Anonymous wrote:OP, it is pretty typical. Unless, you are going to your state flagship with a bunch of your HS friends and rooming with a friend. New place is difficult. But, I promise that this will get better.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I'm the OP and thank you for all your replies. I did write 2025 in error.

I really appreciate the variety of opinions and I need to read through them again when I have a minute at work.

She did just apply for an on-campus job as another avenue for connecting with other students. I'm proud of her for trying. I think she finds out about this next week and I really hope it works out. There were 6 positions and she applied to be one of the 6. Surely, they will take her? It's just been such a string of rejection after rejection and every opportunity (each club, fraternity, sorority, job) has required multiple interviews, often essays, etc. Another club app is due tonight and it's 6 essays for an outside chance of being chosen by the current students. It gets exhausting.

I'll probably write to the Office of student affairs if she does leave. I'll do this very kindly but I'd like to share her story.

The is good to hear!

Another thought; has she joined a church at her college? Many students join right away, th laugh I know some forget or get too busy with other things on campus.

But she could maybe meet folks through church. Also, see if her university has a chapter of CRU:


https://www.cru.org/

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I'm the OP and thank you for all your replies. I did write 2025 in error.

I really appreciate the variety of opinions and I need to read through them again when I have a minute at work.

She did just apply for an on-campus job as another avenue for connecting with other students. I'm proud of her for trying. I think she finds out about this next week and I really hope it works out. There were 6 positions and she applied to be one of the 6. Surely, they will take her? It's just been such a string of rejection after rejection and every opportunity (each club, fraternity, sorority, job) has required multiple interviews, often essays, etc. Another club app is due tonight and it's 6 essays for an outside chance of being chosen by the current students. It gets exhausting.

I'll probably write to the Office of student affairs if she does leave. I'll do this very kindly but I'd like to share her story.

This sounds like a really miserable environment for a lot of students.

NP.

Thought the same and I have to wonder if this is JHU being discussed?

The single rooms, highly rejective club culture, and spring rush brought Yale to mind.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I'm the OP and thank you for all your replies. I did write 2025 in error.

I really appreciate the variety of opinions and I need to read through them again when I have a minute at work.

She did just apply for an on-campus job as another avenue for connecting with other students. I'm proud of her for trying. I think she finds out about this next week and I really hope it works out. There were 6 positions and she applied to be one of the 6. Surely, they will take her? It's just been such a string of rejection after rejection and every opportunity (each club, fraternity, sorority, job) has required multiple interviews, often essays, etc. Another club app is due tonight and it's 6 essays for an outside chance of being chosen by the current students. It gets exhausting.

I'll probably write to the Office of student affairs if she does leave. I'll do this very kindly but I'd like to share her story.

This sounds like a really miserable environment for a lot of students.

NP.

Thought the same and I have to wonder if this is JHU being discussed?

The single rooms, highly rejective club culture, and spring rush brought Yale to mind.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:This is more for parents of seniors who are reading this, but dorm selection can make such a huge difference and kids don’t usually have a lot of control over it. Freshman at my daughter’s school are placed all over to campuses. The most coveted dorms have students from more than one grade. They are closer to the fraternities and have bigger rooms. My daughter ended up in an older dorm that is only freshman. Her wing is not coed and I’m not sure if any of the building has coed wings. While she would love a larger room, she has friends all across campus and she is, without a doubt, in the most social dorm. I think there is something to be said for putting freshman with only other freshman. They all come into school looking to meet new people and she has made so many good friendships just from being in her dorm. During welcome week, the girls did leave their doors open and met a lot of people. Plus, they have a cafeteria in their building, so they’re constantly running into people they know. I remember hearing this advice from parents last year when we were all a little disgruntled about the building where our kids replaced. However, I would 100% advise your kid to be in a building with just freshman. It really helps build friendships.

How is this helpful when 95% of colleges don't let you pick your dorm?

That is not accurate. Many of my kids friends got to pick their dorm. They may not have had choices over all of them, but most of them did have a choice.

Dp, but agree that most schools, particularly the most selective schools, don’t give freshman a choice.

Anonymous wrote:I am so sorry, OP. This sounds awful for your daughter and is so hard as a parent to feel kid's stress and unhappiness.

The kids we knew who were unhappy as freshman all figured it out by their second semester. And it sounds like your daughter has done absolutely everything right, but the school culture is not meshing. It sounds like a highly rejective culture.

There are SO MANY colleges where you don't have to apply to join clubs and Greek scene is non-existent. Those schools will have an easy entree into social life, even as a sophomore.

Your daughter should start researching which schools have the type of social life she wants. I have kids at different SLACs and neither school has Greek life and all clubs are open to everyone. There may be some larger universities like this as well. They've both joined whatever activities they've wanted. One of the schools even had a winter activities fair so kids who maybe didn't hit the clubs they liked first semester could try something different.

My freshman has made one really good friend who is a sophomore transfer. This person has had zero problem meeting kids and fitting in. I would not let the fear of not making friends keep her from leaving a place where she has no friends.

Good luck! Even just having transfer options can be helpful. If she decides in the spring she doesn't want to leave, she doesn't have to.

Anonymous wrote:My son is a freshman, and he knows three kids that transferred after first semester. One on his floor, one from high school and another was one of his teammates.

Clubs are not easy these days. Especially ones that are business related.

Anonymous wrote:Columbia would seem more likely than Yale.

I doubt that many transfer out of Yale?

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I'm the OP and thank you for all your replies. I did write 2025 in error.

I really appreciate the variety of opinions and I need to read through them again when I have a minute at work.

She did just apply for an on-campus job as another avenue for connecting with other students. I'm proud of her for trying. I think she finds out about this next week and I really hope it works out. There were 6 positions and she applied to be one of the 6. Surely, they will take her? It's just been such a string of rejection after rejection and every opportunity (each club, fraternity, sorority, job) has required multiple interviews, often essays, etc. Another club app is due tonight and it's 6 essays for an outside chance of being chosen by the current students. It gets exhausting.

I'll probably write to the Office of student affairs if she does leave. I'll do this very kindly but I'd like to share her story.

This sounds like a really miserable environment for a lot of students.

NP.

Thought the same and I have to wonder if this is JHU being discussed?

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:This is more for parents of seniors who are reading this, but dorm selection can make such a huge difference and kids don’t usually have a lot of control over it. Freshman at my daughter’s school are placed all over to campuses. The most coveted dorms have students from more than one grade. They are closer to the fraternities and have bigger rooms. My daughter ended up in an older dorm that is only freshman. Her wing is not coed and I’m not sure if any of the building has coed wings. While she would love a larger room, she has friends all across campus and she is, without a doubt, in the most social dorm. I think there is something to be said for putting freshman with only other freshman. They all come into school looking to meet new people and she has made so many good friendships just from being in her dorm. During welcome week, the girls did leave their doors open and met a lot of people. Plus, they have a cafeteria in their building, so they’re constantly running into people they know. I remember hearing this advice from parents last year when we were all a little disgruntled about the building where our kids replaced. However, I would 100% advise your kid to be in a building with just freshman. It really helps build friendships.

How is this helpful when 95% of colleges don't let you pick your dorm?

That is not accurate. Many of my kids friends got to pick their dorm. They may not have had choices over all of them, but most of them did have a choice.