Salsa studios. After my divorce I took salsa lessons cause I wanted to try something new. There were lost of women. And the guys more than 1/2 of them are really weird. I just wanted to learn to dance and didn't pursue any romantic/sexual adventure, but I wanted to it was the ideal setting

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I’ve met guys everywhere. The train, the store, on a walk, in traffic, at restaurants … (this is over the course of years; it’s not daily but it’s not unusual). I’m not particularly beautiful but truly beautiful is probably intimidating. I would say I’m interested maybe 5% of the time but I am nice when I reject them.

At least you are nice when you reject them.
Most women aren't. That's why men shouldn't approach women in public unless the woman gives her consent first.

lol how is she supposed to do that?

Women - please always carry the stick from the Brazilian steak house, red end up means "don't approach me", green end up means "feel free to approach me".

Honestly, this is a great idea. If only there were some kind of code so people wouldn't approach me unless I wanted them to...

Not being cocky about how many times I get approached. It's just that the desired level is near-zero, and I'd like to avoid.

Best: In your head. This is where your pickup lines will always land, and she'll always say yes.

Most reasonable: places where people go to meet. Bars, clubs, parties, social events, neighborhood gatherings, etc. are designed to bring people together to socialize. You'll probably have at least one common interest, based on whatever brought you there. There are also others around; safety in numbers.

Tread lightly: places people usually interact but the focus isn't socializing. Not everyone in a cafe, or at church, or at a museum, etc. is there for social interaction. While you may have something in common with these people, they may be there for their own personal reflection, relaxation, other relationships, etc.

Don't do it: places people have to be because they're working. Office co-workers are off-limits (don't shit where you sleep/eat/work). Don't hit on the bartender/server/barista/anyone else who can't get away from you and/or is getting paid to interact pleasantly with you. Don't try to pick someone up in a grocery store, at the bank (do people even go into banks anymore?), the laundromat, the doctor's office... People who are there to flirt can respond flirtatiously to your casual greeting and let you know. Otherwise, please let people who are simply out minding their business do what they came to do and leave unbothered.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I’ve met guys everywhere. The train, the store, on a walk, in traffic, at restaurants … (this is over the course of years; it’s not daily but it’s not unusual). I’m not particularly beautiful but truly beautiful is probably intimidating. I would say I’m interested maybe 5% of the time but I am nice when I reject them.

At least you are nice when you reject them.
Most women aren't. That's why men shouldn't approach women in public unless the woman gives her consent first.

lol how is she supposed to do that?

Women - please always carry the stick from the Brazilian steak house, red end up means "don't approach me", green end up means "feel free to approach me".

By saying "Come here, you magnificent creature, or something like that.

Running paths in the park. So I've heard. Best after sundown.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I’ve met guys everywhere. The train, the store, on a walk, in traffic, at restaurants … (this is over the course of years; it’s not daily but it’s not unusual). I’m not particularly beautiful but truly beautiful is probably intimidating. I would say I’m interested maybe 5% of the time but I am nice when I reject them.

At least you are nice when you reject them.
Most women aren't. That's why men shouldn't approach women in public unless the woman gives her consent first.

lol how is she supposed to do that?

Women - please always carry the stick from the Brazilian steak house, red end up means "don't approach me", green end up means "feel free to approach me".

Anonymous wrote:I second the "please do!" as long as it's not creepy. Places as are vast as "public" - the gym, the grocery store, the metro, on a walk. Just strike up a neutral conversation.

Agreed. I would go for it if done in a casual friendly non-pushy way. And you need to be available (not married) and have something to offer. Most women would be flattered.

Yay, street harassment.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:My boyfriend approached me while waiting for a train and asked if I'd want to sit together

That's strange just walked up to you and asked to sit together? Odd.

Best thing that ever happened to me. He struck up a convo and then when the train got there he asked what stop i was heading to and if I wanted to sit together/continue the convo.

Is he a really outgoing person in general? Did he ever describe to you how he felt that day?

I'd describe him as a reserved social butterfly. He is never the center of attention or life of the party, but he can shoot the sh-t with anyone about almost any topic and always leaves wherever he goes with new friends. It was a very cold winter day and I was shivering like crazy waiting for the train because I was in a work dress + pea coat + flats and he made some joke about it being a good thing i dressed for the weather and I joked back that I was dismayed because my humble hardworking parents paid good money for 14 years of catholic school skirts to permanently harden my legs to the cold, but I was apparently turning wimpy in my old age. He laughed and said he was also a reformed catholic school kid and we started chatting.

I am invested in this story. Did he get off at the same stop as you? At which point did you ask for his number?

sigh. he said one semi lousy joke and you responded with an autobiography. will never happen to OP.

OP i feel you brother.

Anonymous wrote:Is there some reason why the women you already know are uninterested in you?

Most women are never single. Notice that most tend to go from one guy to the other, scared to be alone.

Anonymous wrote:I'm surprised more people did not work this out and get over their fears in high school.

I remember building up my courage, approaching a girl to ask for her phone # after class. I didn't think I might have to see her everyday for the next three years! She might tell her friends and she'll laugh at me! My friends might find out and laugh, etc.

I'm Gen X so maybe a little older than most of the posters here.

The “me too” movement didn’t exist back then. The current generation has been raised to be more careful and respectful. They are less courageous because they have so much more to lose. They don’t want to take a risk in public when they can do it on dating sites.

I'm surprised more people did not work this out and get over their fears in high school.

I remember building up my courage, approaching a girl to ask for her phone # after class. I didn't think I might have to see her everyday for the next three years! She might tell her friends and she'll laugh at me! My friends might find out and laugh, etc.

I'm Gen X so maybe a little older than most of the posters here.

Anonymous wrote:I’ve met guys everywhere. The train, the store, on a walk, in traffic, at restaurants … (this is over the course of years; it’s not daily but it’s not unusual). I’m not particularly beautiful but truly beautiful is probably intimidating. I would say I’m interested maybe 5% of the time but I am nice when I reject them.

At least you are nice when you reject them.
Most women aren't. That's why men shouldn't approach women in public unless the woman gives her consent first.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Women don’t want to be approached. They prefer to complain about being alone since they don’t approach either.

Try therapy. You are obviously a misogynist.

You are misusing that word but I think you know that.

Of course they do!