Anonymous
Post 05/22/2026 05:57     Subject: If DH just informed wants divorce…
Anonymous wrote:I would take the kids and disappear.




🙄
Anonymous
Post 05/22/2026 00:14     Subject: Re:If DH just informed wants divorce…
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:I am sorry I do not have any advice for you but I just wanted to express my full sympathy for your situation.

I guess it depends on your state, but I don’t think he can legally take your two children to another state w/o your explicit consent.


Currently, he can go anywhere he wants with the children. As can she. Unless a court issues an order to the contrary. OP, before you start burning all your money up on an endless court battle, please try to think strategically. There are endless threads on here of women bemoaning the father's failure to look after the children. You are having this freedom offered up to you in a silver platter. Stop making decisions based on the notion that anything your husband dies is automatically bad for you. Unless this husband is a foreign national and you think he will try to flee the country, you have nothing to worry about. There is an interstate child custody compact which most states use to address multi jurisdictional custody disputes of it comes to that. Slow down and enjoy your extended summer vacation without the kids. Isn't this the break every feminist claims they want?


This will not help her if he files from new state. He hasn’t filed yet.


Can’t file unless you are domiciled 6 mos. Has he already been paying an apartment and utilities elsewhere? Lying that the kids live there a lot too? Stating that the kids prefer him and his new state and house?
Anonymous
Post 05/22/2026 00:12     Subject: If DH just informed wants divorce…
Anonymous wrote:It isn’t a felony or kidnapping for him to take the kids across state lines - in the absence of a custody order, you are both legally entitled to take the kids at any time and to any reasonable place. I literally asked my attorneys this question because I was concerned about it myself as I go through a similar process. For now, you know that the kids will be returned because they are enrolled in school here (or at least, the 7 year old is for sure) and if he were to take them anywhere, he would be expected to have them back at school on the next school day and you would just go there to pick them up and then they’re back with you.

Talk to a few attorneys (Emily Gelmann and Sarah Novak Nesbitt are recommended frequently in family law matters) and figure out who you’re comfortable with. All can offer you immediate guidance during a consult about how to handle his threat to move the kids to another state.


Sorry, there is nothing normal with a divorcing & relocating parent taking two lower elementary school kids on an undefined summer vacation, without the other parent, and maybe bringing them back the day before school.
Anonymous
Post 05/22/2026 00:10     Subject: Re:If DH just informed wants divorce…
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:I am sorry I do not have any advice for you but I just wanted to express my full sympathy for your situation.

I guess it depends on your state, but I don’t think he can legally take your two children to another state w/o your explicit consent.


Currently, he can go anywhere he wants with the children. As can she. Unless a court issues an order to the contrary. OP, before you start burning all your money up on an endless court battle, please try to think strategically. There are endless threads on here of women bemoaning the father's failure to look after the children. You are having this freedom offered up to you in a silver platter. Stop making decisions based on the notion that anything your husband dies is automatically bad for you. Unless this husband is a foreign national and you think he will try to flee the country, you have nothing to worry about. There is an interstate child custody compact which most states use to address multi jurisdictional custody disputes of it comes to that. Slow down and enjoy your extended summer vacation without the kids. Isn't this the break every feminist claims they want?


That’s actually correct. You need an order asap even an emergency order


Yup, once he’s gone over one week or “doesn’t know” when the 4 and 7 yo will come back, she seeks a court order. He can play his games with the judge then. Even that will still take a few weeks to work out but at least you are documenting his lies, omittances, contempt of court and behaviors with the court.
Anonymous
Post 05/22/2026 00:08     Subject: If DH just informed wants divorce…
Anonymous wrote:Why would he want to move to another state and take the kids with him? That's a little strange unless he has a job lined up or family there.


More than a little strange. He’s hoping OP shuts up and goes away, so he doesn’t.
Anonymous
Post 05/22/2026 00:07     Subject: If DH just informed wants divorce…
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:I would take the kids and disappear.



And I would prosecute you for kidnapping or custodial interference.


Excellent advice for Op.

How should she handle his current threat to take the kids all summer for an undefined and indefinite amount of time?


She should threaten to prosecute him for kidnapping or custodial interference.

Duh.


Talk about your empty threats. Unless she is an officer of the law, she isn’t prosecuting anyone.

Do you even fathom how monumentally stupid you sound?


Your multiple unhinged Troll posts are the only thing stupid here. DCUM is really circling the toilet


True, it’s the sewage dumping into the Potomac as we generate more and more.
Anonymous
Post 05/21/2026 23:16     Subject: If DH just informed wants divorce…
Filing first in order to get a temporary child custody agreement set up is not some kind of crazy legal strategy, and he can still take the kids on a trip.
Anonymous
Post 05/21/2026 22:38     Subject: If DH just informed wants divorce…
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:Why would he want to move to another state and take the kids with him? That's a little strange unless he has a job lined up or family there.


He already told OP he plans to move to another state.

Yes, but something rings alarm bells based on the facts in the initial post.


No, people went completely insane and read their own facts into the post. No one said that they were taking the kids out of state. No one is kidnapping anyone. Guy came home and asked his wife for a divorce, told her he was moving out of state, told her he still wants to see his kids. He could have told her he was moving them there and enrolling them in school. It sounds like he was clearly talking about visitation.

And all this garbage about first-filing and jurisdiction is half-baked half-lawyer internet garbage. The custody case will be decided where the children reside. It will not be difficult to prove that they reside in whatever part of the DMV the OP lives in now rather than whatever state he wants to relocate to.

This post went alarmist and insane because this board is full of crazy people who think they're lawyers and lawyers who are really brave behind an anonymous tag, not because there were any alarm bells in the original post.


Uhhhh no
Anonymous
Post 05/21/2026 22:29     Subject: If DH just informed wants divorce…
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:It isn’t a felony or kidnapping for him to take the kids across state lines - in the absence of a custody order, you are both legally entitled to take the kids at any time and to any reasonable place. I literally asked my attorneys this question because I was concerned about it myself as I go through a similar process. For now, you know that the kids will be returned because they are enrolled in school here (or at least, the 7 year old is for sure) and if he were to take them anywhere, he would be expected to have them back at school on the next school day and you would just go there to pick them up and then they’re back with you.

Talk to a few attorneys (Emily Gelmann and Sarah Novak Nesbitt are recommended frequently in family law matters) and figure out who you’re comfortable with. All can offer you immediate guidance during a consult about how to handle his threat to move the kids to another state.


He's also just as legally entitled to enroll them in school in the new state, in the absence of an order otherwise.


Yes, that was exactly my point. For now, they’re enrolled here so she knows they’ll be here because they have to go to school. That buys her a few weeks of time. But she should urgently be working on getting some sort of order in place that spells out these details.
Anonymous
Post 05/21/2026 11:39     Subject: If DH just informed wants divorce…
OP, you need to get a lawyer and find out the options since he has not filed yet. Does he have a lawyer? Does he have a job/family where he is moving? What kind of "out of state" move are we talking about – like MD to VA or more like DC to Chicago for distance? Is there reason to suspect that he wouldn't bring the kids back?

Try to strip out emotion – which is hard, especially in a situation like this.

But please find a lawyer.

Like a PP, my ex did travel with our kids, even internationally, before we were divorced and before anyone filed. But it was a few weeks and my kids were older and there was no question that they'd come home and be able to communicate freely during the away time. It was not an amicable divorce, despite appearances, but I had no reason to object. The specifics of your situation will be important.
Anonymous
Post 05/21/2026 06:31     Subject: Re:If DH just informed wants divorce…
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:I am sorry I do not have any advice for you but I just wanted to express my full sympathy for your situation.

I guess it depends on your state, but I don’t think he can legally take your two children to another state w/o your explicit consent.


Currently, he can go anywhere he wants with the children. As can she. Unless a court issues an order to the contrary. OP, before you start burning all your money up on an endless court battle, please try to think strategically. There are endless threads on here of women bemoaning the father's failure to look after the children. You are having this freedom offered up to you in a silver platter. Stop making decisions based on the notion that anything your husband dies is automatically bad for you. Unless this husband is a foreign national and you think he will try to flee the country, you have nothing to worry about. There is an interstate child custody compact which most states use to address multi jurisdictional custody disputes of it comes to that. Slow down and enjoy your extended summer vacation without the kids. Isn't this the break every feminist claims they want?


This will not help her if he files from new state. He hasn’t filed yet.
Anonymous
Post 05/21/2026 03:25     Subject: Re:If DH just informed wants divorce…
Anonymous wrote:Op, I’m so sorry you are going through this. A couple of things occur to me:

1) you should alert the kids school and teachers about a potential custody issue. Better safe than sorry.
2) take care of your health, get an std test
3) if you can manage it, get a therapist

My ex did in fact take our kids on vacation (internationally) before we were formally divorced almost a decade ago. They are now almost adults, and have a good relationship with both parents. My ex sucked as a spouse but is a good parent. Only you know what kind of parent your husband is.


I have a friend whose husband did this and left the kids with his mother overseas for a year because he wanted the kids to speak Chinese and his mother was begging to keep the grandkids. Yup he just went on vacation and came back without the kids.
Anonymous
Post 05/21/2026 03:19     Subject: If DH just informed wants divorce…
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:It sounds like he is agreeing that the children will live where they live now and visit him during summer/school breaks for an extended period of time. I would try to get that in writing as soon as possible so that you have some kind of custody agreement to work with. I would plan for him to be taking them on one of those vacations this summer, possibly a month from now, and consider this as a "plan you are making" rather than an "emotional betrayal you are experiencing."

He sounds cold and organized, which is helpful because you can be cold and organized too. Have your feelings on your own time.


Who’s the default parent?

You don’t take kids that young away for such a long period of time.

Default is one week max and you can each prohibit international travel or require approval and safety measures.


Lol there is no such thing as a "default parent."


In Maryland there is
Anonymous
Post 05/20/2026 23:26     Subject: If DH just informed wants divorce…
Anonymous wrote:It isn’t a felony or kidnapping for him to take the kids across state lines - in the absence of a custody order, you are both legally entitled to take the kids at any time and to any reasonable place. I literally asked my attorneys this question because I was concerned about it myself as I go through a similar process. For now, you know that the kids will be returned because they are enrolled in school here (or at least, the 7 year old is for sure) and if he were to take them anywhere, he would be expected to have them back at school on the next school day and you would just go there to pick them up and then they’re back with you.

Talk to a few attorneys (Emily Gelmann and Sarah Novak Nesbitt are recommended frequently in family law matters) and figure out who you’re comfortable with. All can offer you immediate guidance during a consult about how to handle his threat to move the kids to another state.


He's also just as legally entitled to enroll them in school in the new state, in the absence of an order otherwise.
Anonymous
Post 05/20/2026 23:05     Subject: If DH just informed wants divorce…
It isn’t a felony or kidnapping for him to take the kids across state lines - in the absence of a custody order, you are both legally entitled to take the kids at any time and to any reasonable place. I literally asked my attorneys this question because I was concerned about it myself as I go through a similar process. For now, you know that the kids will be returned because they are enrolled in school here (or at least, the 7 year old is for sure) and if he were to take them anywhere, he would be expected to have them back at school on the next school day and you would just go there to pick them up and then they’re back with you.

Talk to a few attorneys (Emily Gelmann and Sarah Novak Nesbitt are recommended frequently in family law matters) and figure out who you’re comfortable with. All can offer you immediate guidance during a consult about how to handle his threat to move the kids to another state.