Anonymous wrote:Actually they do exist and they are living at home after failing out of their after first semester/year now going to community college. And yea they are UMC.

Wait until your kids go to college and read the fb pages of all the parents freaking out about their failed classes and being put on academic probation.

Good luck poster..you are in for a rude awakening!!!!!

Top schools like say Princeton have a 98% graduation rate for all students (and a 98% freshman retention rate). Princeton is around 64% from public school and 36% from private school.

They don't have data on the 2% that drop out...so, a person like Miles Cole (public HS kid; Forbes 30 under 30) who drops out to found a start-up, is in the same statistic of a kid who flunks out.

It's again silly to claim public high school kids are all struggling at these top schools. A school like Princeton has 80% submitting test scores, and average SAT scores of like 1560. The athletes (who skew private school) have 35% getting admitted TO, so that means even more of the general population is submitting scores.

Anonymous wrote:Actually they do exist and they are living at home after failing out of their after first semester/year now going to community college. And yea they are UMC.

Wait until your kids go to college and read the fb pages of all the parents freaking out about their failed classes and being put on academic probation.

Good luck poster..you are in for a rude awakening!!!!!

I am aware of a SJC and GDS kid who have both dropped out. SJC is now taking MoCo CC classes, while the GDS kid I believe is getting psyche help.

I don't take this to mean that SJC and GDS don't prepare the kids to do well in college...or should I based on your logic?

Anonymous wrote:Actually they do exist and they are living at home after failing out of their after first semester/year now going to community college. And yea they are UMC.

Wait until your kids go to college and read the fb pages of all the parents freaking out about their failed classes and being put on academic probation.

Good luck poster..you are in for a rude awakening!!!!!

My daughter is a freshman in college and, according to her, there are more than a few kids who fall into this category. They may have gotten straight A's at their public school, but they are NOT well prepared for college level classes.

Actually they do exist and they are living at home after failing out of their after first semester/year now going to community college. And yea they are UMC.

Wait until your kids go to college and read the fb pages of all the parents freaking out about their failed classes and being put on academic probation.

Good luck poster..you are in for a rude awakening!!!!!

Anonymous wrote:Private school for us was about the whole child development not the best college our kid could get into.
I know plenty of kids from public all with amazing gpa and same resume and couldn’t function when they got to college. Private school really prepared my kids for college. They are thriving making the deans list etc
And when we needed them to lean in for support I was happy for the extra support

Why make shit up to write your post. You don't know "plenty" of kids from public schools with amazing GPAs who weren't able to function when they got to college...because literally, those kids don't exist...unless all the kids you know are from very low-income families that are part of the less than 2% of college students who went to inner-city, non-magnet public schools.

It isn’t really like the choices are directly connected. You do the best for your kid at each stage of their life. For us, I would have felt like a failure putting our kid in public school. You can read about public problems elsewhere on DCUM.

Private school for us was about the whole child development not the best college our kid could get into.
I know plenty of kids from public all with amazing gpa and same resume and couldn’t function when they got to college. Private school really prepared my kids for college. They are thriving making the deans list etc
And when we needed them to lean in for support I was happy for the extra support

I wouldn't describe Gonzaga as an "elite" school. I'd describe it as a Catholic school. Many parents don't choose Catholic schools for academic reasons; they choose them for religious reasons and that's perfectly ok. Academically, most Catholic schools are on par with but generally not better than the better public schools, and I think even Catholic school parents understand that.

With the benefit of hindsight, one of the smartest financial decisions we ever made was to send our kids to good public schools in NOVA and follow that up with state colleges in the case of three of them (two to UVA) and allowing a fourth to attend a top liberal arts college over William & Mary only because merit aid closed the tuition gap substantially. I say this because, when all was said and done, there's no difference between where our kids went to high school and college and where their friends and anyone else we've ever known and how they have landed professionally and personally as adults. Some of the most successful of their peers went to better colleges for sure, but many other didn't. And the same can be said about the ones who have floundered. And more than that, no one talks about colleges or any of that stuff anymore--it just didn't make all that much of a difference in the end.

On the other hand, thanks to the literally hundreds of thousands of dollars that we as a family were able to save and invest by electing this route we have been able to retire in our early 50s with a sizable nest egg, give all of the kids down payments for nice houses in the DMV, buy a second home for the family that we all very much enjoy, have the time, energy (given our age) and interest to provide our grandchildren with free and loving childcare, etc. etc. etc.

There are, of course, people out there with more money than us, and they can pay for all the private schooling and still do everything else for themselves and their kids that we have done, and more power to them. But I doubt their kids are doing better professionally or personally than ours are, and if they are I really doubt (1) that it's because of where they went to high school or college or (2) whatever professional they are pursuing is anything that would have interested our kids anyway.

The replies here are hilarious. Ah yes, I’m dropping $250,000 on high school (not including opportunity costs) and I don’t care what college my kid gets into — as long as he can call up his buddy from high school sophomore French class to get him a job when he’s laid off at 35 yo???? Too funny.

Also love how the replies pretend that a kid’s most critical education occurs during junior high school calculus AB class. Hahaha!!

I suspect most of these replies are coping mechanisms and rationalizations for the reasons that OP suggested — they pissed away a quarter of a million dollars for 10 more points on the SAT and a slightly nicer gym.

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Anonymous wrote:Are parents really pissed if they spend $35k per year on an elite private high school, but their kid ends up at a 2nd tier or 3rd tier college (which likely could have been achieved had the kid just gone to a local public)?

I ask bc I frequently meet alums of Gonzaga and the like who went to college at, like, James Madison or something like that. Seems like a huge waste of honey on the parents’ part.

People have said it here but you are making two incorrect assumptions.

First, many do not put kids in top private to get college placement. It is nice and it could help but college placement is a whole other set of considerations.

Second, many do not view it as a means to get something else. It is its own thing.

Third, for most people at top privates, the tuition (which is way more than 35k a year) is not a significant spend. Meaning it is not missed.

What BS. As if nobody cares about college placement! The whole class from Georgetown Prep could go to community college and nobody would care? What a joke.

Anonymous wrote:I bought a superior education, but more importantly, I bought a peer group and social currency.

Is that what you really wanted to know OP?

College admit is not the highest concern.

There is SO MUCH more to it than a top tier college admit.

You’re delusional. 5 years (or even less) out of college and barely anybody cares what college you went to. And certainly nobody gives a damn what high school you went to!

My spouse works with elite Ivy League grads and nobody ever, ever talks about what freakin high school they went to. It’s not on their professional bios, not on their LinkedIn profiles, not in their conversations. Nothing.

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Anonymous wrote:No, because most people who send their kids to private don't think the tuition part is a big deal. It's about the quality of the environment and learning, not a direct funnel to certain colleges.

Are privates around here $35k? Ours is $52k.

+1. It was never about college placement. It was about the journey. I have zero regrets on the $$$$ we spent K-12. Zero.

This is what parents tell themselves when their kid gets waitlisted at JMU after dropping $200k for high school.

Anonymous wrote:What makes you think we send kids to private school for college placement?

College placement is not a great measure of education but it tracks with test scores and grades.

The instruction in critical thinking, writing, and problem solving are not the same. Standardized tests don't measure these very well but they matter for life outcome.

Furthermore, the friends and connections you form in high school matter. They can help land a first job, get that promotion, or help with life down the road.

I can offer a recent example. My son had a friend from high school who after college suddenly lost a job. With one phone call I got him an interview for his current job that more than doubled his salary.

Public school parents tend to focus on college outcome, while private school parents focus more on life outcome.

Can’t tell you how pathetic and sad one must be to rely on their buddy in high school to get a job after college.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:What makes you think we send kids to private school for college placement?

College placement is not a great measure of education but it tracks with test scores and grades.

The instruction in critical thinking, writing, and problem solving are not the same. Standardized tests don't measure these very well but they matter for life outcome.

Furthermore, the friends and connections you form in high school matter. They can help land a first job, get that promotion, or help with life down the road.

I can offer a recent example. My son had a friend from high school who after college suddenly lost a job. With one phone call I got him an interview for his current job that more than doubled his salary.

Public school parents tend to focus on college outcome, while private school parents focus more on life outcome.

What makes you think public school parents can't make that same phone call? Around here everyone is well connected.

Also, LOL that private school parents aren't ever focused on college outcomes. What a dumb generalization.

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Anonymous wrote:I’d be upset to have my kids in public school and think I had a good outcome just because my kid landed into a top college. These kids still had to sit through public school for K-12 with the class clowns, checked out teachers, low effort curriculum, and severe behavior kids. These parents have no idea what they missed out on in the better private schools for their kids. College is just four years and admissions has become somewhat of a lottery. K-12 is what sets kids up for success, not college. At that point it is too late.


Plenty of public school grads go to T10 colleges, don’t fit in or struggle, and move onto middle management type careers because they never were given the tools to succeed from public. Studying for 16 APs and trying to ace standardized tests doesn’t give you direction or real skills in life.

Plenty also do well. This is like a caricature of the differences as well as the outcomes. Sounds like a huge cope, per OP’s question.

There is plenty to not like about public schools but this take is absurd.

Not really. Most non-magnet public school students at top colleges struggle and don’t have good outcomes afterwards.

That’s an idiotic statement, with zero factual basis.

Kids who graduate Langley or Whitman or Palo Alto High school or any number of high performing public schools located in wealthy areas do just fine at top colleges and many have great outcomes.

Alright, but what about the average public school kid who makes it to a top college? Are they having great outcomes? They are not.

They do not get in. No average kid gets into a top college.

If you went to a top college, you would understand the struggles of public high school students there and after graduation.

Who in the hell knows what kind of high school people went to after college graduation?

Someone else was right. 14 year olds on this thread with too much free time right now.