Anonymous wrote:[twitter]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I'm in the difficult position of being in a private custody evaluation initiated by STBX. Right now I have DC with me 100% of the time and have for many months and they see STBX for a weekend day every week. There are very specific reasons for the 100% of the time and STBX has not pushed back against that, apart from the major action of an entire custody evaluation.

As part of this custody evaluation, I'm required to take a schedule of all holidays and school breaks and break it down into what an "ideal custody schedule" would look like for the custody evaluator to see. Part of the game is that I'm supposed to show that I'm fair and reasonable and want to be cooperative.

However, the reality is that all holidays that we celebrated were my doing. Partly because DH grew up in another country, so things like Memorial Day weekend, Fourth of July, and Thanksgiving meant nothing to him and his instinct was to treat them as regular days- he would often go to work on Fourth of July or Thanksgiving since the office would be quiet and he could get a lot done. He felt it was silly to put effort into them if they weren't "his" holidays. Religious holidays like Easter were also not his thing, because I am religious and he is non-practicing. Christmas is really tricky, because he liked to show up as a participant but didn't do any of the work that made the holiday special- not even helping with Santa's preparations and the fun parts like that.

He doesn't have extended family nearby that would be hosting these holidays if he had DC with them for him, so they would just be alone, possibly not doing anything.

Any ideas about how to manage this? It feels like a bit of a trap either way.

Here. Dad gets every other weekend and that’s it. You are saying no holidays so you vs. it get mad he traveled.

He made a huge fuss about having the kids 12/26-12/28 for Christmas, I said yes, the kids got excited for it, and then bailed days before.

Well you weren’t actually giving him Christmas so I can’t totally blame him.

Just stop trying to control him and accept what he is likely to get through the courts, which definitely includes equally shared holidays.

Right got it, unless I give everything to him I’m the bad guy.

Grateful to his attorney for taking the time to pot on DCUM.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I'm in the difficult position of being in a private custody evaluation initiated by STBX. Right now I have DC with me 100% of the time and have for many months and they see STBX for a weekend day every week. There are very specific reasons for the 100% of the time and STBX has not pushed back against that, apart from the major action of an entire custody evaluation.

As part of this custody evaluation, I'm required to take a schedule of all holidays and school breaks and break it down into what an "ideal custody schedule" would look like for the custody evaluator to see. Part of the game is that I'm supposed to show that I'm fair and reasonable and want to be cooperative.

However, the reality is that all holidays that we celebrated were my doing. Partly because DH grew up in another country, so things like Memorial Day weekend, Fourth of July, and Thanksgiving meant nothing to him and his instinct was to treat them as regular days- he would often go to work on Fourth of July or Thanksgiving since the office would be quiet and he could get a lot done. He felt it was silly to put effort into them if they weren't "his" holidays. Religious holidays like Easter were also not his thing, because I am religious and he is non-practicing. Christmas is really tricky, because he liked to show up as a participant but didn't do any of the work that made the holiday special- not even helping with Santa's preparations and the fun parts like that.

He doesn't have extended family nearby that would be hosting these holidays if he had DC with them for him, so they would just be alone, possibly not doing anything.

Any ideas about how to manage this? It feels like a bit of a trap either way.

Here. Dad gets every other weekend and that’s it. You are saying no holidays so you vs. it get mad he traveled.

He made a huge fuss about having the kids 12/26-12/28 for Christmas, I said yes, the kids got excited for it, and then bailed days before.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I'm in the difficult position of being in a private custody evaluation initiated by STBX. Right now I have DC with me 100% of the time and have for many months and they see STBX for a weekend day every week. There are very specific reasons for the 100% of the time and STBX has not pushed back against that, apart from the major action of an entire custody evaluation.

As part of this custody evaluation, I'm required to take a schedule of all holidays and school breaks and break it down into what an "ideal custody schedule" would look like for the custody evaluator to see. Part of the game is that I'm supposed to show that I'm fair and reasonable and want to be cooperative.

However, the reality is that all holidays that we celebrated were my doing. Partly because DH grew up in another country, so things like Memorial Day weekend, Fourth of July, and Thanksgiving meant nothing to him and his instinct was to treat them as regular days- he would often go to work on Fourth of July or Thanksgiving since the office would be quiet and he could get a lot done. He felt it was silly to put effort into them if they weren't "his" holidays. Religious holidays like Easter were also not his thing, because I am religious and he is non-practicing. Christmas is really tricky, because he liked to show up as a participant but didn't do any of the work that made the holiday special- not even helping with Santa's preparations and the fun parts like that.

He doesn't have extended family nearby that would be hosting these holidays if he had DC with them for him, so they would just be alone, possibly not doing anything.

Any ideas about how to manage this? It feels like a bit of a trap either way.

Here. Dad gets every other weekend and that’s it. You are saying no holidays so you vs. it get mad he traveled.

He made a huge fuss about having the kids 12/26-12/28 for Christmas, I said yes, the kids got excited for it, and then bailed days before.

Well you weren’t actually giving him Christmas so I can’t totally blame him.

Just stop trying to control him and accept what he is likely to get through the courts, which definitely includes equally shared holidays.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I'm in the difficult position of being in a private custody evaluation initiated by STBX. Right now I have DC with me 100% of the time and have for many months and they see STBX for a weekend day every week. There are very specific reasons for the 100% of the time and STBX has not pushed back against that, apart from the major action of an entire custody evaluation.

As part of this custody evaluation, I'm required to take a schedule of all holidays and school breaks and break it down into what an "ideal custody schedule" would look like for the custody evaluator to see. Part of the game is that I'm supposed to show that I'm fair and reasonable and want to be cooperative.

However, the reality is that all holidays that we celebrated were my doing. Partly because DH grew up in another country, so things like Memorial Day weekend, Fourth of July, and Thanksgiving meant nothing to him and his instinct was to treat them as regular days- he would often go to work on Fourth of July or Thanksgiving since the office would be quiet and he could get a lot done. He felt it was silly to put effort into them if they weren't "his" holidays. Religious holidays like Easter were also not his thing, because I am religious and he is non-practicing. Christmas is really tricky, because he liked to show up as a participant but didn't do any of the work that made the holiday special- not even helping with Santa's preparations and the fun parts like that.

He doesn't have extended family nearby that would be hosting these holidays if he had DC with them for him, so they would just be alone, possibly not doing anything.

Any ideas about how to manage this? It feels like a bit of a trap either way.

Here. Dad gets every other weekend and that’s it. You are saying no holidays so you vs. it get mad he traveled.

He made a huge fuss about having the kids 12/26-12/28 for Christmas, I said yes, the kids got excited for it, and then bailed days before.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I'm in the difficult position of being in a private custody evaluation initiated by STBX. Right now I have DC with me 100% of the time and have for many months and they see STBX for a weekend day every week. There are very specific reasons for the 100% of the time and STBX has not pushed back against that, apart from the major action of an entire custody evaluation.

As part of this custody evaluation, I'm required to take a schedule of all holidays and school breaks and break it down into what an "ideal custody schedule" would look like for the custody evaluator to see. Part of the game is that I'm supposed to show that I'm fair and reasonable and want to be cooperative.

However, the reality is that all holidays that we celebrated were my doing. Partly because DH grew up in another country, so things like Memorial Day weekend, Fourth of July, and Thanksgiving meant nothing to him and his instinct was to treat them as regular days- he would often go to work on Fourth of July or Thanksgiving since the office would be quiet and he could get a lot done. He felt it was silly to put effort into them if they weren't "his" holidays. Religious holidays like Easter were also not his thing, because I am religious and he is non-practicing. Christmas is really tricky, because he liked to show up as a participant but didn't do any of the work that made the holiday special- not even helping with Santa's preparations and the fun parts like that.

He doesn't have extended family nearby that would be hosting these holidays if he had DC with them for him, so they would just be alone, possibly not doing anything.

Any ideas about how to manage this? It feels like a bit of a trap either way.

Here. Dad gets every other weekend and that’s it. You are saying no holidays so you vs. it get mad he traveled.