Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:OP, almost everyone's hormones fall off a cliff at some point.

If yours don't, you need a sex doll, not an actual woman. Or, you need to date / marry a desperate poor young woman.

If your hormones fall off, you still have an obligation to meet your husband half way and fulfill your marital duties. It is your responsibility to figure it out instead of leaving your husband hanging. For one partner to unilaterally declare the marriage celibate is cruel.

Meeting your husband half way does not make you a sex doll; it makes you a loving and caring partner. Compromise is part of marriage, it is common sense.

Maybe it's just a phrasing thing, but the idea of my wife "fulfilling her marital duties" makes my skin crawl. I want to keep having sex, but I want her to be an enthusiastic participant. If she's not, it's - at *best* - an unnecessarily complicated form of masturbation. I know I've heard wives around here say that "wanting her to want it" is expecting too much; but that's exactly what I want.

That was my point. If wife doesn’t feel like having sex, it is her responsibility to figure out the cause of lack of desire and fix it. So she can enthusiastically have sex. If you don’t see it as your responsibility then you will never put in the effort to fix your issues. And that is cruel to your husband

And if the cause of lack of desire is that the husband is a lazy piece of crap who does nothing around the house, and leaves all childcare, cooking and cleaning to her, is he going to step up? Or is he just going to keep demanding sex and potentially tell her to get on drugs so he can f*** her? It's like you've never spoken to a real wife before.

Eff this mess. Her fault for staying in a relationship she doesn't want to be in. If you're that unhappy, you leave. If you stay because you want the perks, the money, the house, whatever, then you do your job as a wife. The woman in this pathetic example isn't a "real wife" she's a whiny wannabe victim of her own crap decisionmaking.

A woman whose “job” is to fu*k someone is called a prostitute, nut a wife.

Good to know that in your mind the two roles are interchangeable.

Anonymous wrote:When dating someone in their 30s or early 40s, and the sex in the relationship is great. Is there a way of knowing if the woman will maintain her drive as she ages? This is my biggest concern as a man.

Why would you expect a woman's libido to remain constant as she ages? This question seems preposterous. Of course her libido will start declining at some point. There are outliers (e.g., 80 year olds who have sex everyday) but they're just that "outliers."

I'm a 60 year old man and my libido started declining noticeably in my early-mid 50s. I imagine some experience libido loss earlier, some later, but if you live long enough almost everyone likely experiences some decline.

Anonymous wrote:When dating someone in their 30s or early 40s, and the sex in the relationship is great. Is there a way of knowing if the woman will maintain her drive as she ages? This is my biggest concern as a man.

Troll city

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:OP, almost everyone's hormones fall off a cliff at some point.

If yours don't, you need a sex doll, not an actual woman. Or, you need to date / marry a desperate poor young woman.

If your hormones fall off, you still have an obligation to meet your husband half way and fulfill your marital duties. It is your responsibility to figure it out instead of leaving your husband hanging. For one partner to unilaterally declare the marriage celibate is cruel.

Meeting your husband half way does not make you a sex doll; it makes you a loving and caring partner. Compromise is part of marriage, it is common sense.

Maybe it's just a phrasing thing, but the idea of my wife "fulfilling her marital duties" makes my skin crawl. I want to keep having sex, but I want her to be an enthusiastic participant. If she's not, it's - at *best* - an unnecessarily complicated form of masturbation. I know I've heard wives around here say that "wanting her to want it" is expecting too much; but that's exactly what I want.

That was my point. If wife doesn’t feel like having sex, it is her responsibility to figure out the cause of lack of desire and fix it. So she can enthusiastically have sex. If you don’t see it as your responsibility then you will never put in the effort to fix your issues. And that is cruel to your husband

And if the cause of lack of desire is that the husband is a lazy piece of crap who does nothing around the house, and leaves all childcare, cooking and cleaning to her, is he going to step up? Or is he just going to keep demanding sex and potentially tell her to get on drugs so he can f*** her? It's like you've never spoken to a real wife before.

Eff this mess. Her fault for staying in a relationship she doesn't want to be in. If you're that unhappy, you leave. If you stay because you want the perks, the money, the house, whatever, then you do your job as a wife. The woman in this pathetic example isn't a "real wife" she's a whiny wannabe victim of her own crap decisionmaking.

What is a "real wife"? Please do tell us.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:OP, almost everyone's hormones fall off a cliff at some point.

If yours don't, you need a sex doll, not an actual woman. Or, you need to date / marry a desperate poor young woman.

If your hormones fall off, you still have an obligation to meet your husband half way and fulfill your marital duties. It is your responsibility to figure it out instead of leaving your husband hanging. For one partner to unilaterally declare the marriage celibate is cruel.

Meeting your husband half way does not make you a sex doll; it makes you a loving and caring partner. Compromise is part of marriage, it is common sense.

Maybe it's just a phrasing thing, but the idea of my wife "fulfilling her marital duties" makes my skin crawl. I want to keep having sex, but I want her to be an enthusiastic participant. If she's not, it's - at *best* - an unnecessarily complicated form of masturbation. I know I've heard wives around here say that "wanting her to want it" is expecting too much; but that's exactly what I want.

That was my point. If wife doesn’t feel like having sex, it is her responsibility to figure out the cause of lack of desire and fix it. So she can enthusiastically have sex. If you don’t see it as your responsibility then you will never put in the effort to fix your issues. And that is cruel to your husband

And if the cause of lack of desire is that the husband is a lazy piece of crap who does nothing around the house, and leaves all childcare, cooking and cleaning to her, is he going to step up? Or is he just going to keep demanding sex and potentially tell her to get on drugs so he can f*** her? It's like you've never spoken to a real wife before.

Eff this mess. Her fault for staying in a relationship she doesn't want to be in. If you're that unhappy, you leave. If you stay because you want the perks, the money, the house, whatever, then you do your job as a wife. The woman in this pathetic example isn't a "real wife" she's a whiny wannabe victim of her own crap decisionmaking.

Your job as a wife isn't to be an on demand sex worker. Hope that helps.

Usually if I am not in the mood, I will get that way if I go along.

What I refuse to do is say yes if he has been drinking, because sex with a drunk person sober is not enjoyable in any way.

Is there any way of knowing if a man will turn into an asshat and a burdensome man-child down the line, after family responsibilities kick in?

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:OP, almost everyone's hormones fall off a cliff at some point.

If yours don't, you need a sex doll, not an actual woman. Or, you need to date / marry a desperate poor young woman.

If your hormones fall off, you still have an obligation to meet your husband half way and fulfill your marital duties. It is your responsibility to figure it out instead of leaving your husband hanging. For one partner to unilaterally declare the marriage celibate is cruel.

Meeting your husband half way does not make you a sex doll; it makes you a loving and caring partner. Compromise is part of marriage, it is common sense.

Maybe it's just a phrasing thing, but the idea of my wife "fulfilling her marital duties" makes my skin crawl. I want to keep having sex, but I want her to be an enthusiastic participant. If she's not, it's - at *best* - an unnecessarily complicated form of masturbation. I know I've heard wives around here say that "wanting her to want it" is expecting too much; but that's exactly what I want.

I 100% agree. The men who want their wives to have sex with them out of "duty" when they don't want to sound so creepy. Why do you want to have sex with someone who isn't enthusiastically into it? These men see women as a series of holes to fulfil them, not as human beings. It's extremely rapey.

Sure, it’s selfish to expect someone to have sex with you out of duty. The point is, if a woman actually loves her husband, but has no desire to have sex with him, it’s her responsibility to work on herself and figure out why. Could be medical, could be mental, or could be a combination. To just say sorry, not interested, and that’s that, is selfish.

People are allowed to decline sex. Just because you feel like it doesn't mean that she has to.

Breaking news - women are people too! Not just animated sex dolls!

Declining sex every now and then, yes. Declining sex indefinitely without cause or some sort of plan to address whatever grievance and/or grudge she's holding? no.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:OP, almost everyone's hormones fall off a cliff at some point.

If yours don't, you need a sex doll, not an actual woman. Or, you need to date / marry a desperate poor young woman.

If your hormones fall off, you still have an obligation to meet your husband half way and fulfill your marital duties. It is your responsibility to figure it out instead of leaving your husband hanging. For one partner to unilaterally declare the marriage celibate is cruel.

Meeting your husband half way does not make you a sex doll; it makes you a loving and caring partner. Compromise is part of marriage, it is common sense.

Maybe it's just a phrasing thing, but the idea of my wife "fulfilling her marital duties" makes my skin crawl. I want to keep having sex, but I want her to be an enthusiastic participant. If she's not, it's - at *best* - an unnecessarily complicated form of masturbation. I know I've heard wives around here say that "wanting her to want it" is expecting too much; but that's exactly what I want.

That was my point. If wife doesn’t feel like having sex, it is her responsibility to figure out the cause of lack of desire and fix it. So she can enthusiastically have sex. If you don’t see it as your responsibility then you will never put in the effort to fix your issues. And that is cruel to your husband

And if the cause of lack of desire is that the husband is a lazy piece of crap who does nothing around the house, and leaves all childcare, cooking and cleaning to her, is he going to step up? Or is he just going to keep demanding sex and potentially tell her to get on drugs so he can f*** her? It's like you've never spoken to a real wife before.

Eff this mess. Her fault for staying in a relationship she doesn't want to be in. If you're that unhappy, you leave. If you stay because you want the perks, the money, the house, whatever, then you do your job as a wife. The woman in this pathetic example isn't a "real wife" she's a whiny wannabe victim of her own crap decisionmaking.

Anonymous wrote:I could not figure out how to “want it” Andy more. I couldn’t make the desire happen. No matter what I did. I tried pornography and drinking wine etc etc. I finally realized I should just let my spouse go and find someone newer and younger. What can I say.

Wine is not going to do you any favors at 50+

Anonymous wrote:When dating someone in their 30s or early 40s, and the sex in the relationship is great. Is there a way of knowing if the woman will maintain her drive as she ages? This is my biggest concern as a man.

You seem like a pig. There is no way to predict and it should not be a concern. Medication, hormones, trauma, many factors can affect libido. You can’t control that and neither can she.
Eventually, she’ll realize you are a pig and libido will disappear when you are around.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:OP, almost everyone's hormones fall off a cliff at some point.

If yours don't, you need a sex doll, not an actual woman. Or, you need to date / marry a desperate poor young woman.

If your hormones fall off, you still have an obligation to meet your husband half way and fulfill your marital duties. It is your responsibility to figure it out instead of leaving your husband hanging. For one partner to unilaterally declare the marriage celibate is cruel.

Meeting your husband half way does not make you a sex doll; it makes you a loving and caring partner. Compromise is part of marriage, it is common sense.

Maybe it's just a phrasing thing, but the idea of my wife "fulfilling her marital duties" makes my skin crawl. I want to keep having sex, but I want her to be an enthusiastic participant. If she's not, it's - at *best* - an unnecessarily complicated form of masturbation. I know I've heard wives around here say that "wanting her to want it" is expecting too much; but that's exactly what I want.

I 100% agree. The men who want their wives to have sex with them out of "duty" when they don't want to sound so creepy. Why do you want to have sex with someone who isn't enthusiastically into it? These men see women as a series of holes to fulfil them, not as human beings. It's extremely rapey.

Sure, it’s selfish to expect someone to have sex with you out of duty. The point is, if a woman actually loves her husband, but has no desire to have sex with him, it’s her responsibility to work on herself and figure out why. Could be medical, could be mental, or could be a combination. To just say sorry, not interested, and that’s that, is selfish.

People are allowed to decline sex. Just because you feel like it doesn't mean that she has to.

Breaking news - women are people too! Not just animated sex dolls!

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:OP, almost everyone's hormones fall off a cliff at some point.

If yours don't, you need a sex doll, not an actual woman. Or, you need to date / marry a desperate poor young woman.

If your hormones fall off, you still have an obligation to meet your husband half way and fulfill your marital duties. It is your responsibility to figure it out instead of leaving your husband hanging. For one partner to unilaterally declare the marriage celibate is cruel.

Meeting your husband half way does not make you a sex doll; it makes you a loving and caring partner. Compromise is part of marriage, it is common sense.

Maybe it's just a phrasing thing, but the idea of my wife "fulfilling her marital duties" makes my skin crawl. I want to keep having sex, but I want her to be an enthusiastic participant. If she's not, it's - at *best* - an unnecessarily complicated form of masturbation. I know I've heard wives around here say that "wanting her to want it" is expecting too much; but that's exactly what I want.

I 100% agree. The men who want their wives to have sex with them out of "duty" when they don't want to sound so creepy. Why do you want to have sex with someone who isn't enthusiastically into it? These men see women as a series of holes to fulfil them, not as human beings. It's extremely rapey.

Sure, it’s selfish to expect someone to have sex with you out of duty. The point is, if a woman actually loves her husband, but has no desire to have sex with him, it’s her responsibility to work on herself and figure out why. Could be medical, could be mental, or could be a combination. To just say sorry, not interested, and that’s that, is selfish.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:OP, almost everyone's hormones fall off a cliff at some point.

If yours don't, you need a sex doll, not an actual woman. Or, you need to date / marry a desperate poor young woman.

If your hormones fall off, you still have an obligation to meet your husband half way and fulfill your marital duties. It is your responsibility to figure it out instead of leaving your husband hanging. For one partner to unilaterally declare the marriage celibate is cruel.

Meeting your husband half way does not make you a sex doll; it makes you a loving and caring partner. Compromise is part of marriage, it is common sense.

I agree with this I am a woman. My drive has remained high while DH’s has not. We were both high drive and well matched when we were younger.

His attitude is, if I’m happy, everyone must be happy. Uhh… no. Our sex life is mediocre from my perspective, definitely not what it used to be, but he doesn’t care because he is fine with what we have. So maybe the answer to your question is to marry someone who is not self-centered and who has the ability to see that your partner may have different feelings about something than you do?

Anonymous wrote:That's like asking is there any way to know if a man will not go bald.

Going bald is a sign of high testosterone. Bodes well for the bedroom.