Anonymous wrote:I can't believe how many of my teen's friends' parents let them keep their phones and laptops in their bedrooms overnight. I am apparently the mean, super strict parent who makes my teen put his technology in my bedroom overnight. He keeps begging to keep it so he can snapchat with whatever girl he is interested in or friends. He says it is embarrassing that he has to stop talking to someone at 11:30 when the girl's parents let her have the phone in her room overnight.

I don't get why parents are letting their kids have unfettered access to a device that is shown to be so harmful to teens. Do we really want our teens up until the wee hours scrolling and getting 4-6 hours of sleep? I am sure the sleep deprivation is as big of a problem as the social media.

People who let their teens have access to phones/laptops overnight - do you think it's good for them to be on them all night? Do you think they're honestly putting it away at a responsible hour? Or is the fight over it just too much trouble (it is a TON of trouble, let me assure you).

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Anonymous wrote:11:30 is very generous. Good for you, OP.

Those of us who care about keeping our kids healthy, safe and engaged with the world are setting and reinforcing boundaries.

There's a shocking overlap between the parents who were hyper vigilant about the danger of food ingredients/dye when their kids are younger who then also allow phones in bedrooms overnight. It's bizarre. I think a venn diagram to include parents who buy their teens alcohol would show substantial overlap as well.

NP and while I haven’t noticed this, I have noticed that parents of tweens and teens truly don’t seem to grasp that their children need good sleep now as much as they did when they were very young. Tween and teen brain development is strongly linked to sleep health, and it’s wild to me that parents don’t guide their kids to make good, healthy sleep habits.

My 13-year-olds phone goes in my room when she comes up to take a shower at 8 p.m., and it doesn’t go back in her hand until the next day. That will not change until she is out of my house. (Nights where she has an activity, social plans, or a sleepover are different, of course.) She has plenty of social time and screen time, and the evenings are protected, especially school nights.

OP here. This is what bothers me the most -- these kids need SLEEP, particularly if they are athletes, and we're setting them up to be using these designed-to-be-addictive devices way too late at night to ensure a solid 7+ (which is still low IMO) of sleep. Their brains aren't capable of the kind of self-regulation required to put the phone away at 10:30/11 pm. And we aren't helping them.

100%

We've been super strict about our kids getting enough sleep. Can they stay up late on weekends? Absolutely. But on school nights/sports nights, they need rest. They also recognize that they feel better on days when they are fully rested.

Congratulations. Would you prefer a cookie or a gold star?

She doesn’t need a gold star. But you sound like you could use a good cookie. Why so angry?

Where do you get angry? I was trying to give her the validation that she clearly desperately craves!

Sarcastic and rude is usually a pretty good indicator of angry

It’s weird that you would assume sarcasm. Almost like you’re telling on yourself as to what you really think of PP’s attitude and motivation…

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Anonymous wrote:11:30 is very generous. Good for you, OP.

Those of us who care about keeping our kids healthy, safe and engaged with the world are setting and reinforcing boundaries.

There's a shocking overlap between the parents who were hyper vigilant about the danger of food ingredients/dye when their kids are younger who then also allow phones in bedrooms overnight. It's bizarre. I think a venn diagram to include parents who buy their teens alcohol would show substantial overlap as well.

NP and while I haven’t noticed this, I have noticed that parents of tweens and teens truly don’t seem to grasp that their children need good sleep now as much as they did when they were very young. Tween and teen brain development is strongly linked to sleep health, and it’s wild to me that parents don’t guide their kids to make good, healthy sleep habits.

My 13-year-olds phone goes in my room when she comes up to take a shower at 8 p.m., and it doesn’t go back in her hand until the next day. That will not change until she is out of my house. (Nights where she has an activity, social plans, or a sleepover are different, of course.) She has plenty of social time and screen time, and the evenings are protected, especially school nights.

OP here. This is what bothers me the most -- these kids need SLEEP, particularly if they are athletes, and we're setting them up to be using these designed-to-be-addictive devices way too late at night to ensure a solid 7+ (which is still low IMO) of sleep. Their brains aren't capable of the kind of self-regulation required to put the phone away at 10:30/11 pm. And we aren't helping them.

100%

We've been super strict about our kids getting enough sleep. Can they stay up late on weekends? Absolutely. But on school nights/sports nights, they need rest. They also recognize that they feel better on days when they are fully rested.

Congratulations. Would you prefer a cookie or a gold star?

She doesn’t need a gold star. But you sound like you could use a good cookie. Why so angry?

Where do you get angry? I was trying to give her the validation that she clearly desperately craves!

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Anonymous wrote:11:30 is very generous. Good for you, OP.

Those of us who care about keeping our kids healthy, safe and engaged with the world are setting and reinforcing boundaries.

There's a shocking overlap between the parents who were hyper vigilant about the danger of food ingredients/dye when their kids are younger who then also allow phones in bedrooms overnight. It's bizarre. I think a venn diagram to include parents who buy their teens alcohol would show substantial overlap as well.

NP and while I haven’t noticed this, I have noticed that parents of tweens and teens truly don’t seem to grasp that their children need good sleep now as much as they did when they were very young. Tween and teen brain development is strongly linked to sleep health, and it’s wild to me that parents don’t guide their kids to make good, healthy sleep habits.

My 13-year-olds phone goes in my room when she comes up to take a shower at 8 p.m., and it doesn’t go back in her hand until the next day. That will not change until she is out of my house. (Nights where she has an activity, social plans, or a sleepover are different, of course.) She has plenty of social time and screen time, and the evenings are protected, especially school nights.

OP here. This is what bothers me the most -- these kids need SLEEP, particularly if they are athletes, and we're setting them up to be using these designed-to-be-addictive devices way too late at night to ensure a solid 7+ (which is still low IMO) of sleep. Their brains aren't capable of the kind of self-regulation required to put the phone away at 10:30/11 pm. And we aren't helping them.

100%

We've been super strict about our kids getting enough sleep. Can they stay up late on weekends? Absolutely. But on school nights/sports nights, they need rest. They also recognize that they feel better on days when they are fully rested.

Congratulations. Would you prefer a cookie or a gold star?

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Anonymous wrote:My 12 and 13 year olds don’t have restrictions. It’s up to them when they go to bed. They can suffer the consequences. Thankfully, they’re good about it and go to bed at a decent time.

You’re a neglectful parent.

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Anonymous wrote:My 12 and 13 year olds don’t have restrictions. It’s up to them when they go to bed. They can suffer the consequences. Thankfully, they’re good about it and go to bed at a decent time.

13 is about when I stopped restrictions with my youngest. I don't remember when with my oldest. Maybe around the same age.

Trashy family. Definitely divorced.

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Anonymous wrote:My 12 and 13 year olds don’t have restrictions. It’s up to them when they go to bed. They can suffer the consequences. Thankfully, they’re good about it and go to bed at a decent time.

13 is about when I stopped restrictions with my youngest. I don't remember when with my oldest. Maybe around the same age.

Trashy family. Definitely divorced.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:My 12 and 13 year olds don’t have restrictions. It’s up to them when they go to bed. They can suffer the consequences. Thankfully, they’re good about it and go to bed at a decent time.

13 is about when I stopped restrictions with my youngest. I don't remember when with my oldest. Maybe around the same age.

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Anonymous wrote:My 12 and 13 year olds don’t have restrictions. It’s up to them when they go to bed. They can suffer the consequences. Thankfully, they’re good about it and go to bed at a decent time.

You’re a neglectful parent.

And yet her kids are better than yours. Sorry your genes suck.

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If only their mommies would have seized their phones at 8 pm! Things could have worked out so differently.

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Anonymous wrote:11:30 is very generous. Good for you, OP.

Those of us who care about keeping our kids healthy, safe and engaged with the world are setting and reinforcing boundaries.

There's a shocking overlap between the parents who were hyper vigilant about the danger of food ingredients/dye when their kids are younger who then also allow phones in bedrooms overnight. It's bizarre. I think a venn diagram to include parents who buy their teens alcohol would show substantial overlap as well.

NP and while I haven’t noticed this, I have noticed that parents of tweens and teens truly don’t seem to grasp that their children need good sleep now as much as they did when they were very young. Tween and teen brain development is strongly linked to sleep health, and it’s wild to me that parents don’t guide their kids to make good, healthy sleep habits.

My 13-year-olds phone goes in my room when she comes up to take a shower at 8 p.m., and it doesn’t go back in her hand until the next day. That will not change until she is out of my house. (Nights where she has an activity, social plans, or a sleepover are different, of course.) She has plenty of social time and screen time, and the evenings are protected, especially school nights.

OP here. This is what bothers me the most -- these kids need SLEEP, particularly if they are athletes, and we're setting them up to be using these designed-to-be-addictive devices way too late at night to ensure a solid 7+ (which is still low IMO) of sleep. Their brains aren't capable of the kind of self-regulation required to put the phone away at 10:30/11 pm. And we aren't helping them.

100%

We've been super strict about our kids getting enough sleep. Can they stay up late on weekends? Absolutely. But on school nights/sports nights, they need rest. They also recognize that they feel better on days when they are fully rested.

Congratulations. Would you prefer a cookie or a gold star?

NP. You sound grouchy and unfit for civil discourse. Perhaps you need more…sleep?

It’s wrong to congratulate and reward people for their superior parenting and loving their kids more than all the other parents? What has the world come to?!

It seems you need to find another site or maybe a friend, a spouse, anyone who can affirm that your myriad instances of failing to be an adult and a reasonably competent mom were okay.

I honestly don’t understand. I was paying the woman a COMPLIMENT. Isn’t that what she wanted?