too means you moved them there too early. The average stay isn’t even 2 years.

You should be more worried the market collapses.


Those prices for memory care are definitely not overestimated. Not everyone wants to go to a facility. My parents want full time carers and at $30/hour it's over $250,000 a year plus taxes, and house expenses, meds, etc.


This is crazy expensive and you can use common sense to figure out this is abnormal. There would be a huge market if you could take care of a couple 24-7 and earn $250k without even having a college diploma. Heck even at $150k you could have live-in help.

My own parent ended up in memory care and it cost us all out maybe $250k over 2.5 years at a facility. He earned interest and dividends at this time and his net worth continued to grow.

Do you also think college has to be $80k per year? I ask because it’s a similar mentality and it just means you’re a big spender and aren’t smart about things. Sure, if you want to spend $1 million educating your kids and $1 million on LTC you can do that. But it isn’t necessary.



The providers themselves aren’t getting paid the whole amount, though. Unless this PP just went out and hired people directly and is writing them checks, which I doubt, that cost includes operating costs and a profit margin for their employer.


The point is that if it really was $250k a year for normal care and this was commonplace, there would be a market for this. $250k is a fantastic salary for someone without a degree. Spending that kind of money isn’t necessary.


you're an idiot. it's not $250k. it's $83k each for three people to get 24 hour shifts covered.


You’re absolutely right. We should all plan to spend $250k per year on LTC. Eye roll.
Anonymous
Post 06/05/2026 10:36     Subject: Inheritance

Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:No, I was promised inheritance but they never gave me a dime when alive. Dad died and gave most of it to random women. My sibling grabbed the rest. I suspect sibling will get all mom’s money. Till you have it don’t plan with it.


When someone dies you cannot grab money. Personal property, yes. Was it money? What did the estate doc/probate court say? Were you around and helpful to your dad through his life? Was sibling?


DP. You would be surprised. People do this all the time, but to stop it you have to go to court. Which costs a lot in time and $$. There's very little recourse.


We had this with my sis in law. When my MIL was dying, she went through the house and grabbed tons of cash, jewelry, my FIL's watch, etc. She also claimed their mom had given her the cars. My husband just kind of gave up on it because it was hard to prove exactly what she'd taken.

Now SIL also tried to claim their mom (who was literally unconscious) and also given her the house with a quitclaim deed (she had a notary friend fake it), but she'd fortunately done it incompetently and the estate lawyer was able to handle that easily. But we just let a lot of it go because it wasn't worth the legal fees.


Cash? Personal property? Sure. You cannot grab assets unless on the account or you’re the beneficiary.


You can if you're willing to commit fraud.


Then you call the cops. Only way without a joint account is a forged check or online fraudulent transfers but then you need the passcodes.


Because mom has brain cancer and keeps all her codes in a notebook by her computer.

When mom has just died, calling the cops on your sister isn't necessarily an easy decision. My spouse also met with lawyers and it's both difficult to prove and expensive to get the money back.

Trust me, having lived through these circumstances it really isn't easy and you'd understand why people just drop their end of the rope a lot.
Anonymous
Post 06/05/2026 10:15     Subject: Inheritance

Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:No, I was promised inheritance but they never gave me a dime when alive. Dad died and gave most of it to random women. My sibling grabbed the rest. I suspect sibling will get all mom’s money. Till you have it don’t plan with it.


When someone dies you cannot grab money. Personal property, yes. Was it money? What did the estate doc/probate court say? Were you around and helpful to your dad through his life? Was sibling?


DP. You would be surprised. People do this all the time, but to stop it you have to go to court. Which costs a lot in time and $$. There's very little recourse.


We had this with my sis in law. When my MIL was dying, she went through the house and grabbed tons of cash, jewelry, my FIL's watch, etc. She also claimed their mom had given her the cars. My husband just kind of gave up on it because it was hard to prove exactly what she'd taken.

Now SIL also tried to claim their mom (who was literally unconscious) and also given her the house with a quitclaim deed (she had a notary friend fake it), but she'd fortunately done it incompetently and the estate lawyer was able to handle that easily. But we just let a lot of it go because it wasn't worth the legal fees.


Cash? Personal property? Sure. You cannot grab assets unless on the account or you’re the beneficiary.


You can if you're willing to commit fraud.


Then you call the cops. Only way without a joint account is a forged check or online fraudulent transfers but then you need the passcodes.
Anonymous
Post 06/05/2026 10:05     Subject: Inheritance

Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:No, I was promised inheritance but they never gave me a dime when alive. Dad died and gave most of it to random women. My sibling grabbed the rest. I suspect sibling will get all mom’s money. Till you have it don’t plan with it.


When someone dies you cannot grab money. Personal property, yes. Was it money? What did the estate doc/probate court say? Were you around and helpful to your dad through his life? Was sibling?


DP. You would be surprised. People do this all the time, but to stop it you have to go to court. Which costs a lot in time and $$. There's very little recourse.


We had this with my sis in law. When my MIL was dying, she went through the house and grabbed tons of cash, jewelry, my FIL's watch, etc. She also claimed their mom had given her the cars. My husband just kind of gave up on it because it was hard to prove exactly what she'd taken.

Now SIL also tried to claim their mom (who was literally unconscious) and also given her the house with a quitclaim deed (she had a notary friend fake it), but she'd fortunately done it incompetently and the estate lawyer was able to handle that easily. But we just let a lot of it go because it wasn't worth the legal fees.


Cash? Personal property? Sure. You cannot grab assets unless on the account or you’re the beneficiary.


You can if you're willing to commit fraud.
Anonymous
Post 06/05/2026 09:58     Subject: Inheritance

Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:No, I was promised inheritance but they never gave me a dime when alive. Dad died and gave most of it to random women. My sibling grabbed the rest. I suspect sibling will get all mom’s money. Till you have it don’t plan with it.


When someone dies you cannot grab money. Personal property, yes. Was it money? What did the estate doc/probate court say? Were you around and helpful to your dad through his life? Was sibling?


DP. You would be surprised. People do this all the time, but to stop it you have to go to court. Which costs a lot in time and $$. There's very little recourse.


We had this with my sis in law. When my MIL was dying, she went through the house and grabbed tons of cash, jewelry, my FIL's watch, etc. She also claimed their mom had given her the cars. My husband just kind of gave up on it because it was hard to prove exactly what she'd taken.

Now SIL also tried to claim their mom (who was literally unconscious) and also given her the house with a quitclaim deed (she had a notary friend fake it), but she'd fortunately done it incompetently and the estate lawyer was able to handle that easily. But we just let a lot of it go because it wasn't worth the legal fees.


Cash? Personal property? Sure. You cannot grab assets unless on the account or you’re the beneficiary.
Anonymous
Post 06/05/2026 09:42     Subject: Inheritance

Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:No, I was promised inheritance but they never gave me a dime when alive. Dad died and gave most of it to random women. My sibling grabbed the rest. I suspect sibling will get all mom’s money. Till you have it don’t plan with it.


When someone dies you cannot grab money. Personal property, yes. Was it money? What did the estate doc/probate court say? Were you around and helpful to your dad through his life? Was sibling?


DP. You would be surprised. People do this all the time, but to stop it you have to go to court. Which costs a lot in time and $$. There's very little recourse.


We had this with my sis in law. When my MIL was dying, she went through the house and grabbed tons of cash, jewelry, my FIL's watch, etc. She also claimed their mom had given her the cars. My husband just kind of gave up on it because it was hard to prove exactly what she'd taken.

Now SIL also tried to claim their mom (who was literally unconscious) and also given her the house with a quitclaim deed (she had a notary friend fake it), but she'd fortunately done it incompetently and the estate lawyer was able to handle that easily. But we just let a lot of it go because it wasn't worth the legal fees.
Anonymous
Post 06/05/2026 09:38     Subject: Inheritance

Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:No, I was promised inheritance but they never gave me a dime when alive. Dad died and gave most of it to random women. My sibling grabbed the rest. I suspect sibling will get all mom’s money. Till you have it don’t plan with it.


When someone dies you cannot grab money. Personal property, yes. Was it money? What did the estate doc/probate court say? Were you around and helpful to your dad through his life? Was sibling?


DP. You would be surprised. People do this all the time, but to stop it you have to go to court. Which costs a lot in time and $$. There's very little recourse.
Anonymous
Post 06/05/2026 09:24     Subject: Re:Inheritance

Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:I do not count on it.

Memory care is $140,000 to more than $220,000 yearly.

They could need memory care and that would eat up 2.5 M pretty quick, especially if there are two.



No way. These estimates are way overblown. First off if you’re in memory care you have no other expenses. You also still earn social security, pension, dividends etc.

The chance of you having someone in memory care for years and the spouse too means you moved them there too early. The average stay isn’t even 2 years.

You should be more worried the market collapses.


Those prices for memory care are definitely not overestimated. Not everyone wants to go to a facility. My parents want full time carers and at $30/hour it's over $250,000 a year plus taxes, and house expenses, meds, etc.


This is crazy expensive and you can use common sense to figure out this is abnormal. There would be a huge market if you could take care of a couple 24-7 and earn $250k without even having a college diploma. Heck even at $150k you could have live-in help.

My own parent ended up in memory care and it cost us all out maybe $250k over 2.5 years at a facility. He earned interest and dividends at this time and his net worth continued to grow.

Do you also think college has to be $80k per year? I ask because it’s a similar mentality and it just means you’re a big spender and aren’t smart about things. Sure, if you want to spend $1 million educating your kids and $1 million on LTC you can do that. But it isn’t necessary.



The providers themselves aren’t getting paid the whole amount, though. Unless this PP just went out and hired people directly and is writing them checks, which I doubt, that cost includes operating costs and a profit margin for their employer.


The point is that if it really was $250k a year for normal care and this was commonplace, there would be a market for this. $250k is a fantastic salary for someone without a degree. Spending that kind of money isn’t necessary.


you're an idiot. it's not $250k. it's $83k each for three people to get 24 hour shifts covered.
Anonymous
Post 06/05/2026 09:18     Subject: Re:Inheritance

Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:I do not count on it.

Memory care is $140,000 to more than $220,000 yearly.

They could need memory care and that would eat up 2.5 M pretty quick, especially if there are two.



No way. These estimates are way overblown. First off if you’re in memory care you have no other expenses. You also still earn social security, pension, dividends etc.

The chance of you having someone in memory care for years and the spouse too means you moved them there too early. The average stay isn’t even 2 years.

You should be more worried the market collapses.


Those prices for memory care are definitely not overestimated. Not everyone wants to go to a facility. My parents want full time carers and at $30/hour it's over $250,000 a year plus taxes, and house expenses, meds, etc.


This is crazy expensive and you can use common sense to figure out this is abnormal. There would be a huge market if you could take care of a couple 24-7 and earn $250k without even having a college diploma. Heck even at $150k you could have live-in help.

My own parent ended up in memory care and it cost us all out maybe $250k over 2.5 years at a facility. He earned interest and dividends at this time and his net worth continued to grow.

Do you also think college has to be $80k per year? I ask because it’s a similar mentality and it just means you’re a big spender and aren’t smart about things. Sure, if you want to spend $1 million educating your kids and $1 million on LTC you can do that. But it isn’t necessary.



The providers themselves aren’t getting paid the whole amount, though. Unless this PP just went out and hired people directly and is writing them checks, which I doubt, that cost includes operating costs and a profit margin for their employer.


The point is that if it really was $250k a year for normal care and this was commonplace, there would be a market for this. $250k is a fantastic salary for someone without a degree. Spending that kind of money isn’t necessary.
Anonymous
Post 06/05/2026 08:53     Subject: Inheritance

Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:OP, you really need to reframe this scenario because the additional details you've shared show that it's not really about the inheritance.

Here is the fact pattern:
You have $10M in assets, are married, and are around 50 years old.
Your HHI is $500-700k/year and you plan to work an additional 10-15 years.
You've been saving $50k/year in a brokerage account, in addition to tax-advantaged saving for retirement.
Your parents are 80+ and you expect an inheritance.

Here is your question:
Given the facts above, can you spend the $50k/year instead of continuing to add savings to your brokerage?

And the answer is 100% yes.


What I'm confused by is that the extra 50k/year should be peanuts compared to the returns on the existing savings. Why the inheritance would even be in the conversation here doesn't make sense.


Yes, exactly. That's why reframing the question is necessary - OP is trying to anchor the decision to the inheritance but the inheritance is basically irrelevant given the other facts.
Anonymous
Post 06/05/2026 08:38     Subject: Inheritance

Anonymous wrote:OP, you really need to reframe this scenario because the additional details you've shared show that it's not really about the inheritance.

Here is the fact pattern:
You have $10M in assets, are married, and are around 50 years old.
Your HHI is $500-700k/year and you plan to work an additional 10-15 years.
You've been saving $50k/year in a brokerage account, in addition to tax-advantaged saving for retirement.
Your parents are 80+ and you expect an inheritance.

Here is your question:
Given the facts above, can you spend the $50k/year instead of continuing to add savings to your brokerage?

And the answer is 100% yes.


What I'm confused by is that the extra 50k/year should be peanuts compared to the returns on the existing savings. Why the inheritance would even be in the conversation here doesn't make sense.
Anonymous
Post 06/05/2026 08:34     Subject: Inheritance

OP, you really need to reframe this scenario because the additional details you've shared show that it's not really about the inheritance.

Here is the fact pattern:
You have $10M in assets, are married, and are around 50 years old.
Your HHI is $500-700k/year and you plan to work an additional 10-15 years.
You've been saving $50k/year in a brokerage account, in addition to tax-advantaged saving for retirement.
Your parents are 80+ and you expect an inheritance.

Here is your question:
Given the facts above, can you spend the $50k/year instead of continuing to add savings to your brokerage?

And the answer is 100% yes.
Anonymous
Post 06/05/2026 08:30     Subject: Re:Inheritance

Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:I do not count on it.

Memory care is $140,000 to more than $220,000 yearly.

They could need memory care and that would eat up 2.5 M pretty quick, especially if there are two.



No way. These estimates are way overblown. First off if you’re in memory care you have no other expenses. You also still earn social security, pension, dividends etc.

The chance of you having someone in memory care for years and the spouse too means you moved them there too early. The average stay isn’t even 2 years.

You should be more worried the market collapses.


Those prices for memory care are definitely not overestimated. Not everyone wants to go to a facility. My parents want full time carers and at $30/hour it's over $250,000 a year plus taxes, and house expenses, meds, etc.


This is crazy expensive and you can use common sense to figure out this is abnormal. There would be a huge market if you could take care of a couple 24-7 and earn $250k without even having a college diploma. Heck even at $150k you could have live-in help.

My own parent ended up in memory care and it cost us all out maybe $250k over 2.5 years at a facility. He earned interest and dividends at this time and his net worth continued to grow.

Do you also think college has to be $80k per year? I ask because it’s a similar mentality and it just means you’re a big spender and aren’t smart about things. Sure, if you want to spend $1 million educating your kids and $1 million on LTC you can do that. But it isn’t necessary.



The providers themselves aren’t getting paid the whole amount, though. Unless this PP just went out and hired people directly and is writing them checks, which I doubt, that cost includes operating costs and a profit margin for their employer.