Why wouldn't you want to put your kids on the best footing to start their lives? Your husband sounds nuts to me. Also, is he springing this on the kids at 18 or has he been telling them this all along so they can make choices now that will put them in good stead (grades good enough for scholarships, choosing a state school, playing a sport etc)?

Ask your husband how your children are going to earn (conservatively) $60,000/year while attending college.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I'm a little surprised at the uniform reactions on this one. Plenty of people I know went to college with zero help from parents.

Of course there is a ton of life long resentment for it. So your husband and you should be prepared for that.

The other thing is the kids will be forced to make 1 of 2 choices: take a lucrative career they might not like or decide they aren't financially stable enough to have kids. So you all also may need to accept not having grandkids.

Are they your age? The college finance game has changed dramatically in 25 years.

Everyone keeps saying that the finance game has changed so much. But many families couldn’t afford college tuition 25 - 30 years ago. Families were larger. In the mid 90’s tuition and boarding was $100,000 for all four years in the top private schools. The average family salary was $35k. It’s always been tough to afford for most.

No, it wasn't. I went to an out of state school and it was about $40-45K a year and my sibling went to an Ivy and it was 60K or so.

You could finance that education yourself though. Kids cant take on loans like that anymore and thrbcost of school hasn't gone down.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:My DH says similar and I don't care. I just keep funding their 529s yearly. They also have a trust from my family that pays 15k a year currently (could rise in the future since my kids are elementary aged).

DH's argument is that he thinks too many kids get bullsh!t degrees or make C's in college. As an English major who makes more money than him, I call BS on that argument. We'll cross that bridge when we get there. I had many friends who had quirky dual majors that got them a lot of money once they graduated. Best friend was a dual chemistry and fashion design. She works on textile dyes and loves her job.

I actually believe all parents should pay for college. At least pay for state college; I can understand parents not affording private colleges. Part of my argument is that it's parents' fault that the kids don't get more scholarships. If the parents were broke or the kids were homeless, they'd get $$$.

I have informed my kids I will pay for a degree if in a field with good paying jobs, such as law, medicine, or technology. The hobby degrees such as Music, Art, History, or Sociology, I refuse to pay unless the plan is to be a teacher or there is an overwhelming desire to be in this field even if the pay is not that good. None of my children show exceptional talent in art or music so those are off the table: they can scribble drawings or doodle tunes as a hobby that could become more but unlikely. Grandma Moses comes to mind.

I am not saying some degrees have no value, only that some degrees do not result in a job that pays well. Ideally, you will get a degree in a field you love and pays well. The reality us, people choose money over love of a job because with enough money you can buy happiness whereas not so much if poor.

At least for law and medicine, you can major in anything. I studied sociology, became a lawyer, and make over half a million a year.

Anonymous wrote:My DH says similar and I don't care. I just keep funding their 529s yearly. They also have a trust from my family that pays 15k a year currently (could rise in the future since my kids are elementary aged).

DH's argument is that he thinks too many kids get bullsh!t degrees or make C's in college. As an English major who makes more money than him, I call BS on that argument. We'll cross that bridge when we get there. I had many friends who had quirky dual majors that got them a lot of money once they graduated. Best friend was a dual chemistry and fashion design. She works on textile dyes and loves her job.

I actually believe all parents should pay for college. At least pay for state college; I can understand parents not affording private colleges. Part of my argument is that it's parents' fault that the kids don't get more scholarships. If the parents were broke or the kids were homeless, they'd get $$$.

I have informed my kids I will pay for a degree if in a field with good paying jobs, such as law, medicine, or technology. The hobby degrees such as Music, Art, History, or Sociology, I refuse to pay unless the plan is to be a teacher or there is an overwhelming desire to be in this field even if the pay is not that good. None of my children show exceptional talent in art or music so those are off the table: they can scribble drawings or doodle tunes as a hobby that could become more but unlikely. Grandma Moses comes to mind.

I am not saying some degrees have no value, only that some degrees do not result in a job that pays well. Ideally, you will get a degree in a field you love and pays well. The reality us, people choose money over love of a job because with enough money you can buy happiness whereas not so much if poor.

Anonymous wrote:21:03 again. I'm not even sure it's legally possible for an undergrad to get enough loans to cover the entirety of their costs.

This. It's not even possible nor 1980 OP
Your rich husband needs to get a grip..... and cough up the money.

Anonymous wrote:your husband is a pathetic simp

+ 1
And he dislikes his kids.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I'm a little surprised at the uniform reactions on this one. Plenty of people I know went to college with zero help from parents.

Of course there is a ton of life long resentment for it. So your husband and you should be prepared for that.

The other thing is the kids will be forced to make 1 of 2 choices: take a lucrative career they might not like or decide they aren't financially stable enough to have kids. So you all also may need to accept not having grandkids.

Are they your age? The college finance game has changed dramatically in 25 years.

Everyone keeps saying that the finance game has changed so much. But many families couldn’t afford college tuition 25 - 30 years ago. Families were larger. In the mid 90’s tuition and boarding was $100,000 for all four years in the top private schools. The average family salary was $35k. It’s always been tough to afford for most.

Your math doesn't work though.

Just using your example, you are saying it was $25,000 per year and the average family salary was $35,000, so that's 71% of salary.

Today, I would argue the average top private school is about $90,000 and the average family salary is like $80k. That's 112.5% of salary.

Don't disagree it was tough...but it's definitely tougher today.

OP,


Show your husband this thread.





OP's husband, you're a POS.

I don't think Op's husband has an ounce of integrity. He's cheap. And didn't plan. And is wants extras for himself, instead.

This is not about some overarching parenting approach to teach them responsibility.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I'm a little surprised at the uniform reactions on this one. Plenty of people I know went to college with zero help from parents.

Of course there is a ton of life long resentment for it. So your husband and you should be prepared for that.

The other thing is the kids will be forced to make 1 of 2 choices: take a lucrative career they might not like or decide they aren't financially stable enough to have kids. So you all also may need to accept not having grandkids.

Are they your age? The college finance game has changed dramatically in 25 years.

Everyone keeps saying that the finance game has changed so much. But many families couldn’t afford college tuition 25 - 30 years ago. Families were larger. In the mid 90’s tuition and boarding was $100,000 for all four years in the top private schools. The average family salary was $35k. It’s always been tough to afford for most.

No, it wasn't. I went to an out of state school and it was about $40-45K a year and my sibling went to an Ivy and it was 60K or so.

Why are you disagreeing? PP said college was $100K for four years. $40K x 4 = $160K.

My DH says similar and I don't care. I just keep funding their 529s yearly. They also have a trust from my family that pays 15k a year currently (could rise in the future since my kids are elementary aged).

DH's argument is that he thinks too many kids get bullsh!t degrees or make C's in college. As an English major who makes more money than him, I call BS on that argument. We'll cross that bridge when we get there. I had many friends who had quirky dual majors that got them a lot of money once they graduated. Best friend was a dual chemistry and fashion design. She works on textile dyes and loves her job.

I actually believe all parents should pay for college. At least pay for state college; I can understand parents not affording private colleges. Part of my argument is that it's parents' fault that the kids don't get more scholarships. If the parents were broke or the kids were homeless, they'd get $$$.

Your husband lives in an artificial mindset. His parents even paid off your student loans to the tune of $60k.

He needs to get off his high horse and realize his viewpoint is warped

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I'm a little surprised at the uniform reactions on this one. Plenty of people I know went to college with zero help from parents.

Of course there is a ton of life long resentment for it. So your husband and you should be prepared for that.

The other thing is the kids will be forced to make 1 of 2 choices: take a lucrative career they might not like or decide they aren't financially stable enough to have kids. So you all also may need to accept not having grandkids.

Are they your age? The college finance game has changed dramatically in 25 years.

Everyone keeps saying that the finance game has changed so much. But many families couldn’t afford college tuition 25 - 30 years ago. Families were larger. In the mid 90’s tuition and boarding was $100,000 for all four years in the top private schools. The average family salary was $35k. It’s always been tough to afford for most.

No, it wasn't. I went to an out of state school and it was about $40-45K a year and my sibling went to an Ivy and it was 60K or so.

your husband is a pathetic simp