AHC is definitely not snobby

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Anonymous wrote:Outwardly flashy social climbing types where people are sizing each other up for what they drive, where they live, etc

People with real wealth don’t compete with social climbers. The climbers are in crab barrels with their own kind and they are hella tired. Will someone please grab them a glass of water?

It depends.

People with inherited or generational wealth tend to be pretty low key about it.
They grew up around it and it's nothing special to them.
They did nothing to really earn it so they can't really be proud of it.

For the nouveau riche, they frequently worked hard or got extremely lucky or both and are living a significantly higher standard of living than they grew up with.

Agree with this. And I would put the "crab barrel" person in the second category. Comments like that suggest a lot of insecurity.

I grew up around wealth and have kids in three private schools mentioned here. In general I think the word "snobby" is very subjective and usually suggests that the person using it feels uncomfortable around wealth. I honestly don't feel like I hear it used very often. And in general I think people who act in a stereotypical "snobby" way are probably insecure themselves and trying to put on some sort of image. So please do not be intimidated by those people! Just avoid them in general. They are not better than you, obviously.

Every single private school has down to earth parents - find those people! Many of them will be extremely wealthy but you won't even know it. Those are the people to get to know. Money doesn't have to affect your personality.

+1

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Anonymous wrote:Look at the student parking lot. Are the students all driving the exact same vehicles? I’m weary of the schools full of jeeps and broncos with the overconsumption of rubber ducks on the dashboard. Not only are those giant vehicles expensive, but why are the kids all trying to be clones? That feels very country club versus a schooo community where kids can be themselves and all kinds of diversity is celebrated.

Lot of Subarus in my sons school oddly enough.

Very few kids have cars at all at my boys' school.

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Anonymous wrote:Least snobby/elitist but still academically very challenging: WIS

As someone who just accepted a spot from WIS and am home sick today <3 thank you this is the answer I was scrolling for!!! Excited to be joining the community!

Congratulations, you're going to love it!! WIS is not at all snobby/elitist, and yet absolutely academically challenging!!

Thank you! Honestly, I think that is exactly the combo every parent wants! The anxiety just gets the best of parents sometimes especially if it seems like they got into a more snobby/elitist school and are trying to manage how to fit in themselves.

Yes!

Anonymous wrote:I think in general the least elitist are Catholic schools or K-8th schools. When people are picking a school for their 5 year old to say they graduated from there 12 years from now, they are thinking about the social status.

Hard disagree that I was thinking about education progression, reading curriculums to try to line them up, points where re-evaluation for fit/what pivots may match up to those fit issues, and thinking about how high school admissions created such an unnecessary degree of anxiety in me when I was a child (and how "competition" has only gone up) when I picked the school my child will be im 12 years. Perceived social status was not a consideration, but public schools, religious schools, and k through 12. I would be careful about casting speculation about what goes on in other people's minds when choosing something as important as their child's schooling.

I went to Catholic schools, I did not choose them for my child, but I don't have any negative judgement on anyone who chooses them or public school for that matter. We are spoiled for choice in this area which is a blessing, but it does create a lot of nuance for parents to sort through to find the best path for their child/family no matter which path they choose. Reducing those decisions to social status when there is so much at play overlooks the complexity we are all actually weighing.

Parenting is a LOT of hard work and we are all just trying to do the best we can for our kids.

Anonymous wrote:Least snobby/elitist but still academically very challenging: WIS

+1

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Least snobby/elitist but still academically very challenging: WIS

As someone who just accepted a spot from WIS and am home sick today <3 thank you this is the answer I was scrolling for!!! Excited to be joining the community!

Congratulations, you're going to love it!! WIS is not at all snobby/elitist, and yet absolutely academically challenging!!

Thank you! Honestly, I think that is exactly the combo every parent wants! The anxiety just gets the best of parents sometimes especially if it seems like they got into a more snobby/elitist school and are trying to manage how to fit in themselves.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Least snobby/elitist but still academically very challenging: WIS

As someone who just accepted a spot from WIS and am home sick today <3 thank you this is the answer I was scrolling for!!! Excited to be joining the community!

Congratulations, you're going to love it!! WIS is not at all snobby/elitist, and yet absolutely academically challenging!!

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Anonymous wrote:St. Peter School in Capitol Hill is very snobby.

I only toured St Peter’s, but the mom who led our tour group went out of her way to mention repeatedly the fact her husband was elected partner recently at his BigLaw firm, her multiple vacations to Mustique, the excellent returns on her stock portfolio, and her recommendations for “hidden gem” clothing stores on the Eastern Shore. She wore a black headband and pearls, and made a crack about my wearing blue jeans to the introductory school tour in the morning. It was like watching a perimenopausal Gretchen Wieners in action.

"Hidden gem" clothing stores on the Eastern Shore?! Darling that's not a flex, go abroad darling tell me whether you prefer to shop in London, Paris or St. Barts

Jk but honestly, you gotta take those moments with a grain of salt, everyone is trying to put their best foot forward and people get nervous especially if it is their first rodeo.

(That being said I have had no interactions St. Peter's school, but universally, people do get really nervous on both sides and they can turn out to be the chillest people around once they don't feel like the spotlight is on them)

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Anonymous wrote:NCS depends on the grade. Last year's senior class had very little flashy money. This year's class has quite a bit more extreme money and flash.

STA is a wealthier school but my older kid found his way there and we are not rich or fancy. The boys totally accepted him and he graduated with a half dozen life-long friends.

Boys socialize differently than girls might.

They are less likely to notice wealth and far more likely to notice other things.

Guys do not generally treat each other differently based on wealth, sometimes girls do.

Yes they do. The boys that can't afford to golf or belong to the clubs that the kids are all golfing at do get excluded.

Also the family vacations that those kids don't attend but others do if they summer in the right place also get kids excluded.

The country club folks tend to be the worst offenders in our experience at both schools. The others are pretty normal and nice even if they are wealthy.

We are not wealthy and have two that attended Catholic high schools. DS attended Gonzaga and there was no issue with exclusions based on socioeconomic status. He socialized with very wealthy and middle class kids. My girl attended SR, and the opposite was the case. Girls are very much into brand name labels, makeup, and fancy jeeps. My daughter was repulsed by that culture and had to find a very small group of girls who were more subtle about their wealth or were UMC like us. It's rare there unfortunately.

My daughter is at NCS and the flashy money girls often transfer to Stone Ridge. NCS is surprisingly low key. There are few $$/label types in every class but the vast majority of girls/families are not into labels etc at all.

As a former all girl school attendee who ended up having friends across many, (and now I have a son, not a daughter so I can give it away) here is a cheat code to know if girls are competitive about wealth at a school. When you are chatting with them, casually ask if they do dress exchanges for the brother school dances. If they get excited and tell you about how their exchange works, they aren't competitive like that, if they act grossed out, they are competitive. Ask a couple of people if you get a grossed out girl cause it could just be her, but if they have an active dress exchange black market, they aren't competing with each other even if things look fancy/shiny/put together.

Anonymous wrote:Least snobby/elitist but still academically very challenging: WIS

As someone who just accepted a spot from WIS and am home sick today <3 thank you this is the answer I was scrolling for!!! Excited to be joining the community!