Anonymous wrote:Another parent to a male soccer player here. All State, plays on a top 10 ranked team nationally, #1 ranked team in a competitive New England state, but ultimately he chose to ED to a T20 university and is in. Stats are 1540 SAT, NMSF, etc. He had 2 offers from NESCACs which was honestly what he was hoping for all along, but he realized he just did not want to be in a rural location and wanted a mid sized university. Men's soccer is an uphill climb for 17 yr old American boys - the pool is largely older and international. It's hard seeing his teammates continue on their sports paths, but none of them had his stats and are happy to go virtually anywhere they can play.

We spent a lot of time traveling around meeting coaches and doing official visits. He definitely seems at peace with his decision, and we will enjoy these last months watching him and his team while we can. I bristled at a fellow parent who declared that all the time and money we spent for him to play his sport at one of the highest levels was a waste since he is not playing in college, but I would never trade seeing the joy it brought him all those years, and it kept him busy, out of trouble, and it gave us time together on the road. Good luck to your kiddo!

I have an Ivy sophomore who went through this. I totally get it. My kid is still grinding though. Plays UPSL and played on study abroad (made a 4th tier pro team) and had a USL offer (thinking of a year off). He plays with a bunch of 23-25 year olds that are former D1…and he does school club too…so I’m still watching him play a lot .

If your kid finds he misses it, there is so much opportunity to keep playing. Best of luck !

My kid decided against playing in college (for small D3 schools), and is attending their dream college. They are staying involved in the sport through playing intramurals and coaching a local rec team. That local sports organization happens to be their nemesis during the time they played that club sport growing up.

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Anonymous wrote:I know some parents would think this was crazy but it is what my child did- choose a highly ranked public over and Ivy because of the cost difference. $0 vs $96,000 was the deciding factor.

Kid is happy in both the sport and the school.

Was your kid actually offered a spot at an ivy? We went through recruiting, too. Since you know an ivy was not offering $ (except true need based money), I'd be surprised you went so far in the process as being offered a spot through an app or athletics if you knew you couldn't justify the cost.

Yes- got an official offer from an Ivy and then a few weeks later got official offers from highly ranked public and was surprised one was fully covered (80% athletic/20% academic)

Another parent to a male soccer player here. All State, plays on a top 10 ranked team nationally, #1 ranked team in a competitive New England state, but ultimately he chose to ED to a T20 university and is in. Stats are 1540 SAT, NMSF, etc. He had 2 offers from NESCACs which was honestly what he was hoping for all along, but he realized he just did not want to be in a rural location and wanted a mid sized university. Men's soccer is an uphill climb for 17 yr old American boys - the pool is largely older and international. It's hard seeing his teammates continue on their sports paths, but none of them had his stats and are happy to go virtually anywhere they can play.

We spent a lot of time traveling around meeting coaches and doing official visits. He definitely seems at peace with his decision, and we will enjoy these last months watching him and his team while we can. I bristled at a fellow parent who declared that all the time and money we spent for him to play his sport at one of the highest levels was a waste since he is not playing in college, but I would never trade seeing the joy it brought him all those years, and it kept him busy, out of trouble, and it gave us time together on the road. Good luck to your kiddo!

Anonymous wrote:I know some parents would think this was crazy but it is what my child did- choose a highly ranked public over and Ivy because of the cost difference. $0 vs $96,000 was the deciding factor.

Kid is happy in both the sport and the school.

Was your kid actually offered a spot at an ivy? We went through recruiting, too. Since you know an ivy was not offering $ (except true need based money), I'd be surprised you went so far in the process as being offered a spot through an app or athletics if you knew you couldn't justify the cost.

We just went the recruiting process with DS, and he did not have a lot of choices when it came down to offers . . . he had two with promised admissions support, and only one of them fit the bill for academics, overall fit, and connecting with the coach. If he had to compromise on any of those things, he would have opted out of recruitment.

Lots of kids choose to compromise, but my guess is that those who do are more likely to have regrets than those who don't.

I know some parents would think this was crazy but it is what my child did- choose a highly ranked public over and Ivy because of the cost difference. $0 vs $96,000 was the deciding factor.

Kid is happy in both the sport and the school.

Most common reason in my experience is kids who wanted to attend a Power 4 school with a strong sports student culture (think Penn State or UGA or equivalent)...and they were clearly not at that caliber of athlete.

Some play club, though most do not...depends how seriously the club team operates.

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Anonymous wrote:My kid and many of her friends at UVA made the same decision. Is the grind really worth it, if they end up a lower academic universities just to play their sport?

You believe that they were all recruited to play sports? I doubt it.

Did I say “all”? I said, “many”. And yes, small D3 schools seem desperate to fill their rosters. What kind of high academic student would want to go to an in the middle of nowhere college of 1,200-1,800 students, with an 80% acceptance rate to play a sport that will give them little to no advantage in their professional life over attending UVA? Add to that, they might even end up paying more than the UVA in state tuition.
Our own daughters never made recruitment videos, or reached out to coaches, yet were contacted multiple times by small colleges. They were good players, but not amazing, and were not interested in missing out on a traditional college experience. Now, to each their own too. Some of their club teammates did end up at small colleges. Some are still playing, others transferred to bigger campuses, and quit the sport.
We loved being club sport parents. The experience, we believe was excellent for our daughters as well. We supported their decisions to quit the sport after high school. There are always intramurals and adult leagues.

This is exactly right. My son is at UVA and still gets emails from coaches at obscure D3 schools “hey it’s not too late for you to come and play for us!” Some of his teammates did that. Others are at UVA or another big school but not playing varsity sport.

Anonymous wrote:Learning a lot about recruiting and college process. Did anyone's child decide not to play based on where they were recruited? My kid is extremely bright and not sure the stars will align, especially having to commit before all acceptances come through.

Sure it happens all of the time. My kids went to a big time athletic HS which is also a feeder to top schools so I've seen most of the scenarios.

Some kids need to play, that is what motivates them to actually go to school. They will choose to go to a lesser school because without playing they won't stick to school. There is also the group that is very susceptible to peer pressure and FOMO. They have to play D1 because most of their social group is going D1 (this happens if you are at a school that is ranked top 20 in the country year after year and virtually all starters are D1 caliber of a lesser or greater level) and they will feel less if they don't. I have seen what I consider to be very bad choices but who an I to judge.

Other kids know what they want for a college experience and walk away from playing even if recruitable because they have an understanding of what they want in their college experience. I see kids doing that frequently as well. A completely recruitable kid from our school a couple of years ago went to Washington to study rather than continuing to play. Where she could play and the college experience weren't aligned and Washington was a better fit for her long term goal of getting a PhD.

Kids drop who find that their actual level isn't aligned to their dreams. There is literally a team for everyone out there, but some kids find out that going D1 might mean Abilene Christian when they dreamed of Notre Dame and Abilene Christian doesn't cut it academically for them or their family. For many of these kids stopping is better than accepting the limits on their abilities so they rationalize 'I was a D1 recruit' but chose not to play and move on. I think that this is a good move for them.

Others rather than completely dropping find their balance which is what mine did in the end. Mine started out D1 focused had very good interest turning into offers going into her junior year. Patriot League, A10, AAC (not ACC) level schools. Pretty burned out after her fall HS season she stopped the process saying that she didn't to move forward because she felt too much impact on what she wanted out of college. After giving herself a bit of space she changed her mind to 'maybe' if she could find the right balance. D3 was originally off of the table because the perceived level of play but when she started up again she started to talk to some D3 programs as well. She learned that the top D3 programs are more than competitive in many sports (there is a lot of overlap between the top D3 schools and the bottom half of D1 schools outside of sports like football and basketball) and that the top D3 schools tend to be in the NESCAC and UAA along with some others so the academics are very high as well. She ended taking a D3 offer, a couple of years later she has played in the NCAA tournament, is currently studying abroad, and is on track in her STEM studies without the types of pushback that she got when considering D1. She couldn't be happier with her choice especially as she has seen some of her former teammates struggle with their choices. She's also found that there are many kids like her both at her school and in competition who made the same choice to drop down. Let your kid work through the process and give them the support that they will need.

It's a journey, but it will all work out in the end.

Anonymous wrote:I think the only time it makes sense to play a sport in college, is when the student gets a scholarship, plus admittance to a school where they would have had no chance without the sport.

I know of families paying full tuition, and their kids are attending a so-so school, plus missing class due to travel, for a sport like field hockey or softball. It makes no sense.

What makes sense to my kid (and our family, but it really was the athlete's decision)-
Chasing goals
High level competition for a bit longer
Making the best friends
Loving the school (a good state flagship they would have probably gotten in regardless)
Support and resources for any aspect of college life and career prep
Experiences (including grinding practice and travel) that are a privilege
Building a resume that shows dedication, hard work, and time management (employers love athletes)

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Anonymous wrote:Most top athletes do not end up selecting lower tiered schools. Either they play at Ivys, or Hopkins, Chicago, military academies, or they play at Duke, Wake, W&M, UVA, Michigan etc.
Most top athletes are committing to top tier schools.

If the athlete is a nonstarter at club.. that's when this decision level comes in.

This is moronically false. Truly top athletes will select schools with usually the best athletic teams and they don't care much about the academic quality of the school.

The UVA baseball coach left to coach at Mississippi State and the bulk of the UVA team transferred with him (because the new coach from Duke brought all his Duke players with him to UVA).

The top Ivy athletes in football and basketball are increasingly transferring to Power 4 schools where they can earn serious NIL $$$s. New flash...it's not Duke or Stanford but places like LSU or Ole Miss.

But families that value education over academics don’t have kids that do this. My kid could have played (was recruited at several D1 soccer schools)- but went to the Ivy, we are talking Fairleigh Dickinson, st Mary, Randolph Macon or Radford….vs the Ivies he was admitted to on academics.

Your example isn't relevant at all...you are talking about attending both a 4th tier academic school and a 4th tier athletic school (BTW, Randolph Macon is D3).

I am sure the STA pitcher attending Alabama could have gone to Harvard if he wanted (and I really mean this...he would have spent considerable time convincing the Harvard coach he really wanted to attend, but admission would have been guaranteed)...but nobody who has designs on an MLB career would ever make that choice.

You really don't understand high academic athletic admissions.....unless he was a very good student it doesn't matter how much the coach wanted him.

He was strong enough academically. I actually do understand it...I am sure much better than you...especially with respect to baseball recruiting. I went through it all with Ivy recruiting and know how low they will go with test scores, grades, et al.