Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Girls need to be more willing to make the first move if they find someone they like.

This is true. We saw it starting in high school. Boys are way, way less likely to make the first move, even when they obviously like the girl.

Yep. My freshman son probably hasn't even noticed that there are girls at his university yet. He's having fun with his friends. He's also very introverted and would probably never make a move on a girl. It's going to take some outgoing girl to notice him and make him her "project" to bring him out of his shell. He would probably go with that.

What is going on with young men today? The literal only thing on my mind when I went to freshman orientation 25 years ago was chasing you know what (tail). I'm pretty sure every other male in my cohort would have said the same thing.

Fear of being a creep. Fear of speaking to a girl and that contact being unwanted. And everything can be recorded and uploaded. If a guy is good looking, he is usually in the clear but if he isn't - then not being seen as a creep is a challenge. Especially for young men with no experience - they don't have a good barometer of what will be seen as wanted or unwanted or as creepy or not creepy. If you read stories online just about anything can be unwanted or creepy if it isn't the right guy. The dynamics have changed and the online shaming is a big thing too. Much safer to just do your own thing. I think young women are confused too.

From what I have seen most now get to know each other though social scenes before getting together. Maybe they are in a club or on a team or in a group project together and once there is a comfort / familiarity then more develops. Or it is friends of friends. Just approaching a stranger and hitting on them is kind of a thing of the past given the risks of it being unwanted.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Girls need to be more willing to make the first move if they find someone they like.

This is true. We saw it starting in high school. Boys are way, way less likely to make the first move, even when they obviously like the girl.

Yep. My freshman son probably hasn't even noticed that there are girls at his university yet. He's having fun with his friends. He's also very introverted and would probably never make a move on a girl. It's going to take some outgoing girl to notice him and make him her "project" to bring him out of his shell. He would probably go with that.

What is going on with young men today? The literal only thing on my mind when I went to freshman orientation 25 years ago was chasing you know what (tail). I'm pretty sure every other male in my cohort would have said the same thing.

Fear of being a creep. Fear of speaking to a girl and that contact being unwanted. And everything can be recorded and uploaded. If a guy is good looking, he is usually in the clear but if he isn't - then not being seen as a creep is a challenge. Especially for young men with no experience - they don't have a good barometer of what will be seen as wanted or unwanted or as creepy or not creepy. If you read stories online just about anything can be unwanted or creepy if it isn't the right guy. The dynamics have changed and the online shaming is a big thing too. Much safer to just do your own thing. I think young women are confused too.

From what I have seen most now get to know each other though social scenes before getting together. Maybe they are in a club or on a team or in a group project together and once there is a comfort / familiarity then more develops. Or it is friends of friends. Just approaching a stranger and hitting on them is kind of a thing of the past given the risks of it being unwanted.

That's so sad. Some of my fondest college memories involved doing cold approaches. We'd hit one of the myriad college bars and my buddy would pick out a girl and give me a time, usually three minutes or less. The goal was to get the number before the clock ran out or I'd have to do something embarrassing. Then I'd pick out a girl and set the time for another buddy. Sometimes one or more of us would score by the end of the night, sometimes we wouldn't. Just great college memories that kids today don't get to experience because they fear woke social media mobs.

Wonder if the girls on the other end of this game would recount it as one of their fondest memories.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Girls need to be more willing to make the first move if they find someone they like.

This is true. We saw it starting in high school. Boys are way, way less likely to make the first move, even when they obviously like the girl.

Yep. My freshman son probably hasn't even noticed that there are girls at his university yet. He's having fun with his friends. He's also very introverted and would probably never make a move on a girl. It's going to take some outgoing girl to notice him and make him her "project" to bring him out of his shell. He would probably go with that.

What is going on with young men today? The literal only thing on my mind when I went to freshman orientation 25 years ago was chasing you know what (tail). I'm pretty sure every other male in my cohort would have said the same thing.

Fear of being a creep. Fear of speaking to a girl and that contact being unwanted. And everything can be recorded and uploaded. If a guy is good looking, he is usually in the clear but if he isn't - then not being seen as a creep is a challenge. Especially for young men with no experience - they don't have a good barometer of what will be seen as wanted or unwanted or as creepy or not creepy. If you read stories online just about anything can be unwanted or creepy if it isn't the right guy. The dynamics have changed and the online shaming is a big thing too. Much safer to just do your own thing. I think young women are confused too.

From what I have seen most now get to know each other though social scenes before getting together. Maybe they are in a club or on a team or in a group project together and once there is a comfort / familiarity then more develops. Or it is friends of friends. Just approaching a stranger and hitting on them is kind of a thing of the past given the risks of it being unwanted.

That's so sad. Some of my fondest college memories involved doing cold approaches. We'd hit one of the myriad college bars and my buddy would pick out a girl and give me a time, usually three minutes or less. The goal was to get the number before the clock ran out or I'd have to do something embarrassing. Then I'd pick out a girl and set the time for another buddy. Sometimes one or more of us would score by the end of the night, sometimes we wouldn't. Just great college memories that kids today don't get to experience because they fear woke social media mobs.

Wonder if the girls on the other end of this game would recount it as one of their fondest memories.

Anonymous wrote:I think social medial has also really impacted things in how it's completely normalized and expected for girls to be super sexy online. Even 5 years ago it was maybe 10% of girls who had a provocative (often tiny bikini) profile pick. Now it's a huge percentage and the most desirable/popular girls will posts endless pictures of themselves half dressed (no judgment--it's good to feel young and beautiful). However, if you're a girl who isn't into this you're pretty invisible to much of the male population and this matters because so many of the relationships or situationships in college start by "kids talking online."

Anonymous wrote:I think social medial has also really impacted things in how it's completely normalized and expected for girls to be super sexy online. Even 5 years ago it was maybe 10% of girls who had a provocative (often tiny bikini) profile pick. Now it's a huge percentage and the most desirable/popular girls will posts endless pictures of themselves half dressed (no judgment--it's good to feel young and beautiful). However, if you're a girl who isn't into this you're pretty invisible to much of the male population and this matters because so many of the relationships or situationships in college start by "kids talking online."

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Girls need to be more willing to make the first move if they find someone they like.

This is true. We saw it starting in high school. Boys are way, way less likely to make the first move, even when they obviously like the girl.

But girls also don't want to make the first move. So nobody is dating. It's just sad. It should not be such a big deal to ask and see what happens.

Lots of kids are dating, just not everyone.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Girls need to be more willing to make the first move if they find someone they like.

This is true. We saw it starting in high school. Boys are way, way less likely to make the first move, even when they obviously like the girl.

But girls also don't want to make the first move. So nobody is dating. It's just sad. It should not be such a big deal to ask and see what happens.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Girls need to be more willing to make the first move if they find someone they like.

This is true. We saw it starting in high school. Boys are way, way less likely to make the first move, even when they obviously like the girl.

Yep. My freshman son probably hasn't even noticed that there are girls at his university yet. He's having fun with his friends. He's also very introverted and would probably never make a move on a girl. It's going to take some outgoing girl to notice him and make him her "project" to bring him out of his shell. He would probably go with that.

What is going on with young men today? The literal only thing on my mind when I went to freshman orientation 25 years ago was chasing you know what (tail). I'm pretty sure every other male in my cohort would have said the same thing.

Fear of being a creep. Fear of speaking to a girl and that contact being unwanted. And everything can be recorded and uploaded. If a guy is good looking, he is usually in the clear but if he isn't - then not being seen as a creep is a challenge. Especially for young men with no experience - they don't have a good barometer of what will be seen as wanted or unwanted or as creepy or not creepy. If you read stories online just about anything can be unwanted or creepy if it isn't the right guy. The dynamics have changed and the online shaming is a big thing too. Much safer to just do your own thing. I think young women are confused too.

From what I have seen most now get to know each other though social scenes before getting together. Maybe they are in a club or on a team or in a group project together and once there is a comfort / familiarity then more develops. Or it is friends of friends. Just approaching a stranger and hitting on them is kind of a thing of the past given the risks of it being unwanted.

That's so sad. Some of my fondest college memories involved doing cold approaches. We'd hit one of the myriad college bars and my buddy would pick out a girl and give me a time, usually three minutes or less. The goal was to get the number before the clock ran out or I'd have to do something embarrassing. Then I'd pick out a girl and set the time for another buddy. Sometimes one or more of us would score by the end of the night, sometimes we wouldn't. Just great college memories that kids today don't get to experience because they fear woke social media mobs.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Girls need to be more willing to make the first move if they find someone they like.

This is true. We saw it starting in high school. Boys are way, way less likely to make the first move, even when they obviously like the girl.

Yep. My freshman son probably hasn't even noticed that there are girls at his university yet. He's having fun with his friends. He's also very introverted and would probably never make a move on a girl. It's going to take some outgoing girl to notice him and make him her "project" to bring him out of his shell. He would probably go with that.

What is going on with young men today? The literal only thing on my mind when I went to freshman orientation 25 years ago was chasing you know what (tail). I'm pretty sure every other male in my cohort would have said the same thing.

Fear of being a creep. Fear of speaking to a girl and that contact being unwanted. And everything can be recorded and uploaded. If a guy is good looking, he is usually in the clear but if he isn't - then not being seen as a creep is a challenge. Especially for young men with no experience - they don't have a good barometer of what will be seen as wanted or unwanted or as creepy or not creepy. If you read stories online just about anything can be unwanted or creepy if it isn't the right guy. The dynamics have changed and the online shaming is a big thing too. Much safer to just do your own thing. I think young women are confused too.

From what I have seen most now get to know each other though social scenes before getting together. Maybe they are in a club or on a team or in a group project together and once there is a comfort / familiarity then more develops. Or it is friends of friends. Just approaching a stranger and hitting on them is kind of a thing of the past given the risks of it being unwanted.

That's so sad. Some of my fondest college memories involved doing cold approaches. We'd hit one of the myriad college bars and my buddy would pick out a girl and give me a time, usually three minutes or less. The goal was to get the number before the clock ran out or I'd have to do something embarrassing. Then I'd pick out a girl and set the time for another buddy. Sometimes one or more of us would score by the end of the night, sometimes we wouldn't. Just great college memories that kids today don't get to experience because they fear woke social media mobs.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Girls need to be more willing to make the first move if they find someone they like.

This is true. We saw it starting in high school. Boys are way, way less likely to make the first move, even when they obviously like the girl.

Yep. My freshman son probably hasn't even noticed that there are girls at his university yet. He's having fun with his friends. He's also very introverted and would probably never make a move on a girl. It's going to take some outgoing girl to notice him and make him her "project" to bring him out of his shell. He would probably go with that.

What is going on with young men today? The literal only thing on my mind when I went to freshman orientation 25 years ago was chasing you know what (tail). I'm pretty sure every other male in my cohort would have said the same thing.

Fear of being a creep. Fear of speaking to a girl and that contact being unwanted. And everything can be recorded and uploaded. If a guy is good looking, he is usually in the clear but if he isn't - then not being seen as a creep is a challenge. Especially for young men with no experience - they don't have a good barometer of what will be seen as wanted or unwanted or as creepy or not creepy. If you read stories online just about anything can be unwanted or creepy if it isn't the right guy. The dynamics have changed and the online shaming is a big thing too. Much safer to just do your own thing. I think young women are confused too.

From what I have seen most now get to know each other though social scenes before getting together. Maybe they are in a club or on a team or in a group project together and once there is a comfort / familiarity then more develops. Or it is friends of friends. Just approaching a stranger and hitting on them is kind of a thing of the past given the risks of it being unwanted.

That's so sad. Some of my fondest college memories involved doing cold approaches. We'd hit one of the myriad college bars and my buddy would pick out a girl and give me a time, usually three minutes or less. The goal was to get the number before the clock ran out or I'd have to do something embarrassing. Then I'd pick out a girl and set the time for another buddy. Sometimes one or more of us would score by the end of the night, sometimes we wouldn't. Just great college memories that kids today don't get to experience because they fear woke social media mobs.