Anonymous wrote:DD is 18, a senior, and a very strong, hard working student (headed to T5 in the fall). She’s been dating her boyfriend her about 6 or 7 months, they have a very healthy & respectful relationship. He’s also 18, very smart and nice kid, and we know him and his family. She’s recently asked if we’d allow him to sleepover at our house or for her to sleep at his. On one hand, this feels like a clear no for us; on the other hand, she’s 18 so we’re trying to balance appropriate boundaries while she becomes more independent.

For parents who’ve btdt, did you allow sleepovers at 18? If so, under what rules/conditions?

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:OP- They have not been intimate, and she’s not planning to be, it’s a pretty innocent relationship. She’s also well educated about sexual health and safety. We try to keep communication open, and she’s very open, she tells me everything about everything, way more than I need to know.

Why do they not want to be intimate?

That seems very strange for two 18 years olds who are in love and want to sleep together in the same bed.

Anonymous wrote:Be the parent. Say no.

If she is not planning on being sexually active there is no need for sleepovers.

Anonymous wrote:OP- They have not been intimate, and she’s not planning to be, it’s a pretty innocent relationship. She’s also well educated about sexual health and safety. We try to keep communication open, and she’s very open, she tells me everything about everything, way more than I need to know.

Anonymous wrote:LOL thinking that going to a "T5" makes it ok to be a floosy

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Yes. BTDT. Son is a college freshman. His girlfriend started occasional sleepovers when he was in his HS senior year. My thought process is, if they’re going to have sex, they’re going to have it somewhere. Might as well be someplace safe. Her parents are never home, so they could have opted to just be at her place. I wanted to keep an open and honest relationship with my son and not have him rarely home and at her house instead.

Boy moms know they won't be the ones taking care of the baby that comes from these sleepovers. Easy to be cavalier on that side.

Anonymous wrote:Yes. BTDT. Son is a college freshman. His girlfriend started occasional sleepovers when he was in his HS senior year. My thought process is, if they’re going to have sex, they’re going to have it somewhere. Might as well be someplace safe. Her parents are never home, so they could have opted to just be at her place. I wanted to keep an open and honest relationship with my son and not have him rarely home and at her house instead.